Monday Ranting (Part I)

I have come to a point in my life where I'm wondering what am I doing here and how is this relevant to what I want in life.

It doesn't make sense, you know. Wherever I turn to, I'm not happy. I'm not happy where I'm staying, I'm not happy where I'm working, I'm not happy complaining about it here in my blog. I'm not happy with the fact that I can't do anything about it.

People tell me I got to believe in hikmah. I have to endure this and then things would fall into their places. Then I'll get it. W-e-l-l... Hikmah is one thing, but God doesn't change anything unless we go and change it, isn't it? How do we know when it's not hikmah anymore and it's time to breakaway? Take a chance, make a change, that's what Kelly Clarkson said.

Isn't it when it comes to a point where nothing brings pleasure anymore?

OK. I apologize for that. There are things and people who still make me smile, you know, actually smile without having to fake it. There are simple pleasure in listening to songs on MP3 player. Of chocolate. Of riding my bike. Of blogging. Of sweet sms.

And there are tremendous pleasure in talking to listening ear, in getting the attention, and well. To be someone's priority. Yeah, I know, I sound like 'me-me-me' person, don't I? That's coz I'm tired of giving the attention, and not getting it back. I live by the rule of 'what you give, you will get back'. It works with charity, what? At least I'm being honest to myself here. Before I can make people happy, I must be happy myself.

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