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Kak Eyna, Chairman & Azlan busy buat preparation mcm nak raya plak...

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Muka orang dah keletihan. Uwaa!! Bila nak abis set up nih??

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Hujan warna-warni masa opening ceremony, mcm ujan ais kat Selangor tuh.
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Booth girls of the day...

Nilah some of the pictures yang kiteorang amik masa kat exhibition tu. Letih giler la nak wat preparation & nak jaga booth. Hari Jumaat, balik rumah je... pap! Hilang dari dunia ini... terus ke alam mimpi. Too exhausted. Hari Sabtu, baru je nak gi ke tempat exhibition, Kak Eyna called, mintak tolong print 500 keping brochure sebab brochure dah abis. Dari tengahari sampai closing pukul 10 mlm, kiteorang jaga booth.

Apa2 pun, agak puas hati sebab everything went well & high co-operations from everyone :) Hari Ahad plak, merayau2 kat pesta konvo utm. Just beli tudung (cheap!) and the rest, nak tunggu last day baru nak gi survey balik kot2 harga dah turun ;)

Setelah bertungkus-lumus macam nak rak ala2 dlm tv program The Apprentice tu, akhirnya & ngan leganya, design pun siap 100%. Siap aje design, terus ict datang uninstall Photoshop kat pc aku. Uwaaa!!! My one & only penghibur duka lara, Photoshop CS...

Anyway, inilah hasilnya :) ...


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My favourite amongst all. In fact, sumer yg tengok voted this as the one they like the most (aaawww.... thank u for ur vote! Susah2 aje... Tak payah abiskan kredit utk saya... :p) However, ngan jujurnya aku mengatakan aku just main tampal2 je, but the idea belongs to Mr. Chairman Sir. Mr. Chairman, go & collect ur award kat atas pentas. Silakan, silakan...


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Ini design yg plg ekspres. Sebabnya, paling last minute before hantar ke printing. Tupun sbb aku dah panik, n ckp, 'ah, tampal2 je macam kat soft board tu!' Last2, memang tampal2 mcm kat soft board pun! Siap ada nota kat situ :p Script writer -- erm. Yang pasti bukan aku!


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Erm. Tak minat sangat yg nih. Cuma suka tulisan sanskrit tu aje. Masa nih idea dah kering. Script pun ntah apa2. Last one...


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Paling 'cikai'.

Semalam kiteorang sumer gi set up booth kat venue. Aku ngan Kak Eyna pun kena mengangkat barang2 gak. By the time nak Maghrib, aku dah terduduk lesu kat kerusi. Tak larat seyy... Nasib baik Shah dah belikan air utk kiteorang sumer. Masuk waktu je, aku teguk air tin sampai abis! Gila2 haus la... Bila dah berbuka, baru ada tenaga nak gelak2 bila Kak Eyna, Azlan & Shah buat lawak. Asal ngan dieorang je, mesti sampai terduduk nak gelak. Punye la kecoh dieorang nih. Hehe. Abis set up booth dalam pukul 9.00 mlm. Lepas tu, balik. Aku bawak kereta Kak Eyna sebab husband dia dtg amik dia. Sampai rumah, macam dah nak tercabut kepala lutut. Penat sesangat.

Dah abis event nih karang aku citer plak pasal booth kiteorang. Pagi, Kak Eyna, Laila, Ungku, Chairman & aku jaga booth. Petang, the rest (Azlan, Shah, Abg TJ, Azim -- hehe. Bukan nama sebenar). Dah tak larat... :p Saja je nak tunggu abis opis hour, nak balik. Tido!

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Aisehmen. Shy2 cat je, tak nak tengok kamera... :p Kemain lagi nampak cam busy giler, siap 3 pen berterabur atas meja & kertas2 berselerak. Muahaha! Tak de apa2 pun. Jadi orang jaga kaunter registration jerk :p

Semalam kiteorang organize forum for travel agents. Mula2 bos tak kasi aku pegi. Dia suruh tolong Azlan amend something. Then Chairman lalu. 'Wey, u tak pegi?' dia tanya aku. Aku pandang Azlan, Azlan pandang aku.

'I got work la... Bos suruh tolong Azlan,' aku explained. 'Ko buli dier ke?' Chairman soal Azlan balik. Azlan bangun, nak kasi pelempang main2 kat Chairman. 'Apa ko kata??' Dia dok balik.

'Tak pelah... Kalau ko nak gi, pegi jelah. Kalau bos tanya, cakap aku nak setel sendiri bendalah nih.' Azlan dengan baik hatinya suruh aku pegi. So aku pun ikut Chairman, Kak Eyna & Abg TJ gi ke Mutiara Hotel. On the way, Big Boss suruh kiteorang singgah kat restoran kat Larkin. Ajak makan nasi padang. Sepatutnya aku pose, tapi takkan la orang lain makan, aku sorang2 je wat tak tau, kan? So aku pun pecah pose :p Hehe. Boss belanja mah...

Ramai jugak la yang turned up for the event. Sebenarnya, forum tu sekejap je. Tak sampai 3 jam dah abis. Big Boss cuma bagi speech, sesi Q&A then makan2. Bila sumer agent dah balik, kemas2 dewan, & then blah juge :) Sampai kat opis pukul 5 pm. Tu pun tak setel lagi, sebab Jumaat nih ada Matta Fair kat Eden. Yang tu pening kepala sket sebab GH expect Biz Dev buat, vice versa. Last2 aku rasa, baik la aku je yg co-ordinate bendalah nih. Kak Eyna & Chairman kene revise pamphlet, then aku kene carik info, liaise ngan department berkenaan, etc.

Balik dalam kul 10pm, sebab sambung tolong si Azlan tu ngan form2 dier. Huhu...! Sampai2 rumah, fed up betul sbb air sket je... :( Hampeh betul. Bila la nak ok balik water supply kat area kiteorang nih.

Weekend - is never spent at home. Imagine staying at home for the whole week, and the whole weekend... I could go crazy with boredom. So weekend is the only time I could really indulge in myself & unwind after a stressful week.

Half of Saturday was wasted because of the rainy weather. As soon as the rain became just drizzle, I couldn't wait anymore. Smsed Eva, asking to meet her somewhere, then got on my bike & rode to my old place.

Nothing is more enjoyable than spending time with my bestest friend. We went on a window shopping spree, trying on clothes JFF (just for fun). Tak beli pun! After doing a quick mental calculation on how much sushi I could eat without going busted, we indulged ourselves in sushi. Sake is my favourite (raw salmon). Extra wasabi, extra sauce & yummy! I just luuuuurrrvveee sushi...

I know some people gets put off at the idea of trying sushi because they think all of sushi are made of raw ingredients. Wrong. Only some of them are raw, like raw salmon. Others, like omelette on the glutinous rice wrapped in seaweed, or crabstick, or even fish cake, are not raw at all.

As if that's not enuff, I suddenly had a craving for blueberry chocolate cake....
So we dropped by at Secret Recipe, the best cake deli (err, izit a deli?) in the country. Disappointingly, there's no blueberry chocolate cake There's blueberry cheesecake, though, but I'm not in the mood to eat cheese cake. I was already drooling at the thot of blueberry jam... oooohhh... so nice...

So we settled for blackforest gateau instead (gateau, in French, means cake). We shared a piece of the cake as none of us can finish one slice by ourselves.

Mouth-watering, rite?

At night, we made plans to go to Danga Bay.

Despite feeling guilty at eating so much on Saturday, that did not stop me from ordering nasi bubur (u have to try nasi bubur Sentosa - they are really delicious). A bowl of steaming plain rice porridge served with fried onion & chilies, fried kangkung, salted fish (the main reason I'm such a big fan of bubur nasi), salted egg (another gob-smacking good reason), fried ikan bilis, and peanuts. Not forgetting, sambal goreng. Soooooooo irresistible! Try complementing that with diet Coke. It blends so well :p East meets West thingy.

After strolling around, talking nineteen to the dozens, we decided to call it a day & go back home. Luckily, Sunday I didn't feel like EATING so much! Klu tak, hancuss my diet!
Hari nih dah selamat pindah ke department baru. Sempat lagi last minute kena bawak gi tour around perimeter, naik land rover. Fascinating. Then, aku balik opis & kemas barang untuk angkut gi opis baru. Tak de la susah sangat, sebab aku just angkut pc, & stationery. Buku2, dokumen sumer aku tinggalkan aje.

First day je aku dah kelam-kabut. Since esok cuti, bos nak pamphlet design ready by today gak. Chairman pun kena sekali, gelabah check invitation dah setel ke tak for Monday event. Bengang sket kat dia sebab tengahari dier tinggalkan je presentation yang tak siap, gi praktis bowling. Aku kena take over, setelkan bendalah tu sementara dia gi main bowling. Hampeh. Bila dah fed up sangat, aku pun hantar mesej - 'Wey, u balik kul baper? i dah terguling2 buat keja u nih.'

Last2, dah setel everything, mak cik aku plak call, nak mintak aku check tiket AirAsia gi Sibu ada lagi ke tak, sebab cousin nak balik besok. Tak jadi balik awal. Huhu...! aku dah la tak sabar2 nak nengok citer Full House!

Wey, bila training nak abis nih??

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Sekarang nih, pukul 8.30 mlm je aku dah tercongok depan tv. Tgk citer nih 'Full House'. Best giler la! Aku nih dah la bukan hantu tv, tetiba je boleh melekat tgk citer nih :p Malam semalam citer nih dah semakin 'serius'. Hero & heroin dah bercerai, tapi dieorang still suka each other. Tapi malam nih, hero tu nak propose balik kat heroin nih, so hehe, tak boleh miss la ;) 8.30 mlm je, aku kompem nak tengok.

Sinopsis citer tu:


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Terasa nak beli cd citer nih. Ada 16 episod sumernye. Kalau tengok citer nih, mesti gelak bersungguh2. Hilang tension woo... Tapi ex-housemate aku cakap cd dier tak de subtitle :( Huhu... Lagipun dekat RM100 gak la. Klu nak tengok, tak de vcd player. Uwaa!! Miskinnya aku!

Apa2pun, memang citer yang best...

Lepas tengok citer nih, takde apa nak buat. Bilik dah kemas. Kemas rumah je la. Did laundry. Dah setel, baru masuk bilik. Bosan giler... Bila dapat msg, waliow! Excited giler...

'Smile owez :) U dun want the next prince to see u looking teary-eyed & sad... so smile owez'

Cukup membuatkan aku tido ngan senyuman. Hopefully, one of these days I will dream of my prince (where art thou?) & I together, like the picture above, head on his shoulder, watching the sun goes down :) Ah, mimpi je...

Pepagi lagi Chairman dah hantar mesej,

'When u going to GH'

Peh... naper? Orang kat GH dah panggil ke? Bila aku datang nak tengok kat mane tempat aku, sumer dieorang tengah wat malu2 kucing.

'Akak, saya nak report ke GH nih. Where am I going to sit?' aku tanya kat Kak Eyna.

'You've got two choice, either share tempat ngan Chairman, atau kat hujung tu,' she pointed at the corner of the room.

'Or with me,' ada suara yg berkata. Aku buat2 tak dengar.
'Kat hujung sana la, kak. Mana2 je, tak kisah...'

'Azim cakap, dia nak dok ngan you...' Kak Eyna usik. Just buat muka bodoh, tanya kat Azim,
'Kenapa nak dok ngan kite?' Budak2 GH yg lain dah gelak. 'Dia tanya kenapa...'

'Azim, Carneyz cakap dier tak suka dok ngan orang smoking...' Kak Eyna bagitau mamat tu. 'A'ah.' Aku angguk kepala.

'Oh, klu mcm tu, esok saya berenti merokok...' Sekali lagi depa gelak ramai2. 'Sanggup tu...'

Ah, sudah la aku lepas nih... Tapi Jen cakap dieorang ok. Suka menyakat je. Alah, klu boleh survive masuk Engineering, takkan GH tak boleh? Hehe. Caiyok2!
Seperti malam2 sebelumnya, dah abis je drama tu pukul 9.30 mlm, aku tutup tv & masuk bilik. Belek2 magazine dalam 15 minit. Siap rekod masa belek magazine. Result, purata masa belek magazine dari kulit ke kulit memang tak lebih 15 minit. Sapalah ngajar aku baca dengan lajunya nih.

Malam semalam, tak de entry baru dalam diari. Tak de baju nak dilipat. Bilik dah kemas. Baju dah iron. Kira petak kat siling. Belek2 buku pulak.

Terasa nak sms orang plak. Orang yang mula2 aku nak sms ialah... dia. Tapi. Ahhhh..... hmmm... not a good idea. Siang tadi pun dia busy. Malam, mesti busy jugak. Lagipun, takut nak kacau dia. Takut dia rimas. Takut kredit dia abis. Takut aku akan sentiasa bergantung kat dia lepas tu. Macam2 perasaan takut. Akhirnya tak jadi. Ada suara dalam diri yang remind aku - whatever had happened between both of you, it was in the past. Forget about it. You're no one special to him now.

Yep. Betul jugak. Ok la. Aku batalkan hasrat tu. Mencari nama lain dalam phone book hp. Tetiba terjumpa nama lain yg buatkan dahi aku berkerut. Teringat balik time 2nd year, 3rd year & finally, 4th year yg bersejarah. Gile... Suke gelak terbahak2 ngan dia. Time ada problem, suka sembang2 ngan dia. Penah study sesama, buat assignment sesama & merepek2 sesama. Kalau ada apa2 yg buat aku gembira, dia antara yang pertama aku carik untuk share the news.

Walaupun dia ramai peminat, aku sikit pun tak penah ada perasaan kat dia. Sabar menunggu lelaki senegeri. Sebab tu, aku je yg jadi kaunselor nasihatkan dia pasal psikologi perempuan. Bila dia tanya bila nak ada 'abe', aku jawab, 'Bila jumpa abe Sarawak la. Dah, jangan tanya soklan merepek2. Aku smack down karang!' Then 4th year, tetiba ada krisis yang aku tak boleh maafkan. Kesudahannya, dia jadi kawan biasa, tak lagi kamceng rapat. Aneh, camane rapat pun kiteorang, tak penah sekalipun kuar sesama. Setakat jumpa kat kelas, kat fakulti, kat kawasan apartmen aku dulu. Tupun beramai2 ngan member2 yg lain.

So malam semalam aku hantar msg kat dia. Simple, mcm tiap2 kali aku antar msg dulu - 'A'kum. wey, aku tgh sedih la :( Cuba ko citer, camane nak buat aku hepi?'

Tak sangka plak dier reply. 'Ko jangan fikir sangat la pasal tu. Keluar ngan member2, jangan dok sorang2 je.' Tak banyak yang aku kongsikan kat dia, cuma nak dia nasihatkan aku camane aku boleh improve mood aku yg kejap2 ok, kejap2 tak ok. Last2, dia cakap,

'Aku dpt rasakan ko tgh sedih giler2 skrg. Klu ko perlu someone to share it, aku bersedia nak tolong.'

Agak terhibur bila aku baca mesej tu. Ko memang sahabat sejati aku. N... pepagi lagi dah kejutkan aku untuk Subuh.

Sebelum tertido (& tak sempat pun nak reply msg die!), merenung kejap nasihat dia, 'Jangan terlalu mengagungkan yang lepas. Sampai bila pun ko akan stay macam ni.'

Ko tak faham. Perasaan ni tak penah pudar. It's just that all these responsibilities that I cannot give up now. Bila mereka dah mampu berdiri sendiri, aku akan menarik nafas lega. Saat itu, barulah terlerai tanggungjawab yang terpikul atas bahu aku & kakak. Mungkin 2-3 tahun lagi. Yang pasti bukan sekarang.

Ya Rabb, sungguh ini dugaan-Mu yang paling menyakitkan. Moga Kau kurniakan ketabahan, setabah Ayub A.S.
Aku tak nak terus-terusan macam nih.
Sekejap gembira, sekejap sedih.
Penuh harapan, penuh kecewa.
Penuh keyakinan, penuh kekeliruan.

Memang aku tau manusia ada pasang surutnya... tapi nih dah terlalu cepat & pantas. Bila aku ketawa, aku akan menangis. Hey, this doesn't feel right. Bukannya nak kena PMS pun. Lalu kenapa???

Aku pernah mendoakan:

'Dear God,
Please let me meet someone to catch my fall...

'Y r u sad? Tell me. I wanna help to make you not sad anymore.'

... someone who's happy when I'm happy...
'I understand what you feel. I dun want anyone of you to go, but I can't be selfish as to stop any of you from going. So, I wish u all the best of luck :) I'm happy if you're happy.'

... & someone who'll wipe away my tears.'
'Go back. Sleep. Rest. Everything's gonna be ok tomorrow.'

'Love me, someone.'

I promise, that I will not cry in front of you anymore. I will always laugh & we will stay this way. Until the day I go. My friend, thank you.
Arinih aku dimintak buat design last minute (mcm biasa lah...) untuk banting & banner kat car park.

Lepas 3 jam, aku pun created this design (for banting):

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Then, haha! Berlakulah interaksi user-designer, as usual:

"Dear Carneyz & Macha,

Bunting design is fine, with the following revisions:-
our logo is to be placed at the bottom, please centralize and leave a clear white base/background of 1' height from the bottom,
to take away the coin image,
to increase size of '1' for "RM1", and
to rephrase as 'covered' instead of 'long term' for the car park, and
the text font (except for RM1) should be Arial.


Rgds,
Corp. Comm. Manager"

Aku terasa nak 'Wachaa!' je bila tengok betapa banyaknyerrrr komen ituh. Lepas 1 jam kemudian, aku pun revised design tu:

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Aku ingat sumer dah setel la sbb dah memenuhi user requirements kan? Jadi boleh agak la betapa boringnyer aku bila dapat email nih:

"Dear Carneyz,
1. Revised design looks good.
2. For the horizontal layout, is that the exact proportion? If it is wider, and you have limited vertical height, you can place the logo to the right to give more space for the text, if necessary.
3. Just occurred to me, is it 'satu jam pertama' or 'jam pertama'?

Regards,
Corp. Comm. Manager"


Uish. Udah le. Aku balik je la. Besok baru nak sambung!
Something that Jen said, made me have a headache over my sleepiness.

'What if the training doesn't end after September? What if it's still 1 year and a half... only the remaining half year we spend in permanent department?'
'Gosh, man. They promised.'
'Well, it wasn't written in black n white. Remember about the increment after 6 months in training?'

Oh, how I do recalled that. I remember stalling the time to sign the agreement because the verbal promise of increment after 6 months wasn't stated in written form. What did the HR Manager said to get us sign it?

With a wave of his hand, he assured us, 'Trump wouldn't lie about that.'

One year later, we know only too well what the management believe as motivational talk. Else, I wouldn't be attending every meeting with Usop with a oh-yeah-what-other-things-u-wanna-promise-this-time? look on my face.

Yes. The end of September is another word of mouth. The increment came, after an additional 6 months later. All terms remain unchanged, that's what the letter said. Does it also mean, training period also remains status quo?

'Or they said shortening the training period means, changing the remaining half year into permanent contract? So if we wanna get out, we still have to complete this balance of 6 months.'
The management, as well as us, have very crafty minds. Great minds dissuade in thinking.
I only hope that this time they came out clean & truthful about the training expiring soon.
Otherwise, what would I tell my next potential employer this Monday?
'I think I'll be available mid October. I think la...'

-p/s: u think la, does it hurt to hope? I keep myself alive with hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Hope that I'll reach my target weight. Hope this & that. So just by hoping that we can be friends, it brings back some of my life into me. Great wonders how listening to his voice keep the tears away. Keep on hoping, but don't make wishes. At least with hope, there's no time limit, but with wishes, I will desire until truth hits me hard that I can't have it. So in hope, I shall live.-
PETALING JAYA: In recognition of the role of housewives as homemakers, the Employees Provident Fund will now allow husbands to make contributions to accounts under their wives' names.

This move is aimed at providing the housewives some financial security in their old age and also prevent them from being left in the lurch should their spouses desert them.

In line with this, the EPF said it would embark on a campaign to educate housewives on this provision so that they could encourage their husbands to make the contributions.


EPF deputy chief executive officer (management and organisation development) Rusma Ibrahim said that one benefit of being EPF members was that the housewives would earn better returns in the form of dividends compared to the interest from bank savings accounts.

In addition, the housewives would be entitled to other benefits like disability payouts.

"A homemaker performs one of the most vital roles in society, yet she is given little recognition in terms of the value of her work.

"Contributing to her EPF will redress this inequality and at the same time provide some financial security for her in her old age," Rusma told The Star.

"If the husband earns enough, we do not see why he cannot contribute to his non-working wife's portion of the EPF," she added.

This could be done through the EPF's self-employed contribution scheme by completing the KWSP 16D form.

Rusma said the housewives would be classified as self-employed members and would be required to contribute a minimum monthly deduction of RM50.

She said the move to ask husbands to contribute for their wives was driven by the concern that they should have enough savings to enable them to live out their golden years.

"The EPF recognises that getting members to put aside some savings for their old age early in their working lives will require a sustained education campaign.

"We have started to focus on this subject for a while now through the media as well as at public forums," she said.

Women's groups hailed the move by the EPF, saying it was the first time a major government agency was recognising the hard work put in by homemakers.

Wanita MCA chief Datuk Dr Ng Yen Yen said this was part of the government's gender sensitisation programme.

"We will work with the EPF to educate the women on getting their husbands to contribute for them," said Dr Ng who is also Deputy Finance Minister.

She also advised women who were getting married to make this a part of the deal with their would-be spouses.

Sisters in Islam executive director Zainah Anwar said the EPF's initiative was a good way to recognise and value the women's work at home "as wife, mother, cook, cleaner, driver, tuition teacher, counsellor and gardener, who is on call 24 hours a day."

She urged the EPF to also consider other areas of concerns that women's groups and single mothers have raised in the past which remained unresolved.

Source: The Star

-Saw this on The Star's headline on Monday, but didn't manage to really read it until today. I think it's good and those who would be getting married should also try to discuss this with their future husband as safety net in any cases where the husband might not be around to provide for them anymore (separation bcoz of divorce or death). At least, will have savings while looking for jobs & for the benefits of their children as well.-
Menonong aje, tak tau nak wat aper. Dah malas nak keje. Semalam aku gi interview. Interview nih membukak mata yang sebenarnya, aku bukan dah UPGRADE, tapi dah DOWNGRADE.

Aku dah tak macam dulu. Someone who's energetic, resourceful, dilligent, optimistic, eager, cheerful, hardworking, and confident. That WAS me.

Tapi lepas keje kat sini, aku dah jadi... tak bersemangat, negatif, selalu buntu, hilang fokus, tak amik peduli, moody, pesimis, & yang paling menyedihkan, hilang kepercayaan diri. Semua nih aku dapat rasakan terpancar dari diri aku masa tengah di'interview'.

'Do you think that you have improved tremendously after working in your current company as compared to when you were a fresh graduate?' Aku terkebil2. Gugup.
'Erm.. I definitely think so.' Definitely + think so. Betapa kelam-kabut & tak fokusnya.

'What skills have you gained after that one year working experience?'
Susah... susah nak jawab. Kiteorang dah di'rotate' ke terlalu banyak department, dalam jangka masa yang terlalu hampeh pendeknya (department sekarang cuma 2 minggu je!), sampaikan tak sempat nak betul2 gain apa2 skills yang berguna.
What can I tell them? Oh yeah, now I know what's Corporate Communications all about, like the back of my hand. 'Oh really? What major communications activities have you done single-handedly?' TAK DE APA2! I wrote proposals for corporate diary, corporate calendar, cut news releases, processed registration forms for conferences, faxed news releases to media... all admin. stuff yang tak perlukan apa2 skills.

'So you've been in Finance. What do you do?'
'I assist in the...' Aku try nak ingat balik apa yang aku buat kat dalam Finance.
'... keying in the a**** revenues.'
'Did they let you use the finance system?'
'No. Because I'm not a permanent staff.'

So apa yang aku buat kat Finance dulu ek? Tetiap ari key in revenue je ke? Camane orang buat tender? Camane purchasing procedure? With sinking heart, I realized that I have wasted one month of my life just keying in revenue. Dieorang tak tunjuk / benarkan aku buat keja selain tu sebab mengganggu tugas harian dieorang. While the Finance Manager tak tau pun aku kat dalam department dier sepanjang aku di'rotate' ke Finance.

Paling memalukan, aku tak tau apa2 tentang aktiviti HR. Teori of course, dah hilang dari otak. Kalau nak mintak tolong nasihat in Employment Act, aku dah lupa semuanya sebab tak penah praktis. Camane menguruskan EPF withdrawal, caruman EPF by employer, SOCSO, bagi pampasan kat pekerja yg terlibat dalam eksiden, & mengira leave, sumer tu tak penah aku tau sebab aku cuma mengabiskan satu bulan (seminggu kira OT, 2 minggu call orang utk attend interview & interview budak praktikal.
Then, kalau in next interview dieorang nak tau how's my experience in HR, aku nak cakap apa??

What if, in my next interview, they want to know what I have done for the past 1 year?

'Oh I was in Corporate Communications, acting hectic & busy, & creating scandals. Then I was transfered to Finance for one month, keying in a**** revenue. After that, I was in HR for another 1 month, manually counting the OT & calling up people for interview (macam receptionist ek?). Uh, HR does not use any system. I think it's because the company's really small (managing big business). Once 1 month is up, I was in Technical, doing business development project instead. And proposal for a carnival which did not happen in the end. '
'Then I spent two months in retail, where the 1st week was spent begging for job, proposing a commercial idea to companies where after only 1 week, the idea was pulled out & I just wasted one week of life calling up these companies. Somehow, I knew I gained some skills in renovations work. At least I know what's DB box & water inlet / outlet. And my letter writing skills are superb, mind you. I've sharpened them during my stint in this department. Next, I'll be in Security (haha! I know, I know, it's the biggest joke, coz the SEcurity Manager only requested for us to be rotated in the department as a joke, which HR took seriously. Tell me about it). After that I'll be in GH (hauling baggages around, I believe, & selling tickets). And lastly, in RFS (I think this is more to answering calls). Pretty useful work experience, kan?'

Jarang apa yang kiteorang lakukan, diimplementasikan. Proposal berlambak2, tapi semua tak pakai. Aku ingat lagi macam nak rak aku ngan Chairman buat bajet untuk karnival tu. Akhirnya jadi just another piece of artwork. Lawa giler bajet tu. Berwarna-warni. Tapi tak pakai. Aku penah tak tido semalaman menyiapkan proposal utk inventori, sebab Trump cakap aku bley blah kalau aku tak submit proposal tu keesokan harinya (walaupun aku nak blah, tapi baki akaun bank aku tak mengizinkan aku nak blah). Akhirnya dah jadi pakar buat proposal. Boleh bukak kompeni siapkan proposal macam nih.

'What trainings have you attended?'
Gosh, heavens. Nama je trainee, tapi cuma dihantar ke satu je training bersama2. Cukup kelakar training program nih.

Ah, apapun, aku kena bangkit semula, mengumpul semangat, membuat persediaan sebab peluang selepas nih ialah peluang yang aku penah terlepas, & it's back in my hand. This is my dream, I can't let it go again.
Aku perlu menceriakan diri-sendiri, so bila aku datang ke interview, senyuman aku tak dipaksa2 & tak dibuat2. Aku kene mencari kecemerlangan dari semua pengalaman yang hampeh tu, supaya dieorang percaya aku dah achieved something (out of nothing!). Aku perlu menganalisis peluang tu, supaya bila dieorang tanya, aku bersedia ngan jawapannya. Menganalisis kompeni sekarang, supaya dieorang tau walaupun baru setahun dalam kompeni nih, tapi aku dah faham rasional kewujudannya.

Aku ingin jadi aku yang dulu.
Dah 3 hari tak dak air kat rumah. Paip besar pecah. Aku tak banyak cakap, sumbat baju dalam beg, & merempat kat memaner je la yang ada air. Nasib baik la ada tempat menumpang :)

Aku tak sangka GM Finance boleh tegur pasal berat badan aku :)

'Why are u not going out for lunch?'
Aku tunjuk kat yogurt strawberry kat atas meja aku.
'THAT'S LUNCH?'
Mengangguk & tersengih.
'Already so thin, what for want to diet??'
So thin mah??

Ah well... Aku tahu berat aku dah naik mendadak sejak mula kerja kat sini. Mula2 tak amik pusing. Tapi lately, aku dah obsessed giler nak kuruskan balik ke berat asal. In fact, lebih ringan daripada berat tu. Then, next time aku tengok muka kat cermin, tak de la nampak chubby sangat pipi nih. Chubby yang comel tak pe gak. Tapi aku bukannya budak 2 tahun lagi. Tak comel, tak de sapa yang nak :(

Hari nih, menghapdet resume, buat cover letter, kemaskan dapur, main2 ngan laptop Macha (best aa, laptop dier... BenQ warna biru kesukaanku :) ). Teramat bosan sebab housemate2 yang lain gi keja, so aku pun gi Jusco (Erk, asik2 gi Jusco). Tetiba ada mood nak masak something. Balik rumah, aku masak spageti. Campak2 je bawang, daging cincang, cendawan & pasta kat dalam kuali, pastu, tadah! Siap ;p Tulah resipi orang pemalas. Lain kali klu rajin sket, aku nak wat nasi tomato plak. Tu memerlukan skill mencampak yang lebih advanced. Apa2pun, kat housemate yang mengabiskan spageti tu, thank u so much sebab sudi makan & basuh sekali kuali tu!

Lastly, lusa bermula balik zaman mengorat kompeni. Tiket bas ke KL dah beli -->uwaa!! apsal mahal sangat seyy?? Dah naik RM26! :(( <-- & dah inform Dill jugak kul baper aku bakal sampai kat Stesyen Universiti. So sebenarnya, tulah tujuan aku ke cc malam nih. Nak print cover letter & memblog!
Wake me up when September ends.

When September ends. Kontrak tamat. Kitaorang akan dipanggil untuk discuss tentang new terms of contract - kali nih as permanent staff.

Tapi aku tak sabar menunggu penghujung September, sebab aku dah mempertimbangkan halatuju seterusnya. I am going to leave this place I have grown to love but never feel belong to.

Go to seek improvement in life. Go to find my fortune. Go to find THE ONE.

... Tapi kalau dia bukan THE ONE, kenapa setiap saat fikiran aku hanya mengenangkan dia? Kenapa tiap dinihari perkara pertama yang aku fikirkan ialah dia? Kenapa tidur aku masih diiringi doa untuk dia?

Sungguh kitaorang mula2 bertemu dalam keadaan gembira, dan berpisah jugak dalam keadaan gembira. Masih teringat kali terakhir melihat dia, dia masih tersenyum dan aku pun sama.

Tuhan. Aku tak sedar betapa dalam rupanya kasihku padanya. Sayangnya kasih tak sampai.
Indah...
Terasa indah...
Bila kita terbuai dalam alunan cinta...
Sedapat mungkin terciptakan rasa..
Keinginan saling memiliki


Namun bila,
Itu semua dapat terwujud
Dalam satu ikatan cinta
Tak semudah seperti yang pernah terbayang...
Menyatukan perasaan...


Tetaplah menjadi bintang dilangit
Agar cinta kita akan abadi
Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini,
Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita
Berdua...
Berdua...


Sudah...
Lambat sudah...
Kini semua harus berakhir
Mungkin inilah jalan yang terbaik
Dan kita mesti relakan kenyataan ini
Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku telah terpagut oleh cintamu.

Menyelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu.

Sepenuhnya aku
Ingin memelukmu
Mendekat penuh harapan
Untuk mencintaimu.

Setulusnya aku
Akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawapan
Untuk memilikimu.

Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk hatiku
Semoga kau tahu isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku.

Sepenuhnya aku
Ingin memelukmu
Mendekat penuh harapan
'tuk mencintaimu.

Setulusnya aku
Akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawapan
Untuk memilikimu.
Blissful weekend...

After one week of communication-less with people (colleagues aside), I went back to my old place to have a de-stress session. Since it was drizzling, I had to wait for Mr. Chairman to finish his work and then hitch a ride all the way to where I used to stay. Everybody was pleased to see me.

'Ah, you. Let's go dinner.'

On normal occasion, I would balk at the idea. Dinner is almost non-existant in my dictionary. Lunch is the good ol' strawberry yogurt. It must be strawberry. Too bad they don't have chocolate yogurt. But hey, it would defeat the whole purpose, isn't it?

So dinner we had. For someone who had starved herself for most days, it was a lavish affair.

My housemate wanted to eat siakap masak stim (steamed siakap). I was dying for tomyam ayam with lotsa mushrooms. And another housemate insisted on a balanced diet, so we ordered sayur kailan ikan masin (kailan with salted fish). For appetizer, we devoured the whole basket of otak-otak. This is the main reason why I felt that prolonging the decision to move back to the Land of Hornbills are fully justified. Dinner outing is one mind-blowing experience to me :)

We ate to our heart's content. The steamed fish is deliciously done. My sense picked up every essence of the taste - sour & salty, with a tinge of sweetness of the fish flesh. The kailan wasn't that bad, except it was cooked in the truly Malay-style - lotsa oil. The most mouth-watering would be the chicken tomyam, hot but not too hot, the chicken pieces hidden by all the mushrooms (the way I like it).

That nite, I slept soundly, all basic needs had been satisfied (good company, good food, cozy mattress).

Sunday came.

As my dearest chum woke up late, we had a late exploration of the day. We had lunch at Pak Ali (famous for the crispy fried mushroom-on-a-stick and the bomb price they charged for it). Then I wanted to survey for new spectacles (I'm going frameless again). After draining my pocket at the optical shop where I did my current specs, we went to our usual hanging out place - Jusco.

The place was bustling with frenzied shoppers. We merely enjoyed doing what we do best - window shopping, trying out clothes, and have a Japanese experience (do I love wasabi?). Wasabi is unique. I normally hate spicy, hot things. However, I fell head-over-heel with wasabi. It's only to be consumed by the brave-heart. And if I swallowed too much of that thing, the person to me would get the hardest thumping in their life. The burning sensation does not linger on your tongue, it travels up to your nose, your eyes, your brain... I just love that green stuff.

And who am I to deny my heritage? I'm a Melanau, for cry-out-sake! We eat raw fish. Raw salmon included.

Tired of looking around, we decided to head back to good ol' apartment. Lying down, watching tv, from Hindi movie, to documentary on 'limau madu'. I laughed non-stop when the commentator who obviously byheart his speech, accidentally let out his own Kelantanese dialect - 'bebah dari penyakit.' And my housemate (a Kelantanese) roared in laughter too. 'Mesti cari dier balik Kelate nanti.' She commented, after the laughter subsided.

I stayed at my old house until after Maghrib, and then went back. Ah, well. Next week some friends are coming down from KL to meet me, and I'm looking forward to their visit :)