Final Goodbye.

'Dun cry. Please dun cry.'
'I'm going to lose my all time mate...' Her hot tears made me feel like weeping too. Tak masuk Kak Za lagi.
'Mek. Kak Za sedih la awak dah nak gi.'
'Jangan la macam tu Kak Za. Saya pun rasa cam tu jugak.'
'Naper awak nak pindah mek?'
Naper? Naper?

Bila hari terakhir aku di JB, baru aku umumkan yang aku akan berpindah kepada semua. Masing2 terkejut. Kenapa tak bagitau awal? Kenapa nak pindah?

Kenapa? Kenapa?

'We're gonna miss you.' Kak Eyna peluk aku. I hugged her & Layla tightly. 'I'm going to miss everyone of you too.' Looking at Layla's stomach, I said, 'Jangan lupa jemput majlis bercukur rambut baby nanti.' 'Insya Allah.'

Then it was the Fab Four. Chairman, blessed his soul, seolah2 terlupa aku dah nak pergi. The effort to gather the five of us together had twice been let down by him. Tak pelah Chairman. Maybe hanging out with 4 crazy girls are not that hot an idea as before. We had lunch. We laughed. We told stories. We laughed. I leant against Ainie's shoulder affectionately. I love my friends dearly. Then why am I leaving them?


Sekali lagi, sebelum naik bas, aku peluk Kak Za, Yana, Ainie, Jen, & Survivor satu persatu. 'Thank you. Thank you.' I couldn't say anymore. I have been so lucky to have them as my friends. I will miss them sorely. So badly.

Dari tingkap bas, aku cuba berlagak tenang. Melihat Jen menyapu air mata di pipi. Smile, I mouthed to her. I smiled. And waved. Then the bus moved away. It was so cold. Outside, and inside. There's this hollow feeling. My hands felt numb. I put my hand in my jacket pocket. I felt the hard, lumpy string. I pulled it out and stared at the tasbih beads.

'To calm your soul and as reminder to God.'

I started to cry.


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