A Final Ode For Merahzeous
For W. H.

Thank you.
For once upon a time,
You were part of my life.
Even if, all I have now is a blur-
Fragment of the mirror.

And though the glass may cut me,
As I hold it- nevermind.

To bleed will remind me that I am human.
That you are human.

Cuts turn to scars.
Scars are memories.
And memories last forever.

So thank you.

Thank you for the memories.

Majidah Hashim

-Magic could have not written a more poignant poem than this. Sorry, Magic. I republish your poem in my blog without your permission. Magic has captured every essence of my emotions in her poem. I am not angry, or accusing, or sorry for what have happened. I simply feel thankful that I was given the chance. To love and be loved in return. To feel the happiness, and the hurt. To know someone sweet and kind like him. I thank God for making him part of me.-

-Bolehkah aku merakamkan semua kenangan ni dalam memori? Tawanya, senyumnya, suaranya? Sebab aku tahu suatu hari nanti dia akan meninggalkan aku. Aku ingin mengenangnya sebagai orang yang membuatkan aku gembira selalu. My heart beats. Of tu et je.- My Diary.
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Aku terasa lucu tengok gambar kat atas tuh. Betapa berbezanya konsep dating antara dunia Barat ngan dunia Timur. Member aku yang dah kawen plak bagi pendapat sendiri.

'This is a bad image of us (the Moslems).'
'Why?' Aku dah curious. Yelah, aku rasa ok je kot, sebab tunjuk betapa bersopan-santun dan beradabnya kalau gi dating macam couple dari Timur tu.
'Bcoz it shows that WE don't know how to love. It shows that WE only know how to procreate, without love. People looking at this photo would say that WE are incapable of showing love at all.'
'But if they show the behind-the-closed-door scene, then it's DISNEYLAND.' Dia mengakhiri pendapatnya. Aku tergelak.

Kesimpulannya, orang yang dah kawen (dia) ngan orang yang tak kawen lagi (aku) tengok sesuatu perkara dari perspektif yang berbeza. Memang interesting jugak.

-P/S: No comment! :p-
Norah Jones' song playing in the background. Teddy bear sprawled next to my pc. A self-made card stuck on the glass panel. A list of tasks, completed.

I'll say. I feel like having blueberry cheesecake right now. But I'm on diet. I just took a cup of slimming tea (yucck!) to prove it. Oh yeaah, it's working alrite. Kalau tak, buat penat je aku ulang-alik ke toilet tengah2 malam.

It's all Jen's fault for my craving for blueberry cheesecake. Earlier, she emailed to me a few images of tempting-looking slices of cheesecake (NOTE: Delicious...)

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- Nyum... -
Talking about Jen remind me that I have to find an alternative software to the one I evaluated yesterday.

'Carneyz, how's the software? Can we use it or not?''
'I don't advise so la. Mark (IT admin) told us that Microsoft is not going to support Foxpro in the near future.''
'I see. So we have to look for another software la?''
'Yup. Software that uses ASP. Besides,it only do basic functions. I asked whether it can generate auto sales report, or show plan layout, he said it cannot do so.''
'Can you find out for me?''
'Err. I'll ask Jen.' Jen, the solution provider.

The tea is working. My stomach is hurting, and so's my feet. Walking all day wearing high heels showing clients empty lots is not easy an task. How nice it is right now, toes curled, barefooted. I don't mind though. The more I walk, the more calories I burn. Except that my feet hurt. Darn it, the price you have to pay to feel beautiful (hehe, nobody ever said I look beautiful, so it's only sufficient to feel beautiful).

Hopefully, I mused to myself, when I move nearer to my office, I can go jogging 3 or 4 times in a week (wah cik kak! Bersemangatnyer nak kurus! @->-) Or play tennis. Somebody promised to teach me how to play tennis :) Kewl.

Yup. Badak biru on diet.

-Selamat Pengantin Baru kat Mediha @ Maverix! Semoga berbahagia dunia & akhirat bersama suami :) -

To Aizuddin , sorry I 'cilok' ur pix. Thanks anyway!
God. The amount of work my boss gave me.For 3 days, I had to attend training & seminar, and in between, I squeezed in some time to clear the tasks he set. Including coming into office last weekend. And yet, it's still mounting.

Weddings, weddings, and more weddings. Weddings are a great dilemma to me. You have to fulfill the invitation. No questions about that. Oh, but...

... to eat? or not to eat? How much to eat in order to avoid piling up on the weight after that?

... should I take chicken, beef or mutton? Two ladles of rice, or just one? Or half?

... oh, don't forget about the gift. What to give??

The best idea is to visualize MYSELF getting the gifts. However, right now all I can think is getting a. laptop, b. PDA. If only I have the money :p

My sister is coming this weekend and I promised to bring her shopping for 'all that striped blouses you want for cheaper price.' Not sure about the cheaper price part. But I think it's going to be fun meeting my sister again.

I have lots of things going on this week. I dunno what to write. Or rather, I'm not in the mood to write anything. I am definitely not in the mood of blogging of late. Or meby bcoz my boss is constantly checking on me ('Carneyz? Have you done that?' 'Carneyz, that tasks...?') I feel a bit harassed by those constant reminders. Honestly. I'm suffocating!

Still, it's better than not having anything to do. We have training today, and somebody took the opportunity to bash at us (or me), and I got even in the afternoon session. Life is wonderful.

OK. I simply run out of idea what to say. Just maybe, wanna say Happy Birthday to Mat Pae & Fiza. Rindu la kat hang, Fiza... My buddy when I went jogging etc. etc.

Left with nothing else to mention, I say. Thanks to everyone who baked me a cake, gave me birthday gifts, spent lovely time with me :) My phone inbox is full of birthday wishes. Thanks for those messages!
Bila aku tengok iklan BlueHyppo, aku sekalu gelakkan dier. Ader2 aje telatah Badak Biru yang malang tu. Tapi bila aku plak dah jadi BlueHyppo, kesian kat dier. Especially bila BlueHyppo tuh terjatuh dan dihempap oleh motor kesayangannya. Huhu...! Haru-biru lebam kat kaki sebab kena hempap motor. Pagi tadi bila aku masuk opis ngan terpencot2, sumer orang tanya apsal. Siap komen, 'Minah nih, tak abis2 eksiden...'

I have a love-hate relationship with my bike. I love my bike, but my bike hates me. Tak abis2 menyakitkan hati aku, tapi sebab aku dah sayang, jadi relakan jelah... Tapi sejak kebelakangan nih, aku dah semakin tawar hati ngan motor kesayanganku tuh, sebab walaupun kasih sayang aku curahkan macam air mata air kuar dari bumi, tapi motor tuh tetap suka melukakan hati aku. Jadi, walaupun aku sayang macam nak rak kat motor tuh, aku mungkin terpaksa melupakan dier dan mencari alternatif lain yang boleh bagi ketenangan dan kegembiraan semata-mata di hati.

Mungkin motor aku akan lebih gembira ngan orang lain sebab dier tak suka tuannya sekarang yang suka memecut laju2. Mungkin jugak antara motor aku ngan aku tak de keserasian. Tapi apapun, dier tetap motor kesayanganku selalu, motor pertama yang aku miliki.

... Ceh! Baru kene hempap motor sket, dah jiwang giler. Balik la, gi tengok Madagascar!