Woke up at 6.30 am today although last nite crashed home quite late after a girls' nite out watching scary movie and gossipping during dinner. Just sat, still under my warm blanket, blinking in the dark, trying to remember something.

Oh yeah... I'm on leave. No work. Get back to sleep. I fell back onto my pillow. Snore...

Woke up at 9.30 am. Pretty early, considering that I'm not working today. I couldn't sleep, so I just rolled off my mattress, and went to shower. Couldn't decide what to do today. We were supposed to go on a holiday - us four. Since we can't go to beaches anymore for fear of tsunami, we decided to call it off. Cancel. Now what?

Ate breakfast, chit-chatting with my two housemates who were on their day off. I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. OK, I have to fetch my bike which I'd left at my office. So around noon, I went to my office.

I entered office, chatting on the phone with Anne, wearing extremely casual (jeans & denim jacket) that everybody stared.

'Afternoon, everyone.' Cheerfully greeted everyone before heading toward's Jane's & Adri's room. Then I did the unthinkable. I decided to spend my hols. WORKING.

Yup, Carneyz the workaholic. Tsk, tsk. How pathetic. So, ciao.
Things are rather hectic this morning as I decided that I would have to take things into my hands to fast-track a lot of pending jobs.

915 am - Brief progress discussion with Project Engineer on signages' issue.

Me : Yeah, really like to know what's the current status. It should be up there a month ago.
Him: That, but they are giving a lot of excuse.
Me: When's scheduled delivery?
Him: Err... a week ago?
Me: Tsk. How bothersome. Are we going to see the Director and get slaughtered for failing to meet this delivery timeframe?
Him: I'll check with them but the PO mentioned 2 weeks' delivery and by this weekend, if they are not responding, I guess we're legally free to replace them.
Me: Yeah, good. I'll update the progress?
Him: Yes. Monday.

950 am - Internet kiosk discussion with Systems & Network Administrator.

Me: Are we installing anything? What's the progress?
Him: Waiting for the booth design.
Me: But can't we get the contractor to do that as well? We're not engaging ID to come in.
Him: No. Basically, we have the PCs, but we don't have kiosks in place.
Me: Well, constructing a new one would mean more investment. Why not just use the current setting? It looks bad that we're promising something, but we still haven't put anything there.
Him: OK. But as for the clocking system, we have to purchase that.
Me: I have to check whether it's necessary.
Him: OK.

1015 am - Ad agency presenting a proposal. Impressive. Jen and I whispered at the back of the room and giggled :p Shessh... Girls, we're in a meeting...

1100 am - Creative agency came.

Me: That would be 10,000 pieces of brochures?
Them: Yeah.
Me: What happened to the bromide?
Them: Err. (Nasir got out his phone) I'll call Didiz.
Me: I've another job. Signage.... bla2.. propose the material... bla2... measurement, we'll go upstairs and estimate... bla2... as soon as possible. Is Monday ok?
Them: OK (each scribbled in planner)

1130 am - Website. In email. For review.

1200 pm - PR keyed in wrong. Have to issue new PR. Done.

1230 pm - Corporate kit ready.

100 pm - Coffee Break... :)
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

-William Congreve, The Mourning Bride , 1697

- Ironic. Isn't it? You once loved someone and then one day, you woke up hating that person like you've never loved before. I remember the Prophet (peace be upon him) has this advice to all,

'Love each other moderately, because you might hate each other one day;
and hate each other moderately, because you might love each other one day'.

The religion teaches us to do everything, to feel everything, moderately. We might never know when our heart turns the other way and all the things that we said about someone we hate will end up upon ourselves, will eat us up.

In the end, it's just another game played in this world.-

I feel complain-ish.

I remember feeling this emotion only when I was in debating community. When I first joined debate, I got on the wrong end of one of the senior debaters and somehow I bore a gloomy impression on debate meetings till I decided to end my debating life prematurely (as Rajan claimed). I loved debating, but I always felt eggy whenever I was around anyone in debating community. Then something happened, and I swore off debating forever.

Then I resumed my happy-as-a-lark life towards the end of my university life. I was rarely down, I was forever laughing. Seriously, one of my friends even made a joke on how easily I erupted into a hearty laughter at the slightest thing that amused me.

Only when I started work at my current job, I seemed to shed the happy person I was to become someone somber, always worried, always keeping a distant between myself and the surroundings.

I am not happy but I don't know what causes this unhappiness. My pay cheque is better than any of my friends, I have free access to the Internet, I've met good friends whom made life even more bearable.

I feel like my work is meaningless. The inter-department relations are so exhausting that I dread having to ask for their help. My work is so menial that I don't have to use my brains to do it and here I worked hard at graduating with a first-class degree only to spend my time preparing souvenirs, ordering stuffs, hauling boxes of things around, writing memos, processing payment, photocopying...

The whole programme defeats its purpose that I believe none of us find this job interesting anymore. I think this is what they call boredom at work. Burnout. I don't know.

I feel so exploited.

Sabtu lepas aku gi tengok citer nih bersama2 ngan orang tu. Memang kelakar :D Cerita ni mengisahkan dua orang mamat (Stephen Chow ngan watak 'Porky' dlm Shaolin Soccer) yg teringin nak join sekumpulan mafia yg bergelar Axe Gang. Diaorang nih berusaha membuat huru-hara di sebuah perkampungan miskin yg mana penyewanya ialah seorang makcik yg garang yg suka hisap rokok n buli suami. Tapi diaorang tak tau orang kampung tu memang hebat2 belaka dalam kung fu.

Adegan yg membuatkan aku ketawa terbahak2 ialah bila si gemuk tu nak baling pisau kat makcik tu, pisau tu terkena kat Stephen Chow. Lepas tu bila makcik tu nampak dia yg baling pisau, dia nak baling bakul pulak kat makcik tu. Tapi dalam bakul tu ada ular berbisa yg mematuk Stephen Chow sampai bibir dia bengkak n besar giler. Muahahah!! Kelakar seyy...

Tapi satu kekurangan citer nih ialah byk benda dia tak explain. Contohnya macamane Stephen Chow akhirnya pandai berkungfu. Pagi nih aku pun gi website dia. Website nih memang impresif. Saspek betul kat diaorang sbb kecanggihan teknologi yg diaorang gunakan utk buat filem nih setanding ngan filem Barat. Walaupun kebanyakan unsur2 dia dicedok dari filem Stephen Chow yg sebelum nih - Shaolin Soccer. Kalau nak rate, aku rasa Shaolin Soccer lagi menarik. Tapi secara overall, not bad... ;)

'Apsal dia tu? Pagi-pagi dah ngamuk?'
'Moody la tu. Menyampah betul.'
'PMS kot.'
'Apa tu?'
'Alah.. alasan je tu. Benda sket pun dah nak marah2. Bukannya first time pun. Bulan2 pun kena. Takkan tak leh control?'

Note: Kepada semua lelaki yg penah mengutarakan ucapan sedemikian, meh sini. Nak kasi lempang sebijik. Diaorang mana penah rasa sakitnya menjadi seorang perempuan. Nak buat plak tuduhan melulu. Kata-kata 'biasa la tu, tu pun nak kalut lagi. Umur dah berapa?'; 'alah, sakit sikit pun dah nak makan orang. Takkan tak leh tahan?' ; 'apa? dua minggu lagi baru nak 'kene' pun dah start mengamuk? tak tahan betul ngan karenah perempuan nih. emosi sgt!'

Sama jugak macam lelaki2 yg cuma terkebil2 bila tengok isteri diaorang mengerang kesakitan nak beranak. Sempat lagi isap rokok, borak2, gelak2 kat luar hospital ngan member2 baru yg tengah tunggu isteri diaorang jugak.

'Sakit sangat ke? Mcm buang air besar je kot.'
'Kalau sakit sangat, mesti diaorang serik nak beranak kali kedua. Tak de ape2 kot. Diaorang je buat ekspresi muka lebih2.'
'Aku kalau bini setakat mengerang2, aku malas nak layan. Dah dekat2 tu, baru aku drive dia ke hospital.'
'Alah, diaorang jugak yang suka beranak.'

Sedangkan isteri diaorang bertarung nyawa nak melahirkan keturunan diaorang. Hampeh betul suami macam tu.

Menurut satu website yg aku jumpa, PMS nih ialah:

Pre-menstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a condition characterised by a variety of
symptoms which occur up to 14 days before the menstrual period and cease with or shortly after the arrival of a period. PMS affects some 74% of all women.

Dr. Abraham Gay, bekas profesor pakar sakit puan kat Universiti California, LA, menerangkan simptom2 PMS:
Pre-menstrual Anxiety (A): This is characterised by elevated blood oestrogen and low progesterone. 75% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Anxiety, irritability, insomnia, depression (just before menses).

Pre-menstrual Hyperhydration (H): Associated with salt retention and possible elevated aldosterone (an adrenal hormone that affects fluid retention). 65–75% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: weight gain above 1.4 kg, breast congestion, abdominal bloating, swelling of face and extremities.
Pre-menstrual Craving (C): Characterised by evidence of reactive hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar). 30% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Craving for sweets, increased appetite, headache, fatigue, palpitations, fainting.

Pre-menstrual Depression (D): Characterised by elevated progesterone levels later in the menstrual cycle, and by a possible increase in male hormones (androgens). Sometimes there is evidence of chronic lead poisoning. Only a small percentage are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Depression, forgetfulness, confusion, lethargy.
Although some women only suffer from one sub-group of symptoms, it is common to suffer from any combination of sub-groups at the same time.
Apa puncanya?
Hormonal disturbances are often given as the major cause of PMS. Mainstream medicine offers little more help than the use of synthetic hormones (pil perancang la tu). What is often forgotten or ignored is that nutritional deficiencies, an underfunctioning liver, stress and even a disturbed gut microflora may give rise to or exacerbate hormonal disturbances.
So mintak kaum Adam supaya bersabar bebanyak ngan kaum Hawa bila diaorang menunjukkan tanda2 akan bertukar menjadi singa walhal tak de buat salah apa pun...
We've received our corporate diary this week and everybody was happy with it.

The diary is really nice. Its cover is made of imitation of leather, with sewn edges. The left side is trimmed with patterns that looks like crocs skin (but of course, it's purely imitation). The color is classy, tanned brown. Everyone has something to say about the diary.

Mine, as the selector, received the sample version, which is even nicer. The pages dividers are glittering gold in color, with silver fonts typed on them. I merely pretended that I get the same diary as with everyone else's.

The diary is so nice that there are so many requests for them. However, since it is very limited editions (everyone has got theirs already, anyway), there are grudges when someone didn't get his just because someone else's name appears twice in the list HR gave to each department, and his name didn't appear in any department (how could this happen?).

One staff practically barged into my room asking for his diary because someone else has pocketed his diary instead. I had to firmly turn down his request mainly because I have distributed the diaries accordingly to each head of departments to be given to their staff. If the distribution somehow ended up with someone in his department getting TWO diaries, then is it supposed to be my fault?

I'm surprised and also amused at how they managed to turn the blame on me when the responsibility to distribute to each staff should be on HODs. They think that I should treat them like school children about to receive their food scheme (remember all those chocolate drinks we received under those scheme?) when it comes to distributing the diaries. Adoi, adoi... What sort of workplace am I working at? A kindergarten?

Even when senior managers just called up and asked for x number of diaries with the reason to distribute to business partners, I will in return, requested for the list of names of their business partners. It's tough being a diary keeper. I guard the diaries jealously. No one shall get it without me knowing the reasons why they should get more diaries than others'.

I tell you, by mid-year, everyone will forget that they have a diary. Trust me.

- There. I've done that oredi :) -
Johor may get LRT system

JOHOR BARU: The state is waiting for the go-ahead from the Federal Government for the construction of a Light Rail Transit (LRT) system here to ease traffic congestion and boost the public transportation system.

Works and Housing Committee chairman Datuk Baderi Dasuki said the Finance Ministry was studying the matter with a consultant firm which had been engaged to examine the feasibility of using the LRT system.

“We’re confident of a positive outcome from the study and construction works for the LRT system is expected to start in 2006,” he told the state assembly when winding up the debate on the state budget yesterday.

Under Phase One of the project, the LRT service will ply a 30km route from Skudai to the new Customs, Immigration and Quarantine complex and end in Pandan.

Phase Two will comprise two routes – a 10km route from Pandan to Ulu Tiram and a 20km stretch from Pandan to Pasir Gudang.

Baderi said the people were looking forward to the LRT system as an alternative to buses and taxis.

On tourism, Long said one reason the number of tourists from Europe and the Middle East was small was that there were no direct flights from the areas to the state.

Johor, he added, would discuss with the Transport Ministry, Senai Airport Terminal Services Sdn Bhd and other agencies on how to tackle the problem as the state wanted to benefit from the arrival of tourists from these areas.

Source:The Star Online

-hehe... klu aku masih stay kat JB time tu, maka semakin senang la nak merayau2 n pegi tempat2 kat Johor ni yang aku tak penah pegi lagi walaupun dah 4 tahun menghirup udara Johor. Dulu aku selalu gak berangan2 klu la ada LRT dari Tmn U ke UTM. Kan ke senang nak gi kelas tak yah nak tunggu bas, naik teksi dsb. Jimat duit aku ;) Kalau ada LRT dari Tmn U ke Senai pun best jugak. Tak de lah aku riso berulang-alik ke tempat keja! -
Norlida rayu KFA jangan tamat kontrak Hasmawi
Oleh Ahmad Naim Tahir

KLUANG: Biarpun hatinya remuk kerana dimalukan, Norlida Abdul Rahman merayu Persatuan Bola Sepak Kedah (KFA) tidak menamatkan kontrak bekas tunangnya, Hasmawi Hassan, semata-mata akibat masalah peribadi mereka.

"Saya rayu (KFA) jangan tamatkan kontraknya....itulah periuk nasi dia," kata jururawat berkenaan ketika ditemui di pejabat peguam, K Siladass & Partners, di sini, petang semalam.Katanya, adalah tidak wajar jika kontrak Hasmawi ditamatkan kerana masalah yang tiada kaitan langsung dengan prestasi permainannya, sebaliknya berpunca daripada soal peribadi."Saya ada baca dalam akhbar bahawa KFA akan menamatkan kontraknya tahun depan kerana masalah kami ni....saya harap janganlah buat begitu."Masalah ini peribadi antara kami....mana dia nak cari duit...nak bayar pinjaman keretanya lagi...," katanya yang ditemani abangnya, Mohd Zain, 28, ke pejabat peguam berkenaan.

Laporan akhbar semalam memetik Naib Presiden KFA, Datuk Chong Itt Chew, berkata pihaknya setuju sebulat suara untuk menamatkan kontrak penyerang itu sebagai amaran kepada pemain lain bahawa KFA tidak bertolak ansur sekali pun membabitkan soal peribadi jika ia boleh menjejaskan imej pasukan.Katanya, persatuan itu akan mengadakan mesyuarat khas secepat mungkin bagi membincangkan perkara berkenaan supaya penamatan kontrak Hasmawi dibuat mengikut prosedur.

Sementara itu, Presiden KFA, Datuk Seri Syed Razak Syed Zain yang juga Menteri Besar Kedah dilaporkan berkata, tindakan Hasmawi itu menjejaskan maruah Islam dan bangsa Melayu jika benar berlaku sedemikian.

Dalam perkembangan lain, Norlida mengucapkan terima kasih kepada semua pihak sama ada secara langsung atau tidak yang bersimpati dengan kejadian menimpanya dan keluarga."Ramai yang menghubungi dan melahirkan simpati...saya ucapkan terima kasih banyak-banyak kepada mereka, juga kepada pihak yang menawarkan pelbagai bantuan seperti khidmat guaman kepada saya," katanya.

Antara pihak yang menawarkan khidmat guaman percuma kepada gadis berkenaan dan keluarganya ialah Gerakan Belia 4B Johor (Belia 4B) menerusi Pengerusinya, Syed Hood Syed Edros.Bagaimanapun, keluarga jururawat itu semalam secara rasmi melantik firma guaman, Tetuan K Siladass & Partners untuk menguruskan tindakan undang-undang berhubung kes berkenaan.

Sumber: Berita Harian

- Baik betul perempuan nih... dah la abis RM20k utk buat kenduri kawin yg tak jadi, dah la kecewa & mungkin trauma nak menghadapi perkahwinan lagi pas nih, tapi dia masih simpati kat bekas tunangnya tu. Orang lain plak yang marah, yang sakit hati, yang menawarkan diri ambil tindakan menghukum bekas tunangnya tu. Kepada Norlida, semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan ni n dapat jodoh yang lebih baik daripada bekas tunangnya tu... Amin! -
Ngantuk. Semalam aku kurang nyenyak tido. Bila subuh, aku dah celik mata. Lepas subuh, tak boleh tido. Cuma berteleku di tikar sejadah, tanpa perasaan apa2. Sebab terlalu awal, aku baring semula kat tempat tido, berselimut n terkebil2 melihat siling sampai siang.

Hari ni pun aku dah jadi cam Chairman. Diam je dengar lawak jenaka member2 yang lain. Tak de perasaan nak join diaorang gelak-gelak. Sebenarnya teringin nak berjalan2 kat luar, tapi takut diaorang tertanya2 apsal aku tak berminat nak borak2.

Perasaan aku macam mati. Letih memikirkan terlalu banyak perkara sejak kebelakangan ni mungkin. Letih ngan karenah bebudak rumah, tempat keje, n segala yang berlaku dalam hidup sekarang.

Mungkin kene pegi beri ikan makan lagi petang ni.
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-La... patutla pc aku bengong2 je...rupa2nya ada label nih!-
Semalam aku gi lepak kat tasik utm lagi.

Ada satu ketenangan bila lepak di tasik tu. Walaupun petang tu ramai orang yang bersantai di sana dan kebanyakannya terdiri dari 'couple' yang tenggelam dalam dunia masing-masing, tapi aku tetap rasa tenteram.

Aku rasa terhibur tengok ikan2 datang menyambar makanan yang ditabur ke dalam tasik. Hai, ikan2 ni tak pening2 kepala nak fikir pasal bermacam2 masalah. Diaorang tau, pukul 4-6 petang, masa utk makan. Seronoknya jadi ikan.

Dulu masa jadi RA, aku selalu gak lepak di tasik sambil beri ikan makan. Masa tu cuti semester n tak de sapa2 yang buat bising di sekeliling. Aku akan bertenggek di tepi jambatan, menikmati angin sepoi2 bahasa. Memang waktu tu aku pening pasal masalah kewangan (bilalah nak dapat keje best ni?) tapi aku ada masa utk merehatkan diri-sendiri. Kekadang kawan baik aku lepak sesama tapi selalunya aku lepak seorang diri.

Sekarang ni semua tu dah tak sempat aku buat. Aku balik keje malam2. Aku balik n tido. Esoknya aku bangun n gi keje. Dan begitulah rutin seharian. Suatu hari nanti, aku dijemput pulang ke rahmatullah n rutin aku pun abis. Tak de yang menarik. Tak de yang bermakna.

Kekadang aku teringin nak buat sesuatu yang akan memberi kepuasan kat aku. Misalnya jadi sukarelawan di negara2 Islam yang miskin. Atau mengembara ke seluruh dunia. Aku nak mencari hikmah di sebalik kehidupan, bukannya sekadar menjalani kehidupan. Tapi realitinya, aku tak mampu.

Aku ada mak bapak yang aku perlu jaga sama macam diaorang jaga aku selama ni. Aku ada orang tu. Akhir sekali, aku seorang perempuan yang sentiasa terdedah ngan bahaya dan fitnah dunia.

Aku terpaksa redha n hidup seperti orang biasa.

I'm a drama queen. I realized that. One single thing that gets on my nerve, and I'll dramatize it most wonderfully. That is one way for me to release pressure - work pressure, personal life pressure, study pressure.

I'm not someone who, whenever they get depressed, they'll keep quiet and create a distance between themselves and the people around them. I know my beloved is one such person, but he rarely gets depressed.

As for me, I made it known to the world that I'm distressed. I find it an extra need to be close to my loved ones to let them know that I'm happy / unhappy.

'Why?' I flung my arm passionately with a facial expression that clearly spelt out my frustration,
'don't my e-mails appear in my Outlook account?? I didn't meet the media deadline because the ads visuals couldn't get in my inbox and boy, our Director called last night to tell me specifically that it has to be up this Monday!'

Probably because I'm a Gemini that I find the need to be constantly dramatic just to illustrate my life. Probably it's because I'm born to be someone who easily gets excited, nervous, impatient, anxious, in other words, I have Type A personality.

I hope I can learn to be more relaxed, more focused, less hectic. After all, it it's not meant to be, I'll just be wasting my energy being a drama queen. Ciao!
'Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall... Humpty Dumpty had a great fall... Siott nyer lagu! Tak pasal2 keta nih jatuh bukit. Aku jugak yang fail... Tukaq, tukaq...'
Ha! Ha! Begitulah aku semasa tgh test driving semalam. Bagi mengurangkan rasa nabes yg menyakitkan jantung aku, aku pun menyanyi kecil dalam kereta masa tunggu giliran. Mula-mula masuk kereta tu, segala macam doa, surah lazim, istighfar, selawat dan zikir aku baca. Mintak2 keta aku tak terundur. Mintak2 enjin kereta tak mati. Segala macam harapan masa tu.
Al-hamdulillah, semua berjalan lancar. Getaran keta masa clutch dah imbang pun aku rasakan sebab aku fokus ngan bersungguh2. Malam sebelum tu, aku sibuk bertanyakan orang tu macamana kalau aku tak rasa clutch tu, macamana kalau enjin mati, camane, camane... Kitaorang hampir2 gaduh plak berapa kali stereng keta Kancil berpusing sebelum betul2 dah abis pusing (3x kali la, cik abang...) sebelum akhirnya borak pasal bendalah lain. Lantak la berapa kali, asal dia berpusing. Abis citer.
Masa nak buat test jalan raya, dalam fikiran aku ligat berputar arahan nih - 'betulkan seat. betulkan mirror. pasang tali keledar. free gear. start enjin. check lampu signal, besar/kecik, hazard, wiper, hon. tekan clutch abis, masuk gear reverse, balance clutch, sedia minyak, tengok rearview, tak de keta, tekan minyak, reverse, pusing stereng ke kiri abis, tegak, clutch n brake, gear 1, stereng kanan 2x, signal kanan, check rearview, side kanan, toleh kanan, jalan...'
Seriously. It kept on repeating in my head like a recording tape. I guess that is how women can balance so many things at once because there's a recording tape that keeps on playing in her mind reminding her all that she has to do,
'make breakfast. sweep floor. mop. laundry. kiss hubby off to work. bathe kid. feed kid. send to school. hang clothes. tidy up the house. grocery. prepare lunch. fetch kid from school. feed kid. send kid to tuition. fold clothes. iron clothes. prepare tea. wait hubby. gardening. prepare dinner. help kid with homework. send kid to bed. sleep.'
Apapun, sekarang aku dah berjaya memiliki lesen keta ;) Semoga perkara yang sama berulang plak untuk test motor lepas nih. Hiyak! Hiyak! Berusaha tangga kejayaan!

I feel like this. Lazy. Boss keeps coming in and out of office, dumping more jobs on my table. It goes:

'Carneyz, once Purchasing Manager has seen and filled up the Europe Congress form, can you see to the purchasing documentation...'
'Carneyz, please help to sort out...'
'Carneyz, please find the letter from Johor govt and draft the reply...'

Carneyz has just finished emailing webmaster to update the website according to the updates she has prepared over the past two weeks, called up an agency wanting something, received calls from KL office (shoot! the phone is ringing again!) about to start on two other PRs, sent email to HR exec wanting to know staff breakdown according to divisions to distribute company's calendar which arrived yesterday and goodness gracious! Carneyz is BUSY!

However, I need a timeout. I need to blog. I need to snooze and blog. I need to be motivated. Yup. That's it. I need motivation.
Nampaknya ore Kelate ari nih gi shopping naik bot. Baca coretan Junaidix, sumbernya a.k.a. kawan baik dia kat sana siap main kocak2 air lagi sesambil ber'chatting'. Meriahnya dok kat Kelate nun... ;)

Sebenarnya aku dah lama teringin nak gi Kelantan sana. Silih berganti roommates aku mek2 Kelate n Terengganu sibuk mengajak aku gi Pantai Timur. Paling last sekali aku gi Kelantan ialah, err, dah lama dah :p Aku teringat peristiwa nih masa kat Kelantan arituh,

Masa tu kitaorang nak pi Pantai Cahaya Bulan (PCB). Kitaorang tahan bas yang nak gi sana. Aku la orang first yang bersemangat nak naik bas tuh. Pakcik drebar pun tanya,

'Nak gi mana?'
'Pantai... err...' (alamak! terlupa nama pantai tuh!)
'Pantai apa?'
'Pantai Cinta Berahi!' konpiden je aku jawab.
'Oo... Pantai Cahaya Bulan la dik...'
Member2 aku sibuk gelakkan aku kat anak tangga bas. Aku masuk bas dengan muka merah sambil penumpang2 lain tersenyum2 jeling kat aku.

Tapi yang best nyer makanan kat Kelantan memang murah2 n sedap2 belaka. Aku paling suka nasi kerabu. Mula2 tengok, aku gerun jugak tengok nasinya yang biru. Selamat utk dimakan ke nasi nih? kata aku dalam hati. Tapi bila dah cuba, wah3! sampai sekarang kalau nampak nasi kerabu aku tak leh miss. 'Kasi budu lebih sket yek?' Hehe...

Satu lagi pengalaman tak leh dilupakan, ialah makan eta. Eta tu sejenis kupang (ek? ye ke?) yang kecik, n susah nak dikopek. Aku menghabiskan setengah jam nak kopek 5 eta tu aje. Jadi, secara puratanya, aku mengabiskan 6 minit nak bukak satu eta tu. Orang lain dah semangkuk, aku baru je 5. Hampeh betul.

Shopping kat Kelantan pun best, especially gi tempat2 buat batik n gi Pasar Besar Siti Khadijah. Aku ingat lagi apa yang aku borong utk family aku kat rumah. Batik Kelantan, wau bulan, baju tidur kelawar utk mak aku, n jubah utk diri-sendiri =) Masa tu kan trend pakai jubah... Nampak sopan. Ntah kenapa lepas tuh aku dah tak pakai. Nak lasak susah... :p

Akhir sekali, persepsi aku kat orang Kelantan nih sebenarnya kelakar orangnya. Diaorang nih buat lawak memang best. Kawan aku Kasuadi (Wadi, kat manalah ko sekarang? Dengar kabar dah kawen? Betul ke?) adalah contoh member yang paling lawak pernah aku jumpa. Dia nih plak berkawan kamceng ngan member baik aku, Anip Poyo, Haiza, & Kak Iha.

Masa kat rumah seorang member yang buat makan2, kitaorang ditugaskan memanggang ayam. Kawan aku, si Haiza nih pakai tudung rumba2 ala2 Wardina. Dia mengipas2 muka dia ngan bucu tudung dia sebab kepanasan dek aktiviti memanggang tu. Si Wadi nih sibuk mengusik Haiza.

'Za, za... Ari raya nanti ko tak payah nak beli sumbu pelita, kan Za? Tu kat tudung ko tu byk sumbu pelita, Za...'

Kitaorang dah terbongkok2 gelak. Wadi, Wadi... Memang banyak la kenangan lucu ngan diorang nih...

Akhir sekali, aku nak pi Kelantan la berhari raya Aidiladha kat sana :) Tak sabar2 rasanya menjejakkan kaki semula kat negeri 'serambi Mekah' tu...
Semalu - nama saintifik mimosa pudica. Dulu masa kecik2, aku suka mencangkung tepi jalan, main daun semalu nih. Rupa2nya ada citer di sebaliknya...

Pada suatu hari, Rasulullah s.a.w berjalan-jalan bersama puteri baginda, Saidatina Fatimah r.a. Setibanya mereka berdua di bawah sebatang pohon tamar, Fatimah terpijak pohon semalu, kakinya berdarah lalu mengadu kesakitan. Fatimah mengatakan kepada bapanya apalah gunanya pohon semalu itu berada di situ dengan nada yang sedikit marah.

Rasulullah dengan tenang berkata kepada puteri kesayangannya itu bahawasanya pohon semalu itu amat berkait rapat dengan wanita. Fatimah terkejut. Rasulullah menyambung kata-katanya lagi. Para wanita hendaklah mengambil pengajaran daripada pohon semalu ini dari 4 aspek.

Pertama, pohon semalu akan kuncup apabila disentuh. Ini boleh diibaratkan bahawa wanita perlu mempunyai perasaan malu (pada tempatnya).

Kedua, semalu mempunyai duri yang tajam untuk mempertahankan dirinya. Oleh itu, wanita perlu tahu mempertahankan diri dan maruah sebagai seorang wanita muslim.

Ketiga, semalu juga mempunyai akar tunjang yang sangat kuat dan mencengkam bumi. Ini bermakna wanita solehah hendaklah mempunyai keterikatan yang sangat kuat dengan Allah Rabbul Alamin.

Dan akhir sekali, semalu akan kuncup dengan sendirinya apabila senja menjelang. Oleh itu, para wanita sekalian, kembalilah ke rumahmu apabila waktu semakin senja.

"Ambillah pengajaran dari semalu walau pun ia hanya sepohon tumbuhan yang kecil."
-erk... alamak! isk... isk... aku lebih dasat dari pohon semalu. Sampai malam masih kat opis.... Oleh yang demikian, aku nak balik la...
As I sat in front of my pc doing another purchase document, I nearly let out a scream.

I forgot that Magic was in town last couple of days. I so totally forgot! I'm supposed to contact her and arrange for hang out session or something, but darn it! My over-used memory fails to serve me this time. Magic, so sorry.... :p I really, really forgot about it....

Anyway, my weekend wasn't that fabulous. I went for driving lesson as early as 8 a.m. and came back around 3 p.m. of which, after turning and un-turning the wheel, I was really glad to see my teddy bear beckoning me to hug it and sleep. For a couple of days, I focused hard on improving my driving skills (which is still lousy...) in time for the big test this Thursday. Gulp.

Anyway Magic, hope you had a nice weekend in JB last week :)

"If I could have one wish granted, then God, let us be forever this way. Frozen in time"

I've always dreamed of freezing beautiful moments in order to re-visit these moments, untouched, unscratched.

Of smiles, every curve of it, showing perfect white teeth, twinkle in the eyes. Happiness in its true form.

"If I listened hard, I could hear echoes from the past"

To which sometimes I whisper back the words, every single of it, like music in my ear. Then brushing it away, as the heart grows tender.

"To remember you like this. The one who makes me happy"

It's like a blessing, it's like a curse. To be given strong memory, only to remember only the harsh moments. To forget all good things that had happened, as anger fills every inch of the heart.

"Calamity! Calamity! What chaos has entered our lives?"

I cease to think.
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Ni meja aku. Berselerak lagi. Aku nih memang malas nak ngemas meja sebab aku tau lepas tu aku kene kuarkan n hamburkan balik mas wat keje.

Tengah wat minit meeting n at the same time, update website company :p. Baru je abis tepon IT exec. mintak merge n create satu je akaun email utk tujuan meng'contact' department aku. Gambar yg aku tampal kat dinding partition tu, ialah gambar my two sweet sisters n my mom. Kalendar tu plak tgh buat balancing act atas bekas kuih yang akak opis aku ni kasi tapi sampai sekarang tak abis2 lagi coz aku 'kureng' minat kek buah.

Bekas pensel yg comel tu ialah hadiah dari kawan baik aku kat Sarawak. Manakala bekas coklat yang tak buang2 lagi tu plak, tak diketahui lagi sapa yang kasi. Tau2 atas meja aku ngan note 'To Carneyz' and lima minit kemudian, piranha2 yang lahap telah memakannya sampai la tinggal bekas je... Sadis betul riwayat coklat Ferarro Rocher tu.
We went to Singapore yesterday afternoon, on an educational trip (yeah...). Basically, when the four of us are together, we are an educational item by ourselves. Great educational as in how to be happy at work :) OK, drop it. Hehe. Let's get on with the story.

After a hasty lunch, we all piled into the car and off we went to Changi Airport. We were busy chewing gums and filling in our White Card with the radio on. Mind you, we have a manager as our chaperon, but what the heck, he's quite young and pretty much work on the same wavelength *grin*. Chairman was entrusted to take photos for the business report after this trip.

We arrived at Changi around 2.30 pm. We met the PR Manager, who escorted us to the conference room. Changi made us cringe. It stretched on and on and everything was modern. Their presentation was impressive. That doesn't stop us from giving an equally impressive presentation ourselves. Hehe.

After the presentation, we were brought around the terminal, to duty-free shops and other sites. The Sunflower Garden was lovely. We took photos with our back to the apron side where all the planes were parked. We boarded the skytrain to go to Terminal 1. We were having fun!

Then the official visit was over and by that time, we were hungry. Once again, we piled into the car and went to Suntec City for dinner. The manager made all of us wander around the mall until he decided to have dinner at Fish & Co. I ordered Fish Platter and goodness, the meal that was spread before me! Chips & fish, and grilled prawns & fried squid, and rice. Anne even ordered ice-cream cake for dessert!

We finished everything on our plates (pan?), and the guys joked that we should spend the rest of the month in the gym, burning off the fat we accumulated today :p

Then, the best part of the err, business visit was to go to Night Safari. The entrance fee was expensive (S$24) but it was a worthwhile visit. It reminded me of the trip to the zoo, only this time it was night visit. The surrounding was made to look like a jungle. We joked, and laughed hysterically. Anne slipped and fell, and the guys laughed. Chairman took photos of animals and photos of us. By the time we got on the tram, we were so hot and exhausted. It was already 10.00 pm by then. The night air was cool, and everything was enjoyable.

When it was over,

'Can we do this again?' Everyone laughed. It felt more like a vacation than a business trip ;)

Then, before we went back, we cruised along Orchard Road and the sight was fantastic. Lights spilling all over the place, Christmas decor everywhere. We were sorry that the trip had to end.

Lastly, here's some pix that Chairman took during the visit :)

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'I feel like we're entering Santa's world' Marketing exec said to me

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'At the Sunflower Garden'

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Jen, me & Anne

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At the Glow Hut in Night Safari

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Cruising along Orchard Road and part of the Christmas deco...
Last nite balik lambat lagi.

While photocopying some documents, I joked to Dill, the HR Exec,

'I leh dapat extra bonus lagi ke?'
'Raya bonus is the only bonus we got la...'
'We must be employee of the month!'
'Of the year...' (both erupted into laughter)
'Of the millenium!'

Reasons aku selalu balik lambat:
1. Esok banyak keje sekolah.
2. Ada meeting yg selalu abis lambat
3. Ada meeting after opis hour
4. Trivial stuffs yg kene buat selalu kena tolak ke tepi sampai dah jadi important & urgent stuff
5. Tak de bende nak buat kat rumah.

Kekadang aku rasa, alasan no. '5' tu yg menjadi alasan paling utama. Aku tak gemar tengok tv. Kalau ada rancangan best, aku tengok la. Aku terlalu penat nak buat design. Aku rasa tido awal buat badan rasa lenguh esoknya. Tak de sapa nak diajak keluar makan, jejalan, shopping. So baik aku dok opis siapkan keje. Abis citer.

You Are a Bright Star Soul

Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you achieve

You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You possess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

'Number 1 in everything' - a.k.a. competitive.

... Yeah right. I'd rather shove my projects to someone else right now. But for today, looking forward to Singapore trip with the rest! :)

Esok nak pi Singapore. Sepatutnya aku ada 2 appointment - satu kat S'pore, satu kat KL. Aku kensel kan yg kat KL sebab clash ngan trip ke S'pore. Lagipun bos aku cover utk aku yg kat KL. Begitulah aku sehari2. Klu boleh dibelah dua badan ni, mesti dua-dua aku kene pegi.

Trip ke S'pore besok akan disertai oleh colleagues kamceng yang lain - Anne, Jen, Chairman, aku. Lepas official trip, dalam itinerary ada trip to Night Safari. Besh2... Kitaorang akan mengabiskan sehari di S'pore sampai malam ;) Tak sangka plak Night Safari tu diluluskan oleh SIRIM. Hehe.

Hujung minggu ni sepatutnya gi Singapore lagi. Tapi tu pun kene kensel jugak. Aku kena attend driving class. 16hb nih test. Takut aa...

Lastly, ada coklat atas meja aku semalam. Hari nih dah jadi arwah. Sapa ntah la baik ati tinggalkan coklat tu... Kan dah abis kene makan oleh aku n kamceng2 sekalian? :p
A conversation 2 hours before we presented the proposal, in my room:

Chairman: We need a Vice Chairman.
Anne: Says who?
Chairman (flipped open the proposal at the appendix page, the board of committee page, pointed to Vice Chairman position which was left blank) : Says me.
Jen: I vote you.
Carneyz (busy doing another job): uhuh...
Anne: I agree.
Chairman: Vetoed out. Can't. I'm Chairman (under his breath) voted unfairly.
Jen: Even if you were there, we would have elected you anyway.
Chairman: No.
Carneyz (suddenly aware not contributing anything): I agree.
Anne & Jen: I know! Carneyz!
Carneyz (still busy completing some other tasks): Yeah.
Chairman: I can put your name?
Carneyz (suddenly aware I did something wrong): No.
Anne: You just said yes.
Carneyz: No.
Jen: Those who feel Carneyz should be VC, raise their hands & feet on the air!
Anne, Chairman & Jen: Aye!
Carneyz : NOOOO!!!

Pengajaran: Jangan buat keje lain masa meeting. Tumpukan perhatian masa meeting.
Proposal Diluluskan!

Proposal dah diluluskan n peruntukan akan ditambah sebanyak setengah juta!

Memang tak sangka... sbb kitaorang budget dlm suku juta je dalam proposal tu... Dah la Chairman memang gelabah giler bila dia serahkan proposal tu kat Datuk n Datuk suruh dia summarized kan proposal tu Kesian Chairman... Kitaorang memang suka buli dia

Apa2pun, syabas kat Chairman sbb dah present ngan baik . Sekarang kitaorang bersiap-sedia keje macam nak gila utk projek setengah juta ringgit nih!

I was busy working on purchasing documentation this morning when I received a phone call.

'Eh, what do you usually give in corporate pack ye?'
'Corporate brochure, bla2...'
'I need it la, this Thursday, 10 pack. My boss is going for a business trip overseas and he wants them by Thursday.'
'As in tomorrow?'
'The thing is, paper bag dah abis. Baru nak order. Seminggu lagi baru sampai.'
'Ala, ye ke? abis tu, macamana? Anyway, I nak before esok jugak. You carik la alternatif...'
(Geram yang tahap melampau)
'Cik Annoying, next time bagitau lagi last minute ye? I boleh dapatkan whatever the rest of corporate gifts tu. As for the paper bag, would you be so kind as to ask someone in your department to run that errand for you?'
(Geram giler!)
'Because I have other urgent matters to attend by today and since PA big boss tak de, I also have to do her job today. My schedule is really tight.'
In a voice that clearly implied 'that's not my problem', she replied,
'By tomorrow morning ye?'

>Silence<. Aku cuma mampu melihat gagang telefon ngan mulut ternganga at how rude some people can be. Mula2, dia nak mintak tolong. Tak de official memo, tak de apa. Mintak tolong macam bagi order. 'I nak tu, I nak ni... I nak by tomorrow...' Hello? I sapa? I ni keja bawah you ke?

Tak pelah, aku buat gak semua tu. Balik semula dalam bilik lepas dapatkan semua intan permata yang dia nak, Manager Procurement bagitau,
'Miss Annoying called. Asked you to call her boss.'

Ha. Ni satu lagi aku tak suka. Mengadu kat boss. Dah la malas nak buat sendiri. Sendiri nak, sendiri la cari alternatif macamane nak dapatkan. Semua harapkan orang lain. Tak dapat, complain kat bos. Menyampah.

Aku terus tak de mood sepanjang hari tu. All because of one annoying person :(
Tea lady tak datang hari nih. MC. Kena buat air sendiri. Tapi tak kisah la. Cuma arinih environment n temperature dlm bilik opis aku agak hangat. Di sebelah aku, PA bos besar aku tengah tersedu2 sbb balax dia tersalah hantar mesej orang lain kat dia. Masalahnya, mesej tu mesej yg berbaur romantik n jelas n nyata dia main kayu tiga. Kalau orang tu tersalah hantar mesej romantik kat aku, aku tak tau la reaksi aku nanti. Bertukar menjadi hulk kot.

Di sebelah lagi, manager procurement tgh menyumpah2 sbb proposal dia telah di'reject' oleh bos besar. Lepas tu dia blah, gi isap rokok kot. Kat kompeni aku nih kebykan manager memang suka isap rokok. Dulu masa aku join kompeni nih aku ingatkan secara kebetulan je habit tu ada. Tapi sebenarnya, kekadang aku pun rasa mcm nak... makan coklat.

Makan coklat nih salah satu cara aku menghilangkan tensen. Time aku study dulu, aku mesti beli stok coklat masa nak exam. Kalau sesapa bagi hadiah coklat kat aku, aku memang hepi. Balik dari cuti raya ari tu, diaorang HR distribute coklat hadiah dari kompeni kat semua staf. Aku gumbira sampai tersengih2 tak henti2. Dasat power kegembiraan tu.

Aku pun tak kurang tensennya ari nih. Sbb ari nih Selasa. Selasa means ada meeting Projek 1. Aku dah muak ngan projek nih. Aku nyer part dah abis (al-hamdulillah..) tapi aku kena pastikan semua orang buat tasks diaorang sbb aku koordinator projek. Aku yg bertanggungjawab menjawab soklan2 dari Datuk kalau tak de progres. Dulu masa jadi debater, ada gak benda2 nak digoreng asalkan pandai putar-belit fakta. Tapi kalau tak de benda nak digoreng, aku nak merapu2 pasal apa? Anyway, diaorang sumer cakap Datuk doesn't like bulls**t. Start merapu, siap la aku sorang yang kena tanggung natijahnya.

Pas tuh WIP list aku (work-in-progress) pun dah dari 1-page, jadi 3-page. Gila? Memang gila. Aku dekat nak pengsan. Kawan aku Anne selalu cakap kalau dia jadi aku, dia mesti hari2 mintak ubat migrain kat klinik. Mujurlah aku dah biasa. Huhu!
Today is crazy. Crazy day. Crazy, crazy day.
Aaah... akhirnya dah clearkan keje2 tertunggak n menunggakkan dirinya kat atas meja aku nih... buat masa sekarang la. Sat lagi aku nak kena contact deco company yg nak mai petang nih n juga pasal quote yg perlu diperjelaskan isi kandungannya tuh. Tapi sekarang nih, LET'S HAVE COFFEE BREAK WITH ME!

Weekend lepas memang sonoks2... :p Bila berjumpa ngan beloved, memang la suke! Suke aje. Hehe. Setelah puas merayau2 kat KL tu, dah tak de idea nak gi mana lagi. So kitaorang melepak kat Zoo Negara. Mana2 ajelah, asalkan boleh berjalan. Menapak dari hujung zoo ke hujung zoo. Dah bosan, naik plak train yang tak jalan atas trek, tapi atas jalan biasa je ;)

Malam plak, gi tengok The Incredibles. Citernya memang original, tapi jalan citernya agak hambar. It's about a superhero family, with superhero powers but they are supposed to lead boring & drab normal life. So when Daddy got offered a superhero job, he accepted gleefully but has to kept it secret from his family coz Mom doesn't want to break the rules (again). Turns out Dad is QC for a super-robot invented by a crushed no. 1 fan whose Dad offended in his younger days. Somehow Mom found out about Dad's secret but Mom thought Dad is having an affair. So Mom flew to err, the 'secret location', unaware that 2 of her kids followed her on the jet. Lepas tu, yang lain tu korang gi la tengok sendiri. Interesting in the way the cartoon tries to potray the normal side of a super hero.

Pagi nih masa aku tunggu document yg aku print, aku ternampak someone printed something:

A man and his small daughter were about to cross a river and had to walk on a small and frail bridge. The man was worried that he would fall off into the river. So he asked his daughter:

'Anna, please hold Daddy's hands.'
His daughter replied.

'Dad, don't ask me to hold your hand but let me hold your hand instead.'
The man was confused (I was confused too!) so he asked.

'Why don't you want to hold my hand Anna?'
His daughter replied again.

'Dad, if you asked me to hold your hand and if I should fall, I would let go of your hand. But if you hold my hand, no matter what happens to me, you would never let go.'

So ada beza antara kita mengharapkan seseorang tuh sayang kat kita n kita sayang kat orang tu tanpa mengharapkan apa2. Kalau kita harapkan dia utk sayang kita, n dia berhenti utk menyayangi kita, kita akan kecewa. Tapi kalau kita sayangkan dia tanpa harapkan dia sayang kat kita, kita selama2nya tak akan kecewa. Hehe. Betul ke pengajaran citer nih? Aku pun tak tau! Bagi aku, lagi best kalau sama2 suke. Muahahah!!

But to love, unconditionally, will keep alive hope. Eternally.
Terasa nak tido dalam kelas. Ngantuk... Malam semalam tido kul 2 pagi. Menurut Junaidix, tak cukup tido leh gemuk. Tapi aku peratikan makin banyak tido lagi gemuk. So antara gemuk ngan lagi gemuk, baik la aku gi gym lagi lepas balik dari KL nanti :p (hehe, ayat apakah ini?)

Sebab tak puas hati ngan Celcom aku pun tepon Celcom helpline. Lepas mendengar marketing message dier yg panjang berjela2 (n lepas dekat 10 kali call), barulah aku mendengar suara Celcom consultant tuh.

'Yes, may I help you?' 'Yeah. Message failed to be transmitted.'
'Your mobile number?'
'Where are you staying right now, miss?' 'JB?' (duh...)
'Hold on, miss. There was a server problem in that area. We'll try to solve this problem in 24 hours.'
Hello? I've a relationship to save here, ok? Can you make it in another 5 minutes?

'What u can do, miss, try to switch off ur phone for 10 minutes. Then switch it on, and give another 1 minute. Then try to send a text-message to any number.'

Aku pun buat apa yg dia suruh. Tapi bila aku switch on tepon n try send message lepas seminit tuh, message tak leh jugak antor. Geramnyer! Rasa nak baling dalam tong sampah! Aku pun tepon sekali lagi. Kali nih bukan setakat message tak leh hantar yg aku complain, aku lecture sekali pasal mesej sampai lewat, bla2... Ha, amik ko!

Kali nih, baru la boleh hantar mesej. Hampeh. Tunggu la aku ada duit sket, aku nak tukar mobile operator. Murah, tapi service teruk, buat aper?
Sebenarnya aku kene bz ari nih coz esok aku cuti. Kat dalam 'To Do List' aku ada 5 item + 1 item presentation proposal petang nih. Tu baru keje2 sampingan. Tak masuk projek lagi.

Jadi pendek cerita hari nih keje sekolah aku banyak giler. Tapi aku terasa malas nak buat coz malam semalam aku balik lewat utk menyiapkan presentation assignment aku. Petang semalam dah ler aku dilanda perasaan moody yang tak terbendung2 lagi. Huaaargh!! Aku tak puas hati. Bukan kat orang tu, tapi kat orang lain yg melepak kat blog dier. Awat? Cuti sekolah ke sekarang ni? Dia takde keje ke nak buat? Huhu... Serba-sedikit, prestasi akademik aku terjejas disebabkannya.

Then aku bengang kat Celcom. Nak hantar mesej tak buleh. Mesej orang kasi kat aku selalunya datang lambat. Paling pecah rekod, bos aku hantar mesej pasal meeting yg penting kelmarin, sehari kemudian baru sampai. Aku terpinga2 je la baca mesej tu. Not good for business la macam ni. Mesej sampai bukan realtime. Huh. Pagi nih try call helpline dier, tak de pun 'so-called consultant' on the line. Hampeh. Patut la sms 2 sen je.

Malam semalam. Aku baru je bersuka-ria nak balik awal lepas abis distribute stock greeting cards kat department2 bila group member call.

'Wey, meeting la.'
'Ni dah pukul 6.30 p.m. Balik la..'
'Esok present tau? Pukul 3 ptg? Balik apanyer? Mlm ni ada consultant nak datang.'
'Ek? Meeting malam? Tak penah2 dibuat orang..'
'8 malam tau?'

So malam tu kitaorang kelas prep malam (buat OT). Seperti biasa, tu janji Melayu. Meeting started pukul 8.30 mlm. Abis kul 10 mlm. Aku dah ngantuk, bosan, aku rasa meeting tu dah off-track, letih, nak basuh baju, nak mesej kat orang tu, nak tido...

Abis je meeting, diaorang blah, Chairman cakap, 'Right, guys. Jom buat presentation.'
Ternganga aku kat situ jugak. 'Ey, I balik naik motor tau? Bukannyer Merz...' aku remind dia.
Tapi memandangkan masa dah suntuk, aku pun banyak keje sekolah esok ari, so aku terpaksa gak setuju ngan pakatan diaorang.

Akhirnya, kul 11.30 malam, dah finalized decision, n delegate part assgt masing2, n kitaorang pun balik. Aku tak kira ada speed trap ke tak de, aku pecut laju2. Hah! Sampai jugak kat rumah pukul 12 mlm.

Mandi, basuh baju, solat, tido... Pagi nih lepas Subuh, tido balik. Bangun lambat. Tak panaskan enjin, gi isi minyak, pecut lagi, n sampai opis pkl 9.05 pagi. Adoi la... lambat sampai sekolah. Cikgu plak depan parking lot. Hish, so pagi nih keje sekolah mesti disiapkan jugak.
Beberapa minggu yang lepas, aku gi blog Sifoo grafix aku (eh, baru teringat. Mana sebutharga utk bromite tuh??) n tergelak besar tengok betapa akademiknya sifoo aku sekarang nih.

Jadi aku nak paparkan kat sini terma2 akademik yang diaplikasikan dlm environment kerjanya:

1. buat keje sekolah = buat keje kat ofis
2. pergi jumpa cikgu = jumpa client / bos
3. group discussion = meeting
4. buat assignment = projek berproposal
5. waktu rehat, pegi kantin = lunch hour
6. ada final = keje on deadline
7. menulis abc = buat programming (nie programmer aku je)
8. mewarna lukisan = sedang mendesign
9. cikgu marah = client /bos tak puas hati
10.tolong cikgu = keje free tak berbayar /overtime
11.ngorat cikgu = tackle client / ampu bos, promote
12.cuti sekolah = aku cuti
13.ponteng kelas = lari dari client buat sementara..

Walaupun keje2 aku sekali-sekala je mewarna lukisan n tak penah lagi menulis abc, aku rasa kebanyakan term tu memang relevan. Jadi aku nak tambah beberapa kat sini:

14. buat matematik = banding harga
15. buat esei = proposal pendek
16. pendidikan seni = cut-n-paste keratan akhbar

Muahaha! Memang best, kreatif, inovatif la otak Sifoo aku nih...

Adaptasi dari: Sifoo
I usually don't like to keep tabs of my tasks coz eventually I will have to prioritize each items and find out that everything is needed URGENTLY.

But I'm a (fill in the blank) management graduate, I'm supposed to do things in an organized way.

So I tried doing that, you know, at school they taught us it's called time management. Among others, plan & organize, set goals, prioritize, use a to do list, consider biological prime time, & delegate. Here's the consequences:

Plan & organize. Theoretically: Organize in a way that makes sense to you. If you need color and pictures, use a lot on your calendar or planning book.
Practical: I'm a chaos by nature. I'm chaotic. Organizing doesn't make sense to me. My calendar and organizer serves no purpose except to check when's the next public hols.

Set goals. Theoretically: Set goals which are specific, measurable, realistic and achievable. Your optimum goals are those which cause you to 'stretch' but not 'break' as you strive for achievement.
Practical: I tried doing this. Honest. At the end of the day, I want to accomplish three tasks and not more. But setting goals and deadlines do not see eye to eye. Deadlines will prevail at the end of the day. Some would argue, why not set goals to achieve deadlines? I tell you why. Because apparently out of nowhere, an unknown and impromptu deadline will jump out of nowhere to kungfu-kick all my beautifully-set goals and makes me jump up and run around to fulfill my obligation as cheap labor. (Note: If I'm paid based on my efforts, my salary would equal that of a CEO).

Prioritize. Theoretically: Use the 80-20 Rule. Identify the valuable 20 percent task. Once identified, prioritize time to concentrate your work on those items with the greatest reward. Flagging items with a deadline is another idea for helping you to stick to your priorities.
Practical: All my tasks fight each other to be at the top of my list. How's that?

Use a to-do list. Theoretically: Use a daily To Do list which is constructed either the last thing the previous day or first thing in the morning.
Practical: About the only thing I do daily. And the most useful :)

Consider biological prime time. Theoretically: The time of day when you are at your best.
Practical: My biological prime time requires me to still snuggle under my comfortable n warm comforter and only go to work around 8 p.m. coz that's when I am truly awake.

Delegate. Theoretically: Distribute tasks equally among co-workers. This would avoid pressure and fatigue.
Practical: There's only ME & MY BOSS. My boss does the delegating, I'm being delegated.
Hari ni aku rasa tak sihat plak. Badan sengal2, kepala pun rasa berat. Semalam dapat housemate baru. Student praktikal dari UM. Tua setahun dari aku. So panggil 'akak' le.

Tapi keje kena teruskan jugak pasal tak de orang nak buat keje2 nih kalau aku tak buat.

Aku ada meeting kena organize esok, so everyone has to know about it today. Minit meeting yang lepas kena make sure circulate sekali lagi coz mesti diaorang dah delete sebelum cuti raya nih. Agenda meeting kena buat. Serabut.

Petang nih committee project 3 ajak survey lokasi, pukul 3 ptg. Aku check schedule - 3 ptg ada agensi graphic design buat appointment ngan aku. So aku decline invitation diaorang. FA (finished artwork) dah hantar thru e-mail, tapi tak ikut spec yang aku kasi. Letih aa... Kena call dia balik habaq yg spec tu kena ikut betul2. Mintak dia kasi revised FA before 3 pm so we can meet ngan printed FA ready. Aku dah bosan ngan revised FA nih, sama cam diaorang bosan nak revise FA tuh. Banyak sangat kepala nak ikut, aku jugak yg susah (kan Didiz kan...)

Sabtu lepas bos besar suruh revamp website. Tu tak bersentuh lagi. Sibuk ngan media deadline. Ada satu lagi agensi yang aku nak kena kejar for FA diaorang plak.

So wat sapa2 yang tau bidang aku nih, biarlah diaorang tau. Sesapa yg tak tau, cukup la tau yg aku selalunya agak bz. Sebab tu bersyukur sesangat dah ada motor sendiri. Tak de la tensen sangat pasal pengangkutan. Kalau kena balik lambat, ada la transport sendiri. Tak macam dulu, housemate kena amik kat opis :p

Begitulah hari2 aku di sini... Huhu... Bila nak fly gi KL lagi nih? Rindu la kat orang tu ;)
Biarkan ia terbang
Hingga ke langit maya
Andai itu bahagianya.

Biar berguguran tiap kelopak
Kalau tiap ikatan itu
Melayukan bunga di tangan.

Wahai kasih
Rindu di hati
Kasih di jiwa
Biar tidak terungkap
Kiranya amarahmu lebih agung dari kasihmu
Dan kepercayaan terhakis terhadap ikhlasku

Aku pinta
Biar gugur bunga di jambangan
Patah sayap jentayu menongkah langit
Walau sepi dari kalbu
Merekah mengharapkan kasihmu
Agar damai jiwaku
Dan terhapus duka keranamu

Bukan begini ertinya
First of all, it's really irritating that work has commenced and here I am, blogging as usual.

Tapi tak pe. Raya memang seronok. Apatah lagi sebab last year aku tak balik, so tahun ni kepulangan aku memang dinanti-nantikan. Sepupu-sepapat yang dulu kecik2 lagi, sekarang dah semakin tinggi. Ada dua orang dah masuk ke sekolah asrama, dan kelihatan lebih matang. Sepupu yang dulunya masih baby yang merah, sekarang dah pandai berlari. Waah, nampak sangat aku dah lama tak balik.

Sempat jugak berpuasa di kampung sehari sebelum raya. Aku jadi blank sekejap sebab selama ni masak untuk paling ramai pun lima enam orang, tetiba kena masak untuk lebih dari 30 orang sedara-mara yang berkumpul kat kampung tu. Paling senang dan ekonomi, masak tom yam la... hehe.

Tapi sehari sebelum raya memang sibuk. Mak aku tak sampai lagi. Jadi aku yang kena take over masak2 nih. Aku, sepupu aku n kakak aku kena potong 5 kg daging dan ayam. Adik2 n sepupu2 yang kecik tolong kupas bawang n halia. Sepupu lelaki menghidupkan api kat tepi rumah untuk panggang ikan, dan sorang lagi kena gi beli kelapa parut untuk buat kari daging. Memang macam nak wat kenduri! Malam tu sibuk la nak masak2. Letih, tapi seronok.

Pagi raya, lepas mandi, kaum adam semua gi masjid semayang raya. Kaum hawa potong kelupis (erk, korang tau tak bendalah ni?) n kek lapis yang bermacam jenis. Biskut raya n kekacang diletak dalam balang n dihidangkan di ruang tamu. Bila kaum lelaki balik, kitaorang duduk di ruang tamu, bersalam-salaman. Lepas tu, amik gambar family. Huhu, besarnya keluarga aku! Sepupu aku kena amik tiga snap gambar nak cantum jadi satu gambar besar :p

Lepas sesi fotografi, barulah naik ke atas untuk menjamu selera. Lepas tu, turun n berkonvoi ramai2 ke rumah Nek Usu dan Nek Wa (panggilan Wa ni untuk nenek paling tua atau sulung, atau kat sini orang panggil Long). Tinggal la dua tiga orang je nak layan tetamu. Tengahari baru balik. Begitulah suasana beraya family aku :)

Tapi malangnya tetiap raya mesti ada masalah bekalan air. Jadi tugas2 mencuci pinggan n memasak ni jadi leceh. Aku paling fed up sekali la bila air takde. Tapi nak wat lagu mana? Sabaq je la...

Manakala for the rest of the day, aku just dok kat dapur, tolong masak, cuci pinggan n hidang makanan. Kalau ada sesapa nak jumpa baru turun n tunjuk muka sekejap. Memang ramai gak la makcik2 yang nak jumpa. Maklum la, dah lama tak balik. Soalan standard ialah - 'Dah abis belajar ke? Keja ke sekarang? Kat mana?' Tak miss jugak soalan cepu emas - 'Dah ada...?' Yang tu aku biarkan tergantung je. Segan la nak jawab >blush< .

Lastly, sebelum balik ke Johor, aku sempat singgah beraya di rumah orang tu. Aku yang seperti biasa over-imaginative membayangkan yang menakutkan je. Tapi sebenarnya mak ayah dia ok je :p Nasib baik dulu aku selalu gak gi interview sebelum landing kerja nih, jadi tak de la tergagap sangat nak jawab soalan2 yang bertubi-tubi tu. Muahahah!! Pas tu, sesi fotografi bermula n sesi me'napow' kuih2 raya sebelum aku balik semula ke airport. Punyalah orang tu tak nak aku naik berat badan tapi macam tak cukup bekas je dia tapow kan kuih2 tu!

Jadi sekarang ni, sesi menyambung kerja2 sebelum cuti nih. >Sigh<
As raya draws nearer, my memory of her serves me better.

In a strange way, I love her. In an unexplainable way, I am capable of loving someone without revealing the very emotion itself. I see respect as a way of showing love, I guess. And I've always respected her till today. She who had everything in her mortal life. My grandmother whom I loved and envied at the same time.

I called her like all Melanau grandchildren call their grandmother - Mak Yeng. When I was a mere child, I feared her. She could scold like anything, and being an easily intimidated child, I dreaded seeing her. She taught me to read Quran, and I learned hard and fervently so she would not scold me. She taught me to wash my own dishes. She scolded as she taught. And I learned well.

As I grew up and she grew frail, she became a more easy-going grandmother who likes to sit down with any of us and tell us of her younger days. It was entertaining to know how she met with grandfather (through arranged marriage), what was the fashion of the day, how did she go through Japanese occupancy, and all other stories she was fond of telling.

Then as time became troubled, and as I spent my teenage years trying to be strong and I then learned to keep my emotion to myself, she incessantly told me to be patient. That all will go well, and I should not concern myself with what is not to be concerned.

'Everything is fated. Let it be.' She explained.

But when she was suddenly taken away from me, I couldn't help but cry. Be it fate, be it anything, I have lost her.

2 years had passed. I still love her. I still pray that I will see her in my dreams. I missed her so. Miss the grandma who chatted about old nostalgia with me, who gave advices when everything around me is falling apart, miss every single thing about her. I love you. I love you, Mak Yeng. I do, I'm telling you now.
Rindu kat seseorang sekarang ni.

Rindu sesangat kat dia.

Adik kecil aku yang paling manja ngan aku.

Kalau aku balik nanti, dia manja lagi tak kat aku? Aku dah lama tak balik. Ingat lagi tak dia kat aku?
Semalam aku gi shopping raya. Bukan untuk aku sendiri, sebab aku tak perlu baju baru, kasut baru, tudung baru ke apa2 yang baru. Aku shopping utk adik-beradik aku. Memang beratus-ratus la abis. Adik2 kecik memang senang sket. Beli je baju yang comel-lote, memang diaorang suka. Maklum la, budak kecik memang suka bergaya (erk, aku tak plak macam tuh. Kecik2 dulu asal suruh pakai baju kurung je meragam... ari raya pakai t-shirt ngan short. Isk2...)

Untuk kakak aku, aku mesej dia. Dia cakap nak handbag. Aku pun belikan dia handbag yang aku rasa lawa. Harap2 dia pun rasa lawa gak, sebab beg tu mahal seh... Pas tu, adik aku yang kat sekolah asrama aku belikan dia beg B.U.M. utk dia bawak gi prep ke, gi outing ke. Adik yang sorang lagi, suka pakai baju lengan panjang so aku belikan baju t-shirt lengan panjang. Untuk mak, aku belikan baju paling mahal yang ala2 Indian style sket design dier. Mesti mak aku suka.

Time belikan baju utk adik2 lelaki aku, aku jadi clueless. Sebab aku tak reti beli pakaian lelaki nih. So aku call adik aku, tanya dia nak baju apa, n adik dia suka baju apa. Adik aku hepi sesangat, dia cakap nak baju t-shirt n adik sorang lagi tu pakai kemeja. Pas tu dia mintak aku belikan seluar. Erk! Ni satu lagi aku tak tau nak agak. Dia pakai saiz apa, adik dia pakai saiz apa. Yang aku tau, adik aku nih kuruih macam orang tu, tapi aku pun tak tau orang tu pakai seluar saiz apa. Amoi tu cakap saiz 29 tak de. Aku pun beli 30. Abis citer. Adik sorang lagi tu seorang footballer. Dia tu bukan setakat tinggi, gagah, macho, malah encem giler.

Memang burnt la duit aku ari tuh. Tapi aku puas sebab bukannya selalu dapat peluang belikan diaorang hadiah. Then lepas ari Sabtu lepas yang aku nyaris2 terlanggar belakang kereta yang berenti mengejut depan aku (seb baik emergency brake menjadi), aku rasa peluang2 tu perlu dimanfaatkan sepenuhnya takut tak de lagi masa2 lain...
Pegi keja naik motor ari nih. Mula2 tak plan pun tapi bila fikir2, esok dah nak kena travel ke KL so aku boleh tinggalkan motor tu kat rumah Jane. Balik dari KL lusa, aku boleh amik balik motor tu. So, aku pun ngan tawakaltu 'alallah, bawak motor gi keja.

Al-hamdulillah, selamat sampai ke opis tanpa kesulitan. Cuma time aku mencelah2 antara lori ngan bas kat satu traffic tu, side mirror terlanggar badan bas tu tapi tak de pape. Polis trafik tengok plet 'L' aku n tak cakap apa2 pun, walhal motor2 lain siap kena check. Tapi memang aku satu2 nya pompuan bawak motor lalu kat situ. Sepanjang aku gi keja naik bas aku memang observe tak de sorang pun pompuan gi sana naik motor AS driver. Pembonceng adalah. Tetiap hari gi keja naik bas aku akan observe laluan motor supaya aku boleh ingat lorong mana aku nak amik, etc.

Akhirnya... :)
Semalam entah camane, aku tak de plan apa2 pun melainkan nak balik rumah n berbuka ngan housemate2 aku. Tetiba seorang exec. masuk n tanya aku,

'Nak ikut berbuka puasa kat hotel tak?'
'Sapa lagi yang ikut?'
'Kamceng2 u semua ikut la - Jane ngan Anne.'
Wah! Dah cukup korum nih! Aku pun setuju.

Kitaorang berbuka kat Eden hotel. Jane, Anne ngan aku naik kereta Anne gi sana. Traffic jam ngan hujan lebat menyebabkan kitaorang sampai bila azan dah berkumandang. Sesampainya kat sana, aiseh... Banyak seh, makanan...

Kitaorang berbuka kat salah satu restoran dalam hotel tu. Buka puasa ala buffet. So diaorang ada banyak gerai n baaanyak pilihan. Gerai daging panggang, kuih-muih, air, ulam2, nasi, lauk-pauk, murtabak, ikan bakar, rojak. Err, macam2 la!

Aku memang awal2 plan tak nak makan banyak sangat sebab sebelum tu, ada sorang manager tu cakap, 'Eh, u bulan puasa ni makin berisi yek?' Isk. Sadisnya! Lepas puasa ni konpem pegi gim nak kurus balik. Tak leh jadi.

Part yang paling best sekali ialah - semua FOC. Exec tu ajak pun b-coz ada satu company yg invite berbuka puasa ngan diaorang :) Among them ada satu couple yang memang cute la depa berdua tu. Ingatkan setakat pakwe makwe. Tapi bila dah main pegang tangan tu, semua kaget. Sampai mamat tu explain, 'Kitaorang baru kawen.' Ooo... begitu citernya. Hehe. Tapi memang wife dia comel la. Putih, kulit halus, n bila dia senyum, semua (tak kira lelaki ke, perempuan ke) terpegun. Hubby dia memang bertuah la dapat wife macam tu.

Balik rumah, penat sesangat. Bukak2 pintu je, alamak! Housemate aku semua tengah makan tomyam. Nak tak nak (nak je, sebenarnya), aku pun join sekali. Tak pe2. Setakat minum sup je tu, tak makan ngan nasi pun! :p