Bangun pagi. Kemas beg. Borak2. Keluar rumah. Buat kerja. Kemas barang. Makan tengahari. Balik rumah Jen, basuh baju. Sidai baju. Balik opis. Petang ni lepak tasik lagi. Amik laundry. Dinner. Balik. Tido.

Semuanya macam biasa je. Tapi besok aku dah tak de di sini.

Semalam bila aku lepak di tasik (aku nak lepak di sini sepuas2nya sebelum aku pergi), aku pandang sekeliling ngan rasa terharu. Tengok jeti. Tengok jambatan. Tengok bangunan fakulti dari jauh. Tengok padang bola. Tengok pokok. Tengok galeria. Tengok simen dengan motif daun.

Aku sedut udara sedalam2nya. Bau rumput, tanah lembap dan air tasik. Bila aku hembuskan, aku terasa betapa sayangnya aku pada tempat ni. Aku teringatkan seseorang yang buatkan aku gembira. Aku teringat saat-saat aku & Eva duduk berjuntai kaki sambil bercerita.

'I love this place.'
'I know.'
'What are you going to name your child when you have one? Boy or girl?'
'Girl. I like the name 'Aleeya'. Aleeya...'
'That's nice.'
'What's yours then?'
'Erm. I like a boy. Maybe I'll name him Aaron.'
'Aaron? Aaron & Aleeya?'
'I wish I have a lake like this in my backyard.'
'Then we can do this all the time.'
'Yeah. Why not?'
'Marry rich guy then.'
'I don't want.'
'I'd rather have my own money.'
'Let's open a cafe.'
'My sister & I want to own a chocolate shop. Or a bakery.'
'Oh, then I'll get cakes to serve to my customers from your shop.'
'That's wonderful!'
'Oh Carneyz, I dun want to leave Johor.'
'Me too. Me too.'
Some days are just wonderful.

Some days I wake up from a beautiful dream and I open my eyes to greetings of 'good morning' and smile from friends. Some days have sweet sms in my inbox from faraway friends who remembered me in the middle of the night. Some days start with a cuppa coffee and hot toast, while we discuss what we wanna plan for the day and finish the stories we told the night before over breakfast.

Some days I step out into warm sunshine and breezy day, and it was really really beautiful I smile to myself and hum a song. Some days there are no traffic jam and I can ride my bike 120km/h for fun. Some days I work on my design and the idea keeps pouring out like fountain. Some days I deal with nice people who ask normal questions. Some days I laugh at people's jokes and tease Ainie & Jen, and even Chairman endlessly.

Some days I can leave the office early, then I spend the time at the lake watching the sunset. Then I go back to watch favorite programs on tv and chilling out on the floor with Kak Za, joking to each other. Some days I end everything with a smile, retiring to a peaceful and contented sleep.

Some other days I just wanna hurl the pc on the floor, yell at the MS Outlook and shoot people who got on my nerve.

But then. That wouldn't be good for my new year's resolution.

I wanna be a good-natured girl always.


OK, not always. Most of the time. Except when I'm PMS-ing. Or deprived of chocolates. Or both.

Correction. Go crash somewhere for the night.
I'm hungry. Bored. Overworked. There are more to go. I wanna go back home. I wanna eat. I wanna sleep. I haven't prayed yet. There are three more sections to go. I'm fed up of this whole thing. Darn it. I'm hunggrrryyy!!

... I miss Jen.

I wanna go take a break, meet God, say a prayer that I'll finish this soonest possible, go upstairs for dinner, save everything in my mp3 player, pack up and go home. I'm hungry. So so hungry.
I have the urge to blog at this particular moment, regardless of how bogged down I am with my works and there'll be a presentation meeting tomorrow of which (paused dramatically), I'm the presenter. Surprisingly, despite the cup of coffee I took this morning, I'm all cool & collected about this presentation stuff (there's a possibility of staying late in the office tonite).

I mean, all these words playing in my head, anxious to be typed down and expressed to the world. When I told my friends that part-and-parcel of being a Gemini is the need to communicate is always there, Jen had pointed out,

'But you're not like that. You're different from Shah (who happen to be a Gemini).'

Jen, I may slow down on my verbal communication, but well, I prefer to communicate my thoughts thru writings, or in this God-forsaken era, thru my blog. Whatever ways it is, I do communicate.

Then again, sometimes I wonder whether I'm at the point of insanity. Nobody would admit talking to themselves, that's nuts. But I do. I have this small part in my brain that NEEDS to judge everything. Judging means you need two sides of the story. So in my brain, there are two parties that always disagree with each other. One party says I'm nuts, the other says naah, I'm just living up to my star sign (refer to the 'Twins' nature of one born under the sign of Gemini).

So a Gemini will always communicate whether there are people or not. If there's such thing as intra-conflict, there's also intra-communication. It's called being introverted who likes to introspect inside one's self. End of story.

And no, that doesn't mean I'm schizophrenic. There's no small, sly voice inside my brain telling me what to do. So please don't be concerned that I should go to the nearest psychiatrist. I am perfectly sane, thank you very much. I never contemplate suicide, that's a sin worthy of eternal hell. Imagining myself falling backwards, arms open and eyes closed into deep, deep ocean when under stress does not count as suicidal thoughts - I just feel like letting go that's it.

I spent a boring weekend settling my accommodation in KL, then flying back to JB and chilling out with close friends talking about nothing and everything, me not contributing much to the thought process because I was so bummed out.

On Christmas day, I went to Skudai to help my friends move into a new house, of which was recommended by me via another group of friends. It's so nice knowing that I have a network of reliable friends and I've learnt my lesson not to take them for granted because over here, friends are closer than family. Without friends, I wouldn't be able to find a replacement house so quickly when my original choice of house was cancelled quite unexpectedly. And certainly without them, I would be sleeping in the office for over one month being a homeless person I am (the joke is turning stale but it's rather entertaining and helps to put the nasty part out of perspective so I can only see it as a joke, period).

Then I spent two days feeding fishes while lost in deep thoughts, only to note that humans are cruel, cheating race. They were not supposed to fish in the lake, but they did and they fished for fun. When the fishes are hauled to dry land, they watched the fish to die a painful death one gasp at a time, let their kids bring the carcass home and chucked it in the bin coz it turned smelly. I hope the fishes spent an equally enjoyable time during the Hereafter doing exactly the same thing to these bunch of inhumane humans. They should be banned from reproducing replicas of themselves of which they teach it's ok to kill animals for fun. Sniff. I'm being environmental-passionate pulak.

Well, I am kinda moody nowadays. The realization that I will be leaving Johor soon has sunk in and I am actually being well-composed of it - the reality is I feel like flinging myself to the ground and howl in desperation, then rolling around throwing a major tantrum because I DON'T WANT TO MOVE.

But move I have to, for the sake of future, and for the fact that I hope that my impending move will be good for everyone - friends and used-to-be friends alike.Things are rather complicated if I stay and thus it signifies that fate wants me to move on with life. Also because of love, I will sacrifice and risk what may come hurtling to me.

Laughing matter or not, I am capable of love rupa2nya. So there you are, the words that can't wait to get out of my head at the moment.
Yang berhormat Datuk,

Setahun dah berlalu sejak saya duduk di depan Datuk dan Datuk telah menanyakan definisi globalisasi. Saya ketika itu takut2, dan berusaha keras menjawab soalan itu dengan betul kerana saya dah penat menghadiri temuduga serta sudah hampir kehabisan duit dan sangat terdesak memerlukan kerja itu.

Saya teramat inginkan kerja itu dan sanggup menghabiskan satu malam membuat research untuk tajuk yang Datuk berikan kerana Datuk mahukan esei itu pada hari berikutnya. Saya tak menganggap Datuk tak bertimbangrasa - saya tahu Datuk ingin melihat sejauh mana saya sanggup berusaha.

Sebelum saya mendapat kerja ini, saya menyara kehidupan dengan gaji yang cukup kecil, kerana saya telah ditipu oleh pensyarah saya sendiri. Mungkin juga dia tak bermaksud menipu saya. Nasib memang tak pernah adil, selagi saya bekerja di bawah orang lain. Tapi saya tak menyalahkan takdir, hmm. Mungkin ada perasaan kesal sedikit, tapi semuanya memang sudah ditetapkan Allah sebegini. Saya begitu bersyukur sebab walaupun gaji saya sikit, tapi hidup saya tenang dan seronok dengan kawan2 yang senasib.


Hari pertama memulakan kerja, saya begitu bersemangat. Saya mengisi borang dan diperkenalkan ngan Chairman 'from Minnesota University'. Kagum betul ngan kelulusan Chairman. Diperkenalkan ngan bos, dan diberi taklimat. Seminggu kemudian, Ainie dan Jen mula bertugas di sini dan juga Survivor. Kehidupan di tempat kerja semakin menyeronokkan. Masa yang paling menyeronokkan ialah waktu makan tengahari, di mana kami berlima menghabiskan masa bercerita (sebenarnya cuma kami berempat bercerita, Chairman masa tu lebih pandai mendengar cerita).

Mungkin surat saya dah melalut sikit. Maafkan saya kerana mengimbau kenangan mula2 bekerja di sini. Dari segi kerja, sayalah yang paling sibuk berlari ke sana dan ke sini. Pada waktu tu, Datuk mula memberikan saya tanggungjawab yang berat sedikit daripada yang lain, mungkin sebab saya dalam department ni. Tapi saya sungguh berbesar hati, Datuk. Setiap tanggungjawab ialah amanah, dan setiap amanah ialah kepercayaan. Saya rasakan Datuk percaya ngan kebolehan saya.

Tapi sampai satu masa perasaan ni berubah. Suatu peristiwa menyebabkan saya dituduh menjadi puncanya, nyaris2 mencemarkan nama baik syarikat. Saya dah berusaha apa yang termampu, melakukan semua yang dlm pengetahuan saya. Sungguh iman saya tergugat dan kredibiliti saya dipersoalkan. Rasa percaya pada syarikat sudah agak luntur ketika itu.

Datuk, mungkin kerana syarikat baru membangun, Datuk dah tak punya masa untuk kami. Kami kebingungan dan terumbang-ambing tanpa arah yang jelas, dan keraguan terhadap matlamat apa kami diambil di sini mula timbul. Dari satu department, ke satu department kami berpindah-randah, tak de siapa yang pasti untuk apa kami ditempatkan di situ. Akhirnya kami juga hilang matlamat dan semangat. Saya apatah lagi, Datuk. Seumur hidup saya jelas apa yang saya ingin lakukan, tiba2 bila meletakkan kepercayaan untuk pengurusan menetapkan matlamat hidup saya, saya dikecewakan.

Suatu masa, Datuk memberikan tugas sekali lagi kepada saya. Saya berusaha untuk melaksanakannya sebaik mungkin. Tapi entah di mana silap, tanpa usul periksa, saya dituduh tidak melaksanakan langsung tugas yang diberikan. Kali ini, perasaan setia dan semangat untuk berada di sini mati ngan tiba2. 8 bulan setelah pertama kali saya duduk di depan Datuk, saya sekali lagi menghadap Datuk, tapi dengan perasaan mati. Bila Datuk menghamburkan kemarahan di depan saya, sedikitpun saya tak ambil kisah. Saya sudah tidak peduli lagi.

Mungkin Datuk tertanya2 kenapa saya masih berada di sini kalau saya betul2 tidak berpuas hati ngan layanan Datuk selama ni. Saya sendiri pun tak pasti. Rasanya saya menunggu masa yang sesuai untuk saya meninggalkan semuanya. Sebenarnya saya dah bosan bekerja dan bekerja, hingga saya terkeliru apa matlamat hidup sebenarnya.
Saya rasa saya telah tertipu oleh dunia. Saya sudah hilang perasaan syukur pada nikmat, sudah terhakis perasaan dermawan dan kasih, sudah tidak punya masa untuk orang tersayang, sudah menyibukkan diri untuk ibadat - adakalanya untuk solat (Allah, ampunkan hambaMu ini), sudah jatuh cinta pada kebendaan, sudah tidak mahu menjaga adab dengan orang lain. Semuanya sejak saya bekerja di sini.

Akibatnya, saya sudah hilang ketenangan hidup, dan hilang pedoman. Saya sudah bosan ngan kehidupan terumbang-ambing ini.

Saya mahu kehidupan saya yang serba sederhana, walaupun susah dan perit, adakalanya mengikat perut untuk kesenangan keluarga di kampung, terjaga di tengah malam memikirkan bagaimana melangsaikan sewa, tapi penuh tawadhuk, terjaga dan bahagia. Semua kerana hati saya masih bersih, tidak disakiti dan menyakitkan hati orang lain dan saya lebih percaya rezeki Allah dari rezeki dari syarikat ini.

Saya mahu pulang, Datuk. Ke jalan itu walaupun terpaksa menanggalkan alas kaki yang saya pakai selama nih untuk berjalan di jalan yang penuh onak duri itu. Sebab akhirnya saya tahu saya akan sampai ke suatu tempat yang tenang abadi. Dan semua luka dan derita itu akan digantikan ngan kesenangan selama-lamanya.

Akhir kata, suatu hari nanti, saya akan kembali ke sana. Insya Allah Datuk, dan lepaskanlah saya dengan restu dan doakan saya agar terpelihara dari dunia ini lagi. Saya akan tetap mendoakan kejayaan syarikat ini kerana saya sayang orang2 yang bekerja di sini, yang telah membantu saya dan menceriakan hidup saya. Wassalam.
God forbid Adam to eat the apple but Adam touched it.

I was standing in a pharmacy waiting for my friend to buy her monthly stock, I don't have to point it out anyway coz the only time a girl entered a pharmacy is solely for that purpose. That, or more makeup.

Facing the rack opposite the rack where the monthly stock is kept, my eyes scanned the items in interest and the interest heightened when I saw two items in colorful boxes and bottles standing neatly in a row.

I took a step nearer and narrowed my eyes. Hmm. Started counting the number of different boxes that stared wickedly at me. There was eight different types after all and I thought there's only one type that existed in the whole entire world. Apparently, I was the frog under the coconut shell all this while.

The first box has three types of fruit shown on it. F-ru-it flavored?? What the fish?? Why the fish they need to make it with tasty fruit flavors? I grinned. The second box boasted a more advanced feature - it's ridged. My fingers tingled, I wanted to take it and turned the box around for instruction. The third box gleefully told me it's com-fit. I snorted in laughter, but kept on reading the next one. The fourth one, which happened to be the most sell-able item, was the thinnest. The fifth one had a love-shaped devil printed on it, for devils know why. I will have to come back to the same pharmacy for the details of the sixth, the seventh & the eight box.

I leant nearer and stole a glance at the bottles of lotion beneath the boxes. That was when I broke off in loud laughter.

Heavens! Mercy on me. It's like being in a workshop! I was tickled pink by the time my friends dragged me out of the pharmacy.

'Aku ingat gapo la mek nih tengok sampai khusyuk sangat pastu terbongkok2 gelak. Malu betul jalan ngan mu! Toksey bawak mu jale lagi!'
Lara tiada akhirnya
'Pabila menatap resah
Sepi hingga waktu berkubur

Sayu makin membuku di dada
Terhiris kalbu
Adakah inikan terus berlalu

Apa nilainya jika sangsimu mengganggu
Untuk kembali ke pangkuan
Dan bermesra denganku

Tiada ertinya di sini
Tiada ertinya berkasih
Semua telah kau bawa dan berlalu tinggalkanku
Tiada ertinya menanti
Tiada ertiya buatku padamu
Diri yang merindui

Apa yang ku mahukan
Bagimu tiada ruang
Yang berdiri dan memeluk dirimu

Apa nilainya jika sangsimu mengganggu
Untuk kembali ke pangkuan
Dan bermesra denganku

Tiada ertinya di sini
Tiada ertinya berkasih
Semua telah kau bawa dan berlalu tinggalkanku
Tiada ertinya menanti
Tiada ertiya buatku padamu
Diri yang merindui.
Adam's hand reached for the apple. I know exactly how Adam felt. It was stupid.

Aku rasa cam nak meletup semalam. Rasa nak 'basuh' manager2 sorang demi sorang. Kalau non-exec boleh pulak tak nak suruh overtime, sebab nak cut manpower cost. Exec sesuka ati je nak suruh keje beyond working hour?? Who invented this stupid rule anyway? Meh aku lempang sekali.

Next time, please dun bury the Xmas trees.

Pastu aku pening kepala jugak pasal housing kat KL. Aku ingat dah nak cuci tangan je, tinggal nak bayar deposit & masuk. Rupa2nya... Nasib baik aku ex-hosmet aku dulu, Kak Tini bagitau rumah lama dia nak cari hosmet.

What the fish? What the fish? What the fish???

Lepak la kat tasik, kasi cool down sket. Cuaca mendung ngan angin sejuk buat aku jadi tenang balik. Bunyi air & pemandangan sekitar taman UTM buat aku rasa cam nak tido pun ada gak. Tapi, aahhh... lega. Jauh dari perasaan marah yg membuak2 sebelum tu.

Tengah mengelamun tengok satu family nih bagi ikan makan, tetiba henset aku bunyi. Sebelum tu, colleague aku dah call, tanya pasal hal keja (aku nak lepak pun tak senang!). Baru je nak bertukar menjadi singa balik, tengok2 no. Kak Za naik.

'Ye Kak Za.'
'Kat belakang awak.'

Huh? Aku toleh dan tengok Kak Za ngan Yana tengah gelak2. Terkejut jugak la tengok dieorang kat situ. Wah, rupa2nya dieorang tau aku kat sini. Saja nak buat surprise la tu.

'Ai, mek. Tension lagi ke?'

Hehe. Tau aje port aku bila tension. Ntah. Terus rasa hepi & hilang tension bila dieorang datang semata2 nak teman aku lepak.
Yesterday Ainie and I went Xmas shopping (darn that parking card costed me RM10 and I've noooo moneeeyy) all over JB. We ended up buying garlands of tinsel, boxes of shiny balls, and rolls of ribbon to decorate the non-existing (yet) Xmas trees. All these worth RM304.16. Thank God I'm not paying it out of my account.
We picked up my portable mattress I bought eons ago, then dropped it at Jen's house. It's exactly my idea of being a full-blown nomad. I like being portable so that explains why I wanna own a laptop like crazy. Ainie let me drive the car (and gambled her life) and it's just not any car it's a manual car, so we had a maniac, laughing moments where she kept saying, 'Don't be nervous! Relax..' 'I'm not nervous, I'm laughing see?' every time the car jerked and I was desperately trying to balance the clutch (I wanna own a manual car some day seriously) / change gear.
I promised my friend to sleep at Skudai. Dear, ol' Skudai my bestest ever Skudai. Apparently, somebody committed suicide at the block across my friend's place. That explained why it's extra quiet last nite.
So this morning I was sitting on my bike, warming up the engine for another day of absurd illegal self-racing moments to work when I noticed the fuel indicator nearing 'E' level. I thought to myself, 'I have to drive slowly today so I don't have to stop by at the nearest Shell.'
When I was on the road, the thought striked me ridiculous that I had to say aloud, 'Since when can I drive slowly??' So what the heck, I just stopped by to fill the fuel, and drove to work at 120km/h. I punched in at 8.59am. Not bad since I left home at 8.40am.
Sorry, I'm really really sorry.
Sorry, I couldn't be the person you want me to be
Sorry I stopped walking with you half-way
Sorry I left the wrong impression of me
Sorry for turning my back.

Sorry for keeping the distance
For I couldn't walk a step more
Our destiny does not cross here.
Sorry for the sadness in your heart
And sorry I couldn't possibly make it go away.
It's inside me too, I feel its presence each day.

Sorry is just a word
A consonant, a vowel, a sound
But if you wish to know in my very vein
The pain that makes my eyes water
The shock that flashes images in my head
Then the heaviness that choke my breaths
That is how I feel it.
Azlan has a terminology for annoying people / things.

Speak-speak Grend-em.

I'm dealing with speak-speak grend-em now. He has asked me to find one big Xmas tree. Last Saturday, I found one 8 feet Xmas tree, retailing at RM189. So I sent an email telling him 'hooray! Found one!' But 8 feet is not tall enough apparently!

Exasperated, I summoned the Internet, the Mother of all Info, to help me find in this Internet-forsaken state, where in the world can I get a place selling GIANT Xmas tree. After 3 hours later (and Ainie trying hard telling me that the other speak-speak grend-em insists on having live Xmas tree, not the artificial ones, mind you, his reasoning is because it's more practical. As if the tree dying after 2 weeks and having to be-deck the Xmas trees again & again is practical), somebody came and told me, 'Hey, try Ideal Collection.'

Heavens speak to me at last. Mother of All Info directed me to Ideal Collection and I managed to get a Xmas tree 15 feet high. Joy to The World. The only problem is it's RM2050.

Very the speak-speak grend-em.
Aku terjaga dalam pukul 4 petang. Buat kesekian kali kesunyian rumah begitu mendamaikan. Nak sambung tidur tapi mata dah tak mengantuk. Aku bangkit.
Lepas mandi, aku terasa segar. Aku ke dapur, menuangkan air ke dalam mug dan berdiri di depan sinki sambil termenung ke luar tingkap. Cuaca mendung, macam dalam hati aku jugak. What a perfect day, desis hati. It reminds me of a world far away.
I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Aku nak bagi ikan di tasik makan. Macam suatu masa dulu. Ada satu ketenangan abadi bila duduk di jambatan sambil bagi ikan makan. Sebelum keluar rumah, aku sempat pegi buang sampah. Walaupun bukan rumah aku, tapi aku rasa prihatin tentang kebersihan rumah.
Melalui jalan ke gerbang UTM, aku begitu rindu pada tempat yang mengajar aku tentang kehidupan. Pohon-pohon rendang di kiri dan kanan tunduk memayungi jalan. Begitu cantik UTM, dan begitu sepi hati aku.
Cebisan roti yang aku lempar ke tasik disambar ngan cepat oleh ikan2 yg lapar. Kali nih ada ikan sembilang. Mesti tak lama lagi ada pertandingan memancing. Memancing mengingatkan aku ngan seseorang. Sedih. Sedih.
Ya Allah, I felt like plunging my hand inside me and pulled out my heart. Here God, please make it pure again! I have sinned, and I have lost myself. I beg of You, kembalikan cahaya iman itu!
Aku telah berdosa dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana menebus dosa itu.
Aku bercadang nak melabur dalam ASB memandangkan dividen ASB tinggi & menguntungkan. Daripada duit aku dok dlm bank cam tu je, baik la aku melaburkannya secara selamat. Tapi, baru2 nih member aku cakap pelaburan ASB diragui sebab mungkin bercampur ngan pelaburan haram. So aku pun gi lah portal Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (JAKIM) untuk memastikan ke'halal'an ASB.

Assalamualaikum, ustaz saya keliru dengan hukum melabur di dalam ASB. Ada pihak yang mengatakannya halal dan ada pihak yang mengatakannya haram. Bolehkah ustaz tolong huraikan mengenai pertelagahan ini ?
Merujuk kepada Majlis Fatwa Negeri Kedah melabur dalam ASB adalah harus. Tuan dinasihatkan supaya melabur dalam mana-mana institusi yang telah difatwakan halal. Mengikut fatwa negeri Kedah dan Perak hukum melabur dalam ASB adalah harus dan dividennya halal.
Insya Allah, lepas ni boleh la aku gi POS Malaysia amik borang ASB. To all my Muslim friends, kalau ada apa2 kemusykilan tentang hukum-hakam agama, boleh la melawat portal JAKIM :)
Di tengah2 kesibukan aku semenjak kebelakangan ni, hampir terlupa nak citer pasal benda yang boleh merehatkan otak. Mana tak, projek aku sokmo postponed. Tensen betul. Tapi nak wat camane, itulah asam garam keja ngan orang. Kalau keja tu boleh disetelkan sendiri, Insya Allah boleh deliver on time. Tapi kalau dah memerlukan kerjasama orang, kena pulak tunggu dia ada masa nak setelkan projek tu. Sabar ajelah.

So kali nih aku nak citer pasal insan2 yang paling aku sayang :)

My sisters. These gorgeous ladies flanking me are my lovely sisters. Sorang masih belajar kat sekolah asrama, sorang lagi keje kat Miri. Sekarang ni aku cuma jumpa dieorang tetiap kali raya je. Huhu..! Sebab tu kakak aku selalu mintak aku keja kat sana tapi aku degil. Memang macam tulah pe'el anak ke-2. Degil benor...

P/S: Both my sisters are very much available... ;) Muahaha!

The apple of my eyes, my sweet, little cousins & sisters. Balik kampung je, mesti nak main kat jambatan. Ada2 aje aktiviti dieorang. Bosan2, gi la teman dieorang kat tepi sungai. Hobi dieorang memancing. Hari raya ke-3 tu, adik sedara aku, Min & Zarif dapat 5 ekor ikan sembilang! Excited giler la sumer dieorang. Malam tu, ikan2 tu jadi lauk ikan sembilang masak lemak. Bukan main berselera dieorang makan. Tau ajelah, budak2 kan tak suka makan.

Then, there's cute little Nana. Masa kecik2 dulu, takut ngan orang. Tapi bila dah besar nih, dier manja pulak. Kalau nampak aku, dia lari kat aku dan peluk pinggang. Tengoklah posing manja Nana. Comel, kan? :)

Rasanya, korang mesti dah agak aku sayang kat budak2 kecik :p Dieorang tak complicated macam orang besar, lebih2 lagi cam aku. Muahaha! Kalau kat opis, tak de orang sangka the other side of me (me!) ialah yang lagu nih. Hehe. Masa outstation arituh, sempat lepak rumah Bib. Bib ada anak sedara baru. Nama dia Athirah, 8 bulan. Mula2 aku sampai, Athirah tengok aku ngan mata besar (mata dier memang besar macam mata Bib). Bib angkat anak sedara dier, letak kat pangku aku. Lepas acah2 dier, terus dier tak nak ngan Bib lagi dah! :p Best la gak dapat main ngan baby last week. Cuma nak ada baby sendiri tu yang tak bersedia lagi. Muahaha! Cukup la main ngan baby orang...

Pastu, minggu nih, adik Survivor bawak baby dia, Hariz gi opis. Dah lama tak jumpa Hariz! Kali terakhir, masa dia baru lahir. This time, dier dah besar. Tak takut pulak bila aku dukung dia :) Hariz macam mak sedara dia gak, muka senyum sokmo. Mesti encem bila besar nanti...

Hehe. Harap2 aku pun dapat baby yang cute gak, cam Athirah & Hariz.

'Ainie, kalau u jadik ngan Chairman, nanti mesti anak u cute giler. Mata besar, pipi chubby, rambut ikal, kulit putih...'

... :p

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I'm barking mad. Mad to stay at the office until the wee hour last nite. Needless to say, I'm going to KL again later today. Nasib baik everything dah setel malam tadi. Meeting material. Printed e-mails. Et cetera, et cetera.

Aku rasa dah nak time la. Sebab angin aku pun macam angin kus-kus. Sekejap sejuk, sekejap panas. Mintak maaf, yang. Terkasar bahasa pulak petang semalam :( Nasib baik dia dah semakin memahami. Selera makan pun bertambah jugak. Pantang-larang, diet sumer redah aje. Yang penting nafsu makan tu puas. Itulah petandanya aku akan dilanda... (dot, dot, dot.)

Mungkin jugak sebab aku tensen. Aku betul2 nak tengok projek aku 'live' on time. Kalau boleh, comes New Year 2006 je, dah launch la projek aku nih. Amin. At the same time, aku nak kena setelkan urusan berpindah-randah ni. Maklumlah, nomad. Ke mana2pun bawak segulung tikar buruk aku tu je (best la pulak guna ayat 'segulung tikar buruk'. Next entry nak buat 'Carneyz & Segulung Tikar Buruknya'. Haha! >gelak evil<).

Then nak kena attend meeting kat KL. Sabtu nih dah dapat assignment baru pulak. Boleh tak kalau aku propose kat bos aku supaya keja aku blogging je?? Boleh tak??

Antara nak setelkan projek nih, bos suruh revise design signage yang aku buat tu. Nasib baik minor changes je. Cuma bila discuss ngan Chairman on my design, dia propose buat something yang even better. Chairman nih nak kene cekik jugak! Cakap last minute, haku jugak yang, 'Ala... naper u tak bagitau awal2??! Kalau tak I dah revise awal2 cam idea u tu...' Tau tak dia jawab aper??

'You tak tanya pun.'

Uish Chairman. Gigit karang! Kenapalah ke'poyo'sanmu itu cukup menguji kesabaran aku. Nasib baik ur one of my good friends. Sudah, sudah. Daripada aku makan orang, baik aku revise design sebelum tunjuk kat Trump, Inc.

... kisah seorang graphic designer tak bertauliah. Sekian.