Coffee Break With Me

Today when I picked up Khayla at the daycare, her babysitter related a story about my precious lapis lazuli while putting on her shoes,

'Today she shows her temper. She was playing with a toy and cannot took it apart. So she screamed angrily at it! Huiyo, this girl ah, got temper satu macam!'

I thought back of myself at the office - how I easily lose mine too whenever something went wrong.

*slap on forehead*

Like mother, like daughter!

Tonight I have nothing better to do so I decided to de-clutter my wardrobe and make room for new clothes (heh, my new year resolution is to buy nice clothes that I will feel confident in my own skin!).

I started the de-cluttering process at 8pm. At first I wanted to change the shelving system by moving the lower shelf to above the hanging rod. But my ever so helpful hubby told me that the cupboard is not designed to be flexible.

Immediately I hate my cupboard. Baru nak berangan2 ada wardrobe macam dalam katalog IKEA. Ces.

Anyway I had to work around the same look but I lowered the shelf to just above the bottom box where I store our kain batik and pelikat. I'll probably nail the shelf tomorrow when we can do noisy work (night-time is a no-no).

I racked my brain and godek2 the Internet to find some inspirations as to how to fully maximize my very small cupboard to store our clothes.

To my irritation, when I googled 'how to organise clothes in small cupboard' the images that appeared are wardrobe that are not small at all, they can even hold a few shelves of shoes! Hmmph. I guess the Western people's idea of small is not that small. Spacious to them is a walk-in wardrobe or closet after all!

So yeah, i was on my own to create a tidy, organized and highly functional wardrobe out of such a confined space.

The first thing I did was to take out all the clothes and separate them according to 'daily use', 'work wear', and 'cannot use anymore'. The latter is then further filtered into two categories - 'torn/yellowed/broken zip' and 'can't fit anymore but can still wear'. I then decided that I could make some money by selling the expensive pre-loved and not fit clothes anymore later.


I bought this top at Communique, price RM79

Once I've sorted out the clothes, I chose which clothes to keep folded on racks and which to hang. Basically those that are hung are jackets, trousers, coats, robe, and baju Melayu/kurung, while daily wear like blouses and work wear shirts are folded and kept on racks.

My biggest headache when it comes to messy cupboard are t-shirts. They are worn on daily basis, and therefore cannot be stacked folded because they'll end up coming undone when we pull them out. Knowing my dear hubby the type that can't be bothered to keep the cupboard in pristine conditions, I had to find a solution to store then in such a way that won't create a mess when we need to take one.

I had the 'a-hah!' moment when I remembered that we had a shelving organizer bought from IKEA we hardly used now that we had moved into new house. Previously I kept our little stuffs like socks and undies in the organiser but it was usually under-

I tied the organiser to the rod, rolled the t-shirts and slot them into the small shelf according to colours. When I was done, I beamed at my own creation:


Don't they just look lovely and tidy?

Same goes for the bath towels. Initially I plan to keep the towels in the bathroom cabinet once it is installed. But since our bathroom is still in progress, I just stack them vertically in the box so it can easily be pulled out when we want one without messing the others.

The de-cluttering process ended at 12am. Phew! But overall I'm happy with the result. It just goes to show that even with limited space,I can still have a pretty organised cupboard.

I've also made up my mind with each new item I purchase, I'll take out one item that I hardly use so I won't end up hoarding stuffs that will end up overcrowding my wardrobe.

Now I can stock up on new clothes. Hurray! If only I have tonnes of money to buy clothes right now in the midst of home renovation! :P

First of all, Happy New Year 2012 everybody! May this year brings only the best and nothing but the best  for each of us :)

It's 1am, I know. I sound a bit too perky at this hour because I had a cuppa two of coffee. Yes, I'm supposed to study because exam is just around the corner. It's waiting to jump out on me, catching me by surprise. I'm freaking out because I have not been studying at all! Why I'm so lazy, only God knows!

I'm about to enter the phase of 3.0 . Nope, it's not web3.0, nor is it Globalisation 3.0 as per my MIS lecture notes. The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, I'll still be in my 20s for another 6 months and then hello, age 30.


Before that, have you guys watched Disney-Pixar's cartoon movie 'Up'? The old man's wife fascinated me deeply because she knew exactly stuffs she wants to do when she grows up and actually had it written down in her 'Adventure Book'. Of course I was not that gung-ho, but I do remember some of the things I wanted to do when I grow up.


At the age of 6, I wanted a lot of things to happen. Simple, innocent things like boarding the plane, and going to university. Read my post about my dreams as a six-year-old in my post written 7 years ago (wow!).


At 10 years old, my idea of being 30 years old is well, old. With a few kids (5 to be exact, like what I told my friend Nick Chang when I was 14). Definitely a grown-up. Even being 20 years old is considered a grown-up back then.


Ok, fast-forward to me at age 20.


At that age, I was already in university (cross out this item from my life plan) and working hard towards being what I want to be at age 30. A successful career woman. My vision of me as 30 years old  was, well - a confident, wise and very much well-to-do woman (WOMAN ok) who is breezing through her career in an international MNC and married to an engineer (what can I say, I went to an engineering varsity). Oh, I also revised the number of kids down to 2, although I'm still keeping an eye on the 5 kids vision. Let's just be a bit more realistic here, Internet.


So here I am. Almost 30. Have I actually made it, or did I break it?


1. Married, 2 kids (originally 5) - I would say, I almost made it. I got married at the age of 24, in 2006. I first became pregnant at the age of 26 (2008), but it was an unsuccessful pregnancy and left me traumatized for a few months following the miscarriage. Praise be to Allah, I became pregnant again at the age of 28 (2010), and we welcomed Khayla in December 2010. But, if my first pregnancy was successful, I would have taken this off from the list of stuffs I will do when I become 30.


2. Go to land of mat salehs (part 2 - Europe) - Refer to my entry in 2005, this was one of my to-do item back then. I'm proud to say - yes, this is definitely a completed item! Thanks to my sister who read my blog and then offered to take me to Paris in 2007. It was the most fabulous trip of my life. Then we had another accidental trip to Europe when my previous Company sent me to a conference in Madrid, Spain. Managed to persuade En Suami Terchenta to tag along so we could have our nth honeymoon (we lost count of how many honeymoons we had before Khayla come).


3. To own my own car and house. Still working on that. Checked. We bought our first car in 2006 (not a pleasant experience, mind you), but it was definitely a worthwhile purchase. Our CLK had brought us to countless destinations and served us most loyally despite my initial dislike to it because it wasn't the blue car that I ordered. Thank you CLK!
Secondly, the house. Like most things that happen in my life, it was pure accident that we found ourselves as house owner. We were shopping for household items at Jusco and a month later, found ourselves signing S&P agreement. Will blog about the house in details when I have the time.


5. To go to Mecca - still working on this. 

6. To have a grand wedding (later revised to a simple but sweet wedding) - What was I thinking when I revised the vision?? Of course every brides want a big wedding! I wished I had paid more attention and details to my own wedding. As it was, I was too busy working and being in denial of the fact that I was getting married and forever tied down to a big commitment.  So, suffice to say that my wedding preparation was my biggest regret and if I could turn back time, I would take all the time in the world to make it my big day. Yes, on top of a sea cliff, wearing white gown, sauntering beneath a beautiful arch, complete with perfect weather and everything.

Woke up this morning feeling not so well-rested. Hubby had crashed next to us after burning the midnight oil finishing his report. Khayla was already awake and doing her favorite activity - standing and holding to the bed head. Thinking to tease her, I shifted over to hubby and cuddled up to him - and as expected, Khayla felt left out and started to crawl over and try to get between us. She is such a jealous baby. Camane la nak ada adik ni?

Morning activity is the same. Prepared porridge for my little girl (broccoli, carrot and blended anchovies), and while waiting for it to cook, bathed her. Khayla soon started to crawl after me and whine for food after her bath - so I gave her a plate of chopped banana which she contentedly ate and afterwards, played with while sitting in her baby chair. After she had had enough of banana, I scooped some porridge and we settled down in front of the idiot box watching Babytv while having a proper breakfast.

Hubby had to leave for a group discussion and there was just the two of us to continue with the day. After finishing her porridge, she nuzzled closer for a cuddle and a round of breastfeeding session. After she dozed off, I put her down and went to hand wash her clothes - then put them for a spin in the washing machine. By that time, Khayla had woken up only to find Mommy is not around. It was already 12pm, I scooped her up and then brought her to the guest room to iron our clothes - we were going to a kenduri kahwin in Bukit Damansara.

After that, I had to leave Khayla by herself while I took a quick shower. She was in full tantrum mode by the time I was done, and yet I could not pick her up because I had to: 1) put on my clothes, 2) re-heat her porridge, 3) prepare a bottle of formula milk for the journey, 4) store the warm porridge in a container for the journey 5) pack her bag, 6) put on some makeup and my headscarf, 7) put everything in a carrier bag ready for the trip. After all was done, then only I picked up my crying little girl and changed her into a matching outfit ;)

Then we went down to the car, but once I had settled Khayla in her car seat, I couldn't find the GPS holder - then I remembered it was on the fridge (dammit!). So I made a quick dash (it was drizzling some more!) back to home (with Khayla) to fetch the GPS holder, and also to fetch her dummy. After she was settled down for the second time in her seat, I noticed that one of her sandals is missing. So it was a third trip to trace the sandal (without Khayla this time). By the time I went back to the car, my little girl was crying - again.

All set and done, we drove off to our first destination - the petrol station to fill up on fuel. Then, to the gift shop to get a wedding gift. After all that needed to be done was completed, then we set off.

It was lucky that I simulated the journey before we went for the trip because most of the journey, the GPS was not working. It is the stupidest GPS navigator I've ever invested in (it's called Papago, installed on iPhone 4). So I had to rely on my memory to reach the destination, based on the journey simulation.

We reached there at almost 2pm, Khayla had fallen asleep in the car after a bottle of milk and a nibble on a biscuit (she dozed off while holding the biscuit - such a dear sight). Getting out of the car while holding the baby, a bag and the gift was a chore - luckily I got a parking close to the entrance.

Khayla was hungry when she woke up and she ate a good deal of her porridge. After the wedding, she was in a better mood and she fell asleep again during the journey back. We decided to stop by at a bakery to order her first birthday cake this coming 15th. Gosh, I get teary-eyed whenever I think of my little baby who is growing up into a little girl. I wished we could spend a lot more time because I never get tired of my little baby.

We reached home at almost 4pm. By that time, I was tired and my hands were aching. After settling down a bit, we both took an afternoon nap - such a wonderful nap it was!

Never will I venture out of the house with only the two of us - it's too tiring! So, how's your weekend, my friends? :)

Everyone keeps pointing out to me how lucky i am to be working with a giant company in Malaysia. Just mention where I work, and everyone's eyes lit up - they start to imagine how big the paycheque is, the perks, the travels, etc.

Maybe some people working here do have the luxury of that feeling, but for me, I feel that  my pay does not match up to my workload. I believe a lot of people here share the same sentiments too.

It's not that I'm ungrateful of what I have. I remember the feeling when I first joined the Company - it felt like I had been rescued from raging torrent. Fast forward 3 years later, the energy had run out. I used to have a great leader who is concerned about us, and who is fair and sympathetic to our burdens. But my current leader is - to quote my colleague, she's a nice person but as a boss, she sucks.

She is hardly visible from the bottom perspective, unlike the previous boss. She's surreal to our daily operations, and has no idea the suffering and pressure her staff is going through. She leaves office early every day, so has no idea how long her staff has to stay back to ensure that people are happy with the services provided. If she had to stay back, she does not observe - to her people staying back is normal. If she had an ounce of concern, she might go back and think - my staff also have family, why do they have to stay back? Is there too much workload that they can't finish it on time?

I'm not the perfect boss either. I am strict to my staff, I put high expectations and can be very demanding. I rule by emotions too, and I have little patience for silly mistakes and ignorance. But when it comes to personal time, I don't encourage staff to sacrifice their own time for work. I don't do it, so why should I expect they do it?

But to me, the worst thing she does as a boss is giving unequal distribution of workload to her staff. One department is so overworked, and another is so relaxed. You can practically divide the division into two zones - a happy cheerful zone (goes back on time, not much workload blabla), and the quiet, much more subdued zone (overworked, operations get diverted to them as they are the true implementer of service, blabla).

During year end performance review, I tried to highlight that as the lowest grade executive in the Company, I am being tasked to run a department without a direct reporting line to a manager (or put it this way, other departments have their own managers, I don't). Where the tasks of decision making, strategy formulation and policy-making are given to the managers in other departments, I have to carry those responsibilities in my own department. Of course I have my executive job as well to do, and when my staff get stuck with a lot of work, I help out with their daily operations as well.

So you can imagine how exhausting it is to be in my spot - a manager one hour, an executive the next and occasionally a supervisor or a clerk. Eventually it affects my work quality, and gets me so concerned with such working arrangement that I voiced it up. After all, I'm only paid to do one level  of job scope - as a junior executive. Why do I have to be tasked with responsibilities that even senior executives don't carry? Senior execs for example, have only one or maybe no staff reporting to them, I have 2 to manage (previously 3).

But of course she did not see it that way. She said my job is created in a flexible way that even junior exec can sit on it. Of course she can say that, because I get things done. What if I just told her to shove it if she asked me to formulate a policy or write the next board paper? (I'm just a junior exec, get someone else to do it!)

Hmm. That reminds me to print my own PD and put it at my work station so I can point out that I'm paid to do only a certain level of task, so she can give it to someone else or do it her own. If one thing I know best - it's delegating. All this while, I've been delegating downward,  maybe it's time I delegate upwards.

Okay, I'm going to admit something. I hate BabyTV. But I love it (for Khayla's sake). And I hate it too. Strange, eh? Khayla only stops wriggling and resisting any attempts to feed her when the channel is turned on. She'll go into this zombie mode - glassy eyes absorbing the Hippa Hippa Hey or Oliver the Discoverer or whatever, and her mouth automatically opening without even seeing the spoon reaching her mouth. Then she'll chew chew chew (or if there's a baby song playing, her mouth will stay still full of food, and when the song is over then only she'll start chewing) without even tasting the food.

If I'm in my easy-peasy Mommy mode, I simply can't thank BabyTV enough for keeping my precious occupied while I hurriedly feed her, or zoom around the house getting things done. But most of the time, I prefer that she crawls around, exploring and learning rather than become a tv addict. So, there. The story of my love-hate feeling with BabyTV.

Talking about Khayla, she has been feeling rather unwell for the past few days. It started when I had to travel overnight to KK. I thought it'd be fine - she had started on formula milk a couple of weeks now so no issue of milk supply like last time. In fact, when we were Skype-ing, Khayla did not even bother to look at me frantically waving and calling out her name. She was just busy with the remote control or the tv console (do you know that babies her age are busier than a CEO?).

But that night, Khayla was down with fever and the next day, she was lethargic and slept the whole day at the nursery (according to her Daddy of course). Apparently Khayla is still having problems to detach herself from Mommy. So there goes our long weekend plan. When Khayla is sick, she changes into this overbearing child - who can't be left alone, needs to be cuddled all the time, needs Mommy's breast all the time, and to put it frankly, she becomes a whiny and tearful baby when she's awake.

I love my baby very much nothing in this world will make me want to part from her, but when she's in this mode I wished that daycare is open during weekend so I can get some needed rest. Do you know how stressful is Mommy's occupation, cupcake? Can't you just give me a 5 minutes break?

By the way, if you are wondering how then I get to write down this whole entry, she's currently having a nap (praying it will be for a couple of hours, but she just coughs and whines and stays quiet so probably her Daddy is lying down beside her till she falls asleep again) and I'm a really fast typist, so there. Phew. Oh yes, I haven't had any breakfast because I was busy trying to catch a moment here and there to fix her breakfast, do laundry and fold clothes. Let alone do my assignment or revision for an upcoming quiz next weekend.

Take a deep breath and try to do one thing at a time. Brunch first. Then study (if Khayla is still asleep). Toodles!