I have three proposals to complete in one day. I completed two of them, then I had to go away for a meeting with Jen & Ainie.

The first half an hour of the meeting was spent listening to Jen & Ainie complaining about Tai Chi Master (refer to Jen's blog). I was dehydrated, my eyes felt dry that I can't hardly open them, and I yawned every 5 minutes.

'Listen guys. What can we do to get the things on track?' I interrupted after a while. I'm sick of feeling helpless. Then I drew an illustration to help me figure out what's going on while I was gone. Sponsorship. Invitation. Organizing.

'The MSAF wants the State to finalize on the budget...' I drew an arrow to connect Invitation with Sponsorship. '... and the State is not helping much. Things can't move if there is no budget...' Another arrow linking Organizing to Sponsorship. Then I circled Sponsorship. Leant back and closed my eyes. Tired.

'We gotta get those...' tried not to use foul language, '...buggers to resolve this issue first. But we shouldn't let other things pending.' Sighed. I really need to show this to the manager. He's not taking a firm stance with the State government and it's making us exasperated.

'Ok. Leave Sponsorship till later. Invitation. MSAF gets to do one thing, but other smaller events, or should I say, the Ground Operations, we need to do something about that. That's the thing.' Jen & Ainie began to contribute ideas and finally we got the meeting to move forward. There are HEAPS of things to do for this major event, and if the *struggle hard not to refer those people as something lowly creatures* can't make up their minds on big decisions, we have to start on the small preparations or we all die as the event rushes at us from around the corner.

I know I can always rely on both of my dear friends to come up with constructive ideas (which they did wonderfully) but I'm feeling doubtful about the indecisive giants. We had had four meetings and all they did is push the job at each other and lastly, ended the meetings with no decisions made (it's really frustrating when the meetings ended with 'we'll discuss that in next meeting').

I mean, yeah. Planning for a good job is one thing. It takes quite some time but when it finally moves, the ball rolls faster & smoothly. But Gawd! Indecisiveness that bottleneck-ing the processes is never going to make the ball rolls at all. And these people are the same ones proposing this stupid program at the very last minute anyway. These indecisive idiots. There. I said it.
Haha!

Baiki kerosakan motor

Masalah: Suker 'pancit' kat traffic light.
Diagnosis: Part2 yg ditukar tuh, ialah barang2 local. Jadi tak tahan lama. Kene tukar alat ganti original. Hampeh. Tipah tertipu lagi.
Solution: Kuar duit lagi... RM215 full termasuk servis, tukar minyak hitam etc.

... Hadiah besday in advance yg paling best seumur hidup aku. Tak penah aku mengeluarkan duit sebanyak tu utk dihadiahkan kat diri-sendiri. Semoga motor aku sihat sejahtera selalu. Macam tuan dier! :p
Pagi nih aku masuk opis lambat sebab motor tak nak idup. Macam tuan dier gak, malas nak gi keje. Hehe. Apa tak nyer, ari nih Trump ada kat opis. Tapi tuan punye motor itu terpaksa gak mengerahkan motor tu ngan tersenggut2 nyer berlari ke opis. Tak sampai pun kat parking lot, motor tu pun terus 'pancit'. Aku pun terus free gear, tolak motor ke parking, dan masuk opis ngan selamba nyer. Dah la lama menghilangkan diri, pas tu datang lambat plak. Huhu...Ader berita baik n berita buruk. Aku tukaq bos lagi. Berita baik. Bos baru tu member gak so ok la tu kot. At least kalau tak puas hati bley jerit2 kat dier supaya jangan bagi keje lagi. Berita buruk, Network admin habaq internet connection akan di 'restrict' kan so kiteorang nyer internet connection pun akan terminated jugak. Ainie tak puas hati. Aku pun sama, tapi aku dah agak dah mesti akan terjadi gak bendalah nih.

So, apa lagi yg aku nak citer aa? Tak de lagi kot. Sebab aku nak balik la. Baik aku gi jogging ke haper. Badan pun dah macam badak mini nih. Muehahahaha!! Orang tu musti heart attack nengok aku yang sehat sejahtera nih nanti. Terus carik awek lain ;p.

Kek batik yang aku buat tuh dapat sambutan hangat di pasaran. Sampai ada pakcik tu komplen ader orang lain dah abiskan kuih tu, tak sempat dier rasa. Suruh aku buat lagi. Hehehe. Mintak resepi bley tahan lagi, mintak buat lagi tuh yang haru... Aper pun, tima kaseh bebanyak! N tolong basuh bekas kuih tu sekali ek? Erk. Jen on the way nak merasa kuih tu. Aku luper nak bagitau dah abish. Sorry Jen! :p
There is something magical about the town where I grew up. It's the feeling I get whenever I walk down the road leading to my house, how the trees that lined up the road bent forward to invent an arch 'tunnel' for me to pass. One of these days, I would take the opportunity to sit down in the middle of the road and just enjoy the scene of perfect serenity. Away, away from life's confusion. Back to where my memory is stored of my carefree days. Of childhood laughter, childhood adventure, and childhood best friend.

I spent the first few days not really 'home', the after-effect of work I guess. I even dreamed that I ended my hols 3 days before I was supposed to come back for work. I would talk and laugh, but there's a somehow faraway, dazed look on my face. My mother complained that I wasn't being attentive enough. I wasn't paying attention because I was confused of the sudden transition of life.

Then there are the screams of laughter from my sisters. I have no choice but to join in their childish games. To run around, to tickle each other into roars of laughter, to feed them before they run off to school and school, never really changed.

Then in between time, I would spend endless hours in the kitchen with my mom. Believe me, I was brought up in the kitchen. When I was two, my mom dropped something that scarred my scalp coz I was lying at her feet, drinking milk out of my bottle. The kitchen means more than the blending of flavours and herbs and spices, but a place where stories and memories blended together as well. Where I learned my ancestry, my surroundings, and also, of course, mom's recipes.

I honestly confess that I don't know how to cook (Yes Jen, don't give me that disbelief look. I don't know how to cook). I know how to heat the wok, and to put in what ingredients at what time, but to know how to cook, is the ability beyond my knowledge. You know how to cook when you know what to do if something goes wrong, or how to adjust the flavor, or how to come up with something new for the tastebuds. Best still, when you know what ingredients are put into the dish to make up the flavor. I don't know any of these.

So I help mom in the kitchen while trying to sort out how future looks like. I find cooking time as thinking time. This is when my mind is neatly divided into two - to concentrate on my next action whether my hand hovers for the soy ketchup, or for the chilli paste; and to sort out my confused thoughts. Confusion, is how I live life. In the kitchen, I would debate life philosophy with my mother.

'See mom, what is the purpose of life? What is it that I need to do in order to find the path to heaven?'

The path to heaven is a phrase that Jen coined some time ago. It made me think hard of my life direction, and I swear to God, I still feel clueless. I don't think that this holiday alone would help me to find the answers.

I am going to Miri tomorrow to meet my sister. My lucky, lucky sister whose boyfriend has just moved to Miri to be near her. Some people have no need to figure out what to do. It's already laid out in front of their eyes. Maybe, I philosophically think, I am just too busy pondering on it to notice how life scheme is spread in front of me too.
Islam sangat memuliakan darjat seorang wanita. Bertuahnya aku dilahirkan sebagai seorang wanita...

1. Doa perempuan lebih makbul daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayang yang lebih kuat daripada lelaki. Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulullah akan hal tersebut, jawab baginda, "Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan doa orang yang penyayang tidak akan sia-sia".

2. Apabila seseorang perempuan mengandung janin dlm rahimnya, maka beristighfarlah para malaikat untuknya. Allah mencatatkan baginya setiap hari dgn 1,000 kebajikan dan menghapuskan darinya 1,000 kejahatan.

3. Apabila seseorang perempuan mula sakit hendak bersalin, maka Allah mencatatkan baginya pahala orang yang berjihad pada jalan Allah.

4. Apabila seseorang perempuan melahirkan anak, keluarlah dia dari dosa-dosa seperti keadaan ibunya melahirkanya.

5. Apabila telah lahir anak lalu disusui, maka bagi ibu itu setiap satu tegukan daripada susunya diberi satu kebajikan.

6. Apabila semalaman ibu tidak tidur dan memelihara anaknya yang sakit, maka Allah memberinya pahala seperti memerdekakan 70 hamba dengan ikhlas untuk membela agama Allah.

7. Barangsiapa yang menggembirakan akan perempuannya, darjatnya seumpama orang yang sentiasa menangis kerana takutkan Allah dan orang yang takutkan Allah akan diharamkan api neraka ke atas tubuhnya.

8. Barangsiapa membawa hadiah, (barang makan dari pasar ke rumah)lalu diberikan kepada keluarganay, maka pahalanya seperti bersedekah. Hendaklah mendahulukan anak perempuan daripada anak lelaki. Maka barangsiapa yang menyukakan anak perempuan seolah-olah dia memerdekakan anak Nabi Ismail.

9. Tiap perempuan yang menolong suaminya dalam urusan agama,maka Allah memasukkan dia ke dalam syurga lebih dahulu daripada suaminya (10,000 tahun)

10. Perempuan apabila sembahyang lima waktu, puasa bulan Ramadhan,memelihara kehormatannya serta taat akan suaminya, masuklah dia dari pintu syurga mana sahaja yang dikehendaki.

11.Wanita yang solehah (baik) itu lebih baik daripada 1,000 lelaki yang soleh.

12.Aisyah berkata, "Aku bertanya kepada Rasulullah, siapakah yang lebih besar haknya terhadap wanita?? Jawab Rasulullah,"Suaminya." "Siapa pula berhak terhadap lelaki?" Jawab Rasulullah, "Ibunya".

13.Apabila memanggil akan engkau dua orang ibubapamu, maka jawablah panggilan ibumu dahulu.

14.Wanita yang taat akan suaminya, ikan-ikan di laut, burung di udara, malaikat di langit, matahari dan bulan semua beristighfar baginya selama mana dia taat kepada suaminya serta menjaga sembahyang dan puasanya.

15. Wanita yang taat berkhidmat kepada suaminya akan tertutup pintu-pintu neraka dan terbuka pintu-pintu syurga.Masuklah dari mana-mana pintu yang di kehendaki dengan tidak dihisab.

16. Syurga itu dibawah tapak kaki ibu.

17. Wanita yang tinggal bersama anak-anaknya akan tinggal bersama aku (Nabi s.a.w) di dalam syurga.

18. Barangsiapa mempunyai tiga anak perempuan atau tiga saudara perempuan atau dua anak perempuan atau dua saudara perempuan lalu dia bersikap ihsan dalam pergaulan dengan mereka dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh rasa takwa serta bertanggungjawab, maka baginya syurga.

19. Daripada Aisyah r.a. Barangsiapa yang diuji dengan sesuatu daripada anak-anak perempuannya, lalu berbuat baik kepada mereka, maka mereka akan menjadi penghalang baginya daripada api neraka.

Sebenarnya, kekuatan lelaki adalah disebabkan kasih sayang wanita. Itulah salah satu sebab mengapa Nabi meletakan wanita setaraf pada lelaki dan tidak lebih rendah.

Allah berfirman di dalam Surah An-Nisaa' ayat 34:

"Kaum lelaki adalah pemimpin bagi wanita, kerana Allah telah melebihkan orang lelaki atas wanita, dan juga kerana orang lelaki telah membelanjakan dari harta mereka. Maka wanita yang salih itu ialah yang taat (kepada Allah dan suaminya), dan yang memelihara dirinya ketika suami tidak hadir bersama, dengan pemeliharaan Allah. Dan wanita-wanita yang kamu bimbang melakukan nusyuz hendaklah kamu menasihati mereka, dan pulaukanlah mereka di tempat tidur, dan pukullah mereka. Kemudian jika mereka taatkanmu, maka janganlah kamu mencari jalan untuk menyusahkan mereka. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Tinggi, lagi Maha Besar. "

Jadi terbukti kaum lelaki memikul tanggungjawab yang besar sebagai suami dan pemimpin. Disebabkan lelakilah yang diiktiraf sebagai pemimpin, maka Allah melarang wanita Islam daripada berkahwin dengan lelaki Yahudi / Nasrani (tetapi lelaki Islam dibolehkan berkahwin dengan wanita dari golongan ahli kitab). Mungkin ayat ini bertujuan memelihara akidah wanita daripada mentaati suami yang berlainan pegangan.

Oleh sebab suami ialah pemimpin kepada isterinya yang wajib ditaati, therefore lelaki hendaklah mempunyai sifat-sifat kepimpinan atau mempelajari sifat-sifat tersebut. Hal ini penting untuk kesejahteraan dan terpeliharanya iman dan akidah keluarganya.

Akhir sekali, Allah berfirman di dalam Surah At-Taubah ayat 23,

"Wahai orang yang beriman! Janganlah kamu menjadikan bapa-bapa kamu dan saudara-saudaramu sebagai pemimpin jika mereka memilih kufur atas iman; dan sesiapa di antara kamu yang menjadikan mereka pemimpin, maka merekalah orang yang zalim. "

Wallahu'alam. Pesanan kepada para suami, jadilah suami yang soleh, menjaga akidahnya dan menyuruh anak dan isteri menjaga akidah mereka kerana keluargamu ialah tanggungjawab dan amanahmu yang paling besar :)

-Untuk terjemahan Al-Quran & hadis yang lain, sila kunjungi laman web http://quranjakim.islam.gov.my -

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Synopsis:
The Crusades were one of the bloodiest conflicts waged between the West and the Middle East. It is in the time of the Crusades of the 12th Century that Jerusalem comes under attack. Balian of Ibelin (Orlando Bloom), a blacksmith, must now rise and lead his people in an effort to protect themselves from the crusading invaders.

More reviews: Cinema Online

- citer nih macam best la. Some more, pelakon dier Orlando Bloom yg aku minat giler dalam citer 'Lord of The Rings' (hehe. Aku suke citer2 epik nih!) Nak gi tengok... sapa nak ikut?-
Rabu. 2 hari lagi. Khamis. 1 hari lagi. Jumaat. Besoknya. Sabtu. Balik kampung!

Gumbira ke tak gumbira? Gumbira la :) Peluang melarikan diri dari penjara keja nih sepatutnya dimanfaatkan sepenuhnya. Aktiviti balik kampung akan diisi dengan bersembang2 ngan mak aku, bermain ngan adik-adik aku, and bersiar2 ngan kakak aku ngan keta Kelisanya tu. Huhu... Kakak dah bagi green light aku bawak keta dier nanti, so tak sabar2 nak cuba try test keta dier :)

Abby, kawan Chipsmore aku (bukannya sebab dier kejap ada kejap tak de, tapi sebab dulu kitaorang penah try wat biskut chocolate chips yg sedap) dah sibuk nak buat plan nak jumpa. Yelah, dah hampir dua tahun tak jumpa maa. Aku balik Swak bukan balik kat hometown, tapi balik kampung. N dah lama gak la aku menghilangkan diri dari Bumi Kenyalang tuh. Memang tak patut...

Sebenarnya, bila sebut pasal balik nih, aku mesti jadi fening2 sket. Satu, duit abis giler2 la nak beli tiket. Kedua, bila aku dah bersemangat sampai kat tanah pusaka tercinta, soklan pertama orang tanya,

'Waah, orang Johor dah sampai...'

Moi? Johorean? Excuse moi?? Tapi begitulah hakikatnya. Bila aku di sini, orang gelar aku 'budak Sarawak'. Kalau aku dah kat sana, orang gelar aku 'orang Johor'. Hinhs. Masing2 tak nak mengaku aku nih warganegara depa. Hampeh la.

OK la. Arinih angin lagi kat Chairman. Sejak akhir2 nih, Chairman selalu buat aku naik angin. Semalam sebab dier sepatutnya fax layout plan kat satu kompeni plasma tv nih hari Isnin lepas, tapi dier tak buat. Bila aku mintak dier fax cepat2 sket coz depa dah mintak, sorang exec nih plak naik angin sebab dier cakap aku ganggu Chairman siapkan keja depa. Hampeh. Takkan aku suka2 suruh Chairman buat kalau tak kerana tu keja dier?? Last2 aku tarik muka masam, aku cakap, 'Yelah, I buat.' Chairman tak bersuara pun. Walhal tu keja dier. Bengang tak? Nak wat camane. Nilah 'teamwork'. (Teamwork sangat la....)

Arinih plak, Chairman tak buat lagi minit meeting hari Isnin jugak. Manager dah suruh antor arinih. Bila aku tanya,

'Chairman, dah buat tak minit tu?'
'Tak lagi. Kena hantar arinih ke?'

Aku dah malas nak layan. 'Biar I je buat.' Aku jawab ringkas. Lepas nih aku tak nak wat keja 'teamwork' lagi. Banyak energy terbuang tensen ngan team mate tak wat keja. Besa la, macam wat assignment kat uni dulu. Aku memang pantang teammate tak buat keja assignment. Sama ada aku sound masa meeting, or aku blacklist nama dier dari group assgt aku seterusnya. Quality control maah. Satu lagi nak jaga persahabatan. Jangan sebab assignment dah tak bertegur-sapa lagi lepas tuh. That's why aku ngan kawan baik aku, Agath jarang sama group assignment. Kitaorang ada different style of tackling our assignments.

Lastly, tak sabar nye nak balik!!!
I shouldn't have drink coffee. Dammit. I shouldn't have drink coffee. I'm at the risk of jumping down people's throat any second now. Anybody who pissed me off. At the current mood, anything can make me pissed off.

It's about to be the. time. of. the. month. and I drink. coffee. Any crimes I am capable of doing later, is not my fault. I want to make it clear here.

I shouldn't have drink coffee. Confounded it!
There was a light in me.

I stuck the note on my workstation, and briefly read it. Subtlety is always appreciated. To the ignorants, it is a positive statement. It means I am happy. To the observants, it is open for interpretations I won't be bothered to explain here.

There was another meeting on that program again. When everybody has finished presenting their parts, the Chairman of the meeting said,

'I think right now we need to present this to Trump this Monday. Who would do that?'

Even when the words escaped his mouth, he was looking pointedly at me, the Chairman and Jen. We shifted our eyes. It's pathetic, really. When we first came, we were a bunch of high-spirited fresh grads, and not even a year into our job, we are reduced to being shifty-eyed, weary people (and wary of any dumping of work on our shoulder).

The Chairman of the meeting is a wise man, one of the pioneer in the company. He took the hint and said, 'I will present the proposal myself, then.'

I accepted that without feeling guilty. I knew exactly what are their perceptions on me - unfriendly, highly antagonistic, arrogant and uncooperative. What they don't and fail to see, is that I am so tired that I have withdrawn into a shell where I seek shelter from their endless bullets. And wait for the time we can spread our wings and fly away.

For that, I wrote this poem:

The spirit that was born inside of me
On the day it emerged, laughing freely
My spirit sang a joyful song
I am free, I am strong.

The spirit that was born inside of me
Carried a torch of life
It burned bright even in the face of adversity
Full of energy in every strife.

Alas, the spirit that was born inside of me,
Took the last blow and battered, it crawled
Into a shelter to lie and weepingly
It told me as it recalled
There was a light in me
That showed my way
There was a song in me
That made me stay
My spirit told me in its last breath
There was a light in me.

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La nih aku wat keje sampingan sbb cuti 3 hari, aku tak nak buat keje opis. So aku pun offer nak tolong Junaidix design index page web corporate dier. Jadi, aku come up with this layout, siap ngan penerangan sekali. Hehe. So aku harap dier terimapakai la design nih ;)

Anyway, hari nih memang tak best langsung. Aku dah berpindah ke department lain. Bila aku bagitau bos department tu, dier tanya aku nak masuk unit mana. Aku baru nak bukak mulut cakap nak masuk department yg aku dah aim sbb aku tak nak bawah Golden Arch, bila Chairman tetiba menyampuk,

'Golden Arch nyer department...'

Terus bos aku setuju. Time tu, aku rasa macam nak telan je Chairman. Dier saje nak buat lawak la tuh, tapi tau2 dah accepted! Bukan sebulan, 5 bulan maah!!

Aku marah giler kat Chairman sepanjang hari nih. Sampaikan dier nak tolong aku pindahkan barang2 dari opis lama ke opis baru sbb dier rasa bersalah pun aku tak nak. Balik tu, entah kenapa geram sangat kot, menitis air mata masa bawak motor. Tau2 dah nak terlanggar divider tepi jalan... Huhu... Sedey aa...

Begitulah nasib aku. Nak buat camaner.