Dalam banyak2 kelemahan aku, yang paling ketara ialah 'kompas' aku yang rosak. Kalau dicampak ke MidValley dan disuruh keluar dalam 5 minit, aku kompem sesat. Tetiap kali gi rumah orang, walaupun dah beberapa kali solat kat sana, aku tetap tanya kat mana arah kiblat. Tapi yang paling kelakar ialah aku tak reti bagi direction jalan:

'Orang dah abis dinner. Orang tunggu depan hotel ni tau.'
'Hotel tu kat sebelah KLCC kan?'
'Err...' Menjengah2 ke sekeliling, 'tak, kot.'
'Abis tu?'
'Kat Jalan Sultan Ismail la.'
'Yalah. Apa bangunan sebelah dia?'
'Erm... tak tau. Tapi kat belakang tu ada Menara KL.'
'Dekat ke jauh?'
'Erm... tak tau. Tapi kat depan ada Menara Prudential. Pastu ada track lrt.'
'Putra ke Star?'
'Tak tau.'
'KLCC kat mana?'
'Tak de sini.' --> Perbualan nih dah agak kelakar tapi dia dan aku sama2 tak ketawa.
'Awak sumer tak tau camne orang nak amik?' Dia dah nak jadi Hulk.
'Orang lambat sket, carik awak.'
'OK.'

(letak tepon)

'Awak, awak ikut jalan yang kita biasa amik nak ke KLCC.'
'Banyak la...'
'Ala, jalan dari opis orang tu.'
'Lepas simpang traffic light tak?'
'A'ah... kot.'
'Hmm.'
'Straight aje, pastu ada signboard ada tiga nama jalan, pastu satu tu Menara KL, pastu kat depan tu awak u-turn. Pastu awak straight aje, orang kat taxi stand.'
'Huh?'
'Err... ok2x. Awak u-turn kat ada showroom keta...'
'Keta Merc tu?'
'A'ah.'
'Ok2x. Orang tau awak kat mana.'

Huhu...! Kalau korang jadi DIA, mesti korang kompius ngan direction yang aku kasi tu, kan? Muahaha! Sebab tu dia selalu cakap 'kompas' aku rosak. Dan aku pun mengakuinya! :p
'So how's your day? Busy ke?'
'Erm...' long pause, 'Tak kot.'
'Buat apa la kat opis?'
'Takde sangat.'
'So **** dah tambah feature la? Lepas ni nak buat apa pulak?'
'Ingat nak taruk **** pulak.'
~ Diam ~
'Lama awak tak lepak ngan Along, kan?'
'Erm. Yalah kot.'
'Apsal awak tak ajak dia lepak? Mesti dia bosan.'
'Tak kot.'
'Naper?'
'Dia kan dah tukar keje lain.'
'Owh. Dah ye? Senang dia dapat keje baru kan?'
'Hmm.'
~ Diam lagi ~
'Kalau orang ngengada ngan awak, awak menyampah tak?'
'Tak tau.'
~ Di penghujung ~
'Naper awak tak banyak cakap?'
'Penat kot.'

Aku: 8 soklan kesemuanya = 8 markah utk aku
Dia: 0 soklan = 0 markah utk dia.

Pemenang kategori Penemuduga Terbaik = aku

P/S: Bagi mengekalkan kejayaan aku menggondol anugerah juara kategori Penemuduga Terbaik, aku mintak jasa baik korang untuk menyumbangkan soklan2 untuk stok 30 tahun lagi. Ini memandangkan aku punyer stok pun dah hampir abis. Jasa baik kalian aku ucapkan sekian terima kasih!
It's ONLY Tuesday, dayyyyuuuummmm!

Bloody, bloody, bloody Tuesday.

Sigh. <-- the girl who hates her work is ranting again.

Mug aku masa di JB diabadikan dlm latest blog design.
My CLK needs to have its battery changed. I am still debating whether I should just wait until next month to do so as I am running on critically low cash fund. However, the idea of going back at night with half-dead light (my signal lights have voluntarily committed suicide) is not that comforting either. Apa nak buat? Tukar ajelah besok.

My bike is a funny thing. I am 100% sure that it didn't like me back in JB. It kept burning a hole in my pocket with all sorts of maintenance cost. But ever since I had my accident, I think it has changed its mind when I shed tears over the sight of its damaged body. One thing that amuses me very much is the fact that it hates other people riding it. CLK lets its feelings clearly known if somebody else ride the bike by screeching like a banshee until the whole of KL can hear it coming. Seriously. I am really embarrassed when CLK is in this kind of mood.

There are more than once I feel like smacking its head but I really, really love my CLK. Strangely enough, whenever I ride my CLK, it only whines once or twice (buat2 manja la konon) then happily brings me to my destination without so much as a roar. Perhaps the reason is because I feed it with only the best (Shell fuel), and bathe it almost every week so it has recognized me as its cute little owner :p

So tomorrow after work, I will bring my CLK to the workshop to have its battery changed. I bet it will flash its light delightfully to everybody once it's done to tell - 'Hey, my owner simply dotes on me! Unlike all of you, losers!'
There was a time when working in a corporate environment was a romantic dream. All those opportunities to wear smart suits, display cool professional gadgets, fly all around the world, drive big cars, rub shoulders with the wealthy & famous, being treated like one, etc. For years, I set my heart out to be one of the corporate figures. It seems the happiest thing to do. Being in a corporate world is the definition of success, and I'm happiest being successful.

When you finally arrive at the doorstep of corporate world and you step in, the dream that you cradle lovingly in your heart shatters into thousands of pieces. All these have got to come with a price - you have to sell your soul, your time & your loved ones to hang on in this world.

For a start, there's work. Work you learn to do but never learn to love. Every day you toil doing something joyless. Then there's the people. The people who are concerned over the dollar they spent. They want to squeeze as much values possible from their money spent, which translated into demands, negotiations, etc. You hate to push people, and you hate to be pushed. But baby, this is all corporate world is about. That's why with all the pushings, they are known as the world mover. The world stands still unless business drives it.

People only respect you when you are in your smart suits. They don't give a hoot when you change into your ordinary clothes, despite the fact you're the same person. The smart suit represents power & status. (No matter the fact I wore my business jacket while riding my CLK). The hypocrisy of everything. What do you get in the end of pretending to be one of the corporate players? You spend what you earn to preserve your reputation. More suits, more gadgets and more of everything just so you can be deemed as equals among corporate people.

In my 15 years of education, I was taught without great sacrifices, there is no great success. That is why I never hesitated to sacrifice what I have to achieve success. Time, money and lately, my soul. Profit vs. conscience. Meeting vs. loved ones. A detailed report vs. rest & sleep. Nothing is spared.

But why am I so reluctant to leave if it makes me unhappy? Is it because the world still defines success as how I once defined it? If you can be totally honest with your own prejudice, who is a more successful woman? A lawyer who has an expensive wardrobe, a big car and a beautiful house; or a simple housewife who raises up five kids with none of them goes hungry, unloved and uncared for despite daily financial limitations? If you tell yourself you want to forego career because you want to raise your kids and give them the best possible love & care, or spend more time with your family members instead of setting business goals to close in a deal, does it mean you're short of ambitions?

I am at a point of questioning my lifelong dream because when I close my fingers to grasp it, it turns out to be such a disappointment. It feels like somebody pricks a needle into a balloon and it bursts and you realize there's nothing inside it. Your dream actually has shattered, leaving you clueless of what exactly is the right thing to do for the rest of your life.

What happens when dreams deferred? What happens when you figured out what you want and work hard towards it only to realize it is not exactly what you want?

It has better be between a confectionery shop or a chicken rice restaurant.
We were in the bus, heading home. I was looking out of the window, and then shifted to face him.

'Bosanlah'.
'Hmm?'
'Nak main Bingo pun tak bley.'

Earlier on, we played Bingo to while the time away.

'Hmm.' He was sleepy.
'Main sambung citer nak?'
'OK.'
'Orang start dulu ye? Pada suatu malam, dalam hujan renyai2, ada sorang pompuan tgh gendong anak. Dier pun berteduh di bus stop. Ok, awak sambung.'

He thought for some time. I waited. And waited. Finally he opened his mouth.
'Lepas tu datang bas dan pemandu tupun hantar dier balik rumah.'

There was quiet. He looked expectantly at me. I looked in disbelief at him. That was the best story ever. It ended in less than five sentences.
Aku bosan2 sementara tunggu pukul 6 ptg. Jadi aku pun bukak Google.Aku nak carik pasal apa yek? Hmmmm... Tetiba aku teringat dulu ada sorang mamat nih, dier nak siasat latar belakang aku la kononnya (haha! takot aku nih dulu penah masuk kumpulan haram ke, ada wat video tak senonoh ke, etc.). Kira nak wat authentication la pasal aku nih. Jadi dier pon type nama aku kat Google. Terkejut berok dier! Sampai sekarang dier susah menerima hakikat yg dier jumpa kat search engine tu :p

P/S: Aku pon gi search nama dier gak kat Google, Yahoo, MSN. Altavista buang karan je. Kot2 ader la terjumpa plak 'ini abg kesayangan saya...' So far, dier pon authentic item gak! :p Muahahaha! aku tak bley diajar benda2 camnih...

Aku taruk la nama aku kat search bar tu. Return: 2 page. Memang la tak de kaitan ngan blog aku sbb aku taruk nama betul aku. Tapi ada la aku terjumpa kat blog somebody else. Aku terlupa pasal benda nih. Posting nih dah lama, tahun 2002. Dier menulis tentang aku:
"Sedang melakukan spring fall(?) cleaning. Buang apa-apa yang tak patut, simpan apa-apa yang perlu. Terjumpa macam-macam benda. Tengah sort out kad-kad yang banyak diterima. Ada kad kahwin Akram, kad raya Mimi dan macam-macam lagi.

+ Dua yang menyentuh hati. Satu kad Thank You dari (Carneyz), student 2 SHP. Cik kieli ajar Pengenalan kepada komputer.

Dear Cik Kieli,

There are a lot of thanks I wish to extand to you:
1 - Thank you for your lessons (very helpful to our future)
2 - Thank you for your assignments (the last has been the best)
3 - Thank you for your warmth & friendly way - we never had a lecturer we thought of as a friend the way you are!
4 - Thank you for understanding our young, hot blooded nature
5 - Thank you for making classes interesting & fun
6 - Thank you for your trendy, funky method of introducing us to computer world
7 - Thank you for your notes.

Sorry if I had committed anything that offended you. Wish me luck in our final!
Once again - Thank you, Cik Kieli
-(Carneyz)- 2SHP

Kad itu diterima sebelum final exam, setahun yang lepas. Kelas 2 SHP itu cik kieli akan kenang sampai bila-bila sebab budak2nya vibrant. Ingat lagi, cik kieli tak gunakan pun silibus yang ada. Buat assignment sendiri, buat soalan final sendiri. Cik kieli suruh mereka create web page sendiri, hanya berurusan dengan cik kieli melalui e-mail, uruskan mailing-list."

Aku hampir2 terlupa pulak psl nih. Dulu, time aku study, aku selalu kasi kad ucapan 'terima kasih' kat sumer lecturer2 yang mengajar aku di hujung sem. Dalam kad tu, aku ucapkan time kasih sbb mencurahkan ilmu kat kiteorang, pastu mintak maaf kalau ada menyinggung perasaan sepanjang mengajar kiteorang. Tujuan aku bukanlah nak membodek mana2 lecturer, tapi sbb nak amik berkat & aku betul2 menghargai jasa baik dieorang. Kita kena respect kat guru2 baru boleh berjaya dalam pelajaran. Al-hamdulillah, memang ternyata benar pesanan nih. Sepanjang aku belajar, senang je ilmu melekat kat otak :p lagipun time aku study dulu tak layan cintan-cintun! Aku sorang 'nerd' yg suka mengabiskan masa di library. Alahai... windu plak zaman belajar nih :(

Tak sangka pulak kad yang aku kirimkan tu menyentuh hati Cik Kieli. Huhu. Aku dah terputus hubungan dengan Cik Kieli. Ada sorang lagi lecturer yang aku agak mesra dengannya iaitu lecturer English. Dia ajar aku masa Sem 4 (Tahun 2). Aku tahun 3, dia pindah ke UK mengikut suami. Buat beberapa lama, dier selalu email aku perkembangan semasa dier di UK. Macam member plak kiteorang.

Tapi lecturer yang aku masih kontek sampai skrg ialah Penasihat Akademik (PA) aku, iaitu Prof Madya Yusuf. Dier memang baik. Dier mengajar aku masa 2nd year & 4th year. Masa final year, dier jadi penyelia tesis aku. Walaupun aku student yang baik dengan dier, dier bukan jenis pilih kasih. Dier memang strict. Tapi aku sentiasa hormat kat dier.

Lepas abis belajar kat UTM, aku stay back kat Johor. Sesambil tunggu konvo, aku apply jadi research assistant (RA). Gaji ciput je, tak cukup pun cover makan minum. Prof la yang offer aku keja sambilan jadi tutor anak dier. Prof sekeluarga layan aku ngan baik, macam anak dieorang gak. So, aku memang terhutang budi kat Prof & family :) Sbb tu sebelum aku pindah ke KL, aku sempat menziarahi Prof & kasi cenderahati sket kat dier. Moga2 budi baik Prof dibalas Allah dengan pahala berlipat-ganda.

Pesanan kat blogger yang masih belajar, sentiasa la jaga hubungan baik dengan lecturer2 korang sebab dieorang pun manusia yang ada hati & perasaan, dan dieorang sentiasa nakkan yang terbaik untuk korang.
Semalam opismet aku sumer heboh2. Masing2 dok tanya, ada bawak baju sukan ke tak? Excited giler nak menguruskan badan petang tu! Petang yang ditunggu2 tu pun tiba. Mula2 sumer dok lenggang-kangkung, borak2, itu-ini, sampai la instructor tu datang. Apa lagi, sesak la toilet bila sumer dah kelam-kabut nak salin baju.

Kiteorang start dengan senaman memanaskan badan. Pastu instructor tu menerangkan aerobik yang akan kiteorang buat petang tu. Petang tu just intro je lah. Dier bagitau senaman tu bagus untuk mencantikkan [ahem], bahagian2 tertentu, terutama pinggang & pinggul. Minggu depan pulak dier akan ajarkan steps untuk mengempiskan perut. Sesekali dier bagitau,

'Kalau korang nak tau, akak ada 6 orang anak. Anak sulung dah 23 tahun. Tapi body masih solid, kan? Dari belakang orang tengok macam anak dara. Dari depan, baru tau dah kerepot!'

Bila dengar tu sumer, semakin bersemangat la nak ikut jejak langkah akak tu. Dalam sejam setengah sesi tu, kiteorang sampai berpeluh2 sbb step dier buat cepat & makin lama makin complicated.

Balik dari bersenam aerobik tu, aku singgah beli ubat gigi & tapaw kuey teow goreng yang sedap tapi mahal. Lepas tengok tv jap, aku masuk bilik dan terus baring sebab letih giler. Tapi aku rasa seronok pulak sbb dah mengeluarkan peluh. Harap2 aku berjaya la mengurangkan berat badan ke berat aku yang dulu :) Hahaha! Caiyok2x!

Bib: 'Hang buat apa nak kuruih?? Hang tu, pipi je chubby. Hang patut senam kat pipi je!'

PESANAN PENAJA: Kalau ada sesapa nak join, register RM15, fee RM35 utk 4 kali sesi sebulan. Tapi korang kena gi opis aku la tetiap petang Isnin jam 6 - 7.30 petang. Kalu berminat, boleh tinggalkan e-mel kat comment ye!
PM: We took into account the people's sentiments

KUALA LUMPUR: The Cabinet has scrapped plans to build the proposed new bridge across the Johor Straits, to replace the Causeway.The decision was made after negative public sentiments following Singapore's condition that Malaysia supply the republic with sand and allow it the use of Johor airspace.Yesterday's Cabinet meeting, after lengthy discussions on the issue which has dragged on for more than seven years, decided to stop all negotiations with the island republic on the bridge issue and defer to public sentiment...

More in NST homepage.

As far as I am concerned, this issue has been dragging since a long time ago. Malaysia wants a new bridge. Singapore does not (maybe wants to wait until the current bridge cracks or something before doing anything). Malaysia is adamant, Singapore claimed Malaysia will face certain 'legal consequences' if Malaysia goes ahead with the plan. Tapi, rupa2nya Singapore cunningly wants Malaysia to allow their jet planes to use Johor's airspace as well as for Singapore to buy Malaysia's sand for their land reclaimation purpose in exchange for this bridge thingy to happen. Johoreans object loudly and clearly that this violates the national sovereignty and how could Singapore ask for such things in the first, when this project is going to benefit Singapore citizens as well? Tak masuk akal.

Why is this issue so close at heart for me? Well. I spent a great deal of years in Johor and regards Johor as home away from home. It's a great place. I become half-Johorean during those years. So anything that upsets Johorean will cause concerns for me too. Such as this issue.Secondly, somebody I know got a job in the company that won the new bridge's construction project as well as the new CIQ complex project. Naturally, this causes a concern of whether she'd still have a job when the main project was scrapped off (but I'm sure she will). Although we are not particularly in the best of terms, I'm not going to laugh at her for what's happened, and say mean things. I'm not a mean person. I may not like her at all, but I dun think she deserves this shocking news too.

I hate mean people and I may put on the most annoying / irritating frown, or ignore people, or be totally uncooperative, but I don't do mean things. There were thousand opportunities to starve her cat, or mess up her stuffs or continued to sleep when she forgot her keys, but I don't believe in being mean. I'd rather deliberately ignore people's existence rather than deliberately say hurtful things to them (haha! bitc*ing excluded, all people do it la).

Yeah, so just hope all the best for her.
12 April 2006.

Jen - waited until midnight to wish her mom 'Happy Birthday'. Mom went off to sleep already so had to wait until morning for the reply.

Ainie - did something until almost midnight but spent the whole day before that preparing something. Really special. For somebody. Really special.

Survivor - dunno what she did but she must have thought about 12 April too.

Me - Happy Birthday, that someone special. And Jen's mom. And Chairman too.

P/S: Romzi, Happy Belated Birthday :)
Last weekend, I spent my time at home watching tv, reading books and sleeping. In a simplified way, I spent the time being a lazybum who wakes up at 10am and stays in bed until 12pm. For a change from routine and past weeks totally out of home 7 days a week, this is rather cool.

On Saturday, after coming back from work, I was supposed to go to Bib's place because her niece is having a 1-year old party and I was invited to stay over. I changed the plan because 1. it was raining cats and dogs. 2. I was totally wasted from my late night business trip of which I reached home at 12.30am.

I like travelling. In my current job, I certainly love this part the most. Not only because I get to stay in 5-star hotels, but also because I get bored easily in a confined, no-movement environment. Tapi, sejak company nak cut cost by asking us to travel AirAsia, it certainly reduces the joy of travelling by 50% less. It's such a hassle to commute to LCCT (why didn't they have ERL to LCCT??), and AirAsia never uses aerobridge so we have to walk, baggage and all, to the end of the tarmac (why can't they park directly in front of the terminal's door?!) which is like, 300 metres away (haha, lazybums). Plus, the LCCT doesn't have Famous Amos outlet (I always make a point to buy a cookie or two from Famous Amos). They do, however have one of the best turkey & cheese sandwich around (RM 6 for an outrageously small sandwiches).

Ahad. Aku bangun lambat lagi, kemas rumah, tanak nasi, tumis sambal bilis, goreng sosej, dan lepas mandi, lepak di depan tv lagi sambil makan. Tapi petang tu tetiba aku terasa nak buat perubahan drastik jadi aku pun pegi ke salon gunting rambut. Amoy tu cakap, kalau gunting rambut RM12, kalau cuci sekali RM18. Hmm. Best gak tu. Aku pun cuci dan gunting rambut. Huhu, seronok rasanya bila dia tekan2 kepala aku dan lepas tu siap urut2 tengkuk aku. Pergh, marvelous!

Dah setel cuci rambut, dia tanya aku, 'Amoy, u mau potong rambut sampai mana?' Aku pun terdiam berfikir2. 'Sampai paras bahu la.' aku jawab. 'Haa? U betul2 mau potong pendek ke? u rambut panjang oo, dekat2 pinggang mau potong pendek ke?' Amoy itu terperanjat. 'Ha.' Aku jawab ringkas.

Dengan itu, dia pun potong rambut aku yang panjang tu sampai pendek. Kepala aku terasa ringan. Bila dia kasi aku cermin, aku tengok dan tersenyum. Muahahahha! Rambut aku dah pendek! Selamat tinggal rambut panjangku! Ahahahahaha!

Kalau ikutkan hati, aku nak potong sampai paras tengkuk, tapi sebab aku dah nak balik, risau pulak mak aku tak boleh terima dan terus pengsan bila aku tanggalkan tudung. Tapi...

Muahahahahahaha! Aku sungguh berpuas hati. Rasa macam best bila dah potong rambut.
'Can we have McD for dinner? Err, drive-thru? My mom suruh balik sebelum pukul 9.30pm.' Ainie grinned guiltily.
'Ok. Tak kisah la. I pun ada meeting pukul 10.30 mlm ni kat Mutiara.' Me.
'Kenapa you bawak payung?' Chairman.
'Sebab hujan?' I offered an explanation.
'Kat atas tu?' Chairman dengan sinisnya.
'A'ah, hujan dalam flight tadi. Everybody had to hold umbrella thruout (the flight).' Me dengan selamba smash dia balik. With all the kids crying and making gut-wrenching noises throughout the flight, I was prepared for full combat with Chairman. Ainie gelak.
'Besok korang keja tak?' Ainie. Something fishy about this fish...
'Keja. Naper?' Me.
'Besok kiteorang cuti. Hahaha! Long live Sultan Johor!' Ainie got her pleasure.
'Tak kisah la. Last Hari Wilayah I pulak cuti, u guys keja kan?' Smash dier balik.

Sampai Mutiara dan check in ke bilik. Dropped all my bags and let myself fall backward into the huge bed. Blissful. Nak mandi dulu ke, atau lepas meeting? Lepas meeting la, boleh soak up in hot water lepas tu. Happily watched Kevin Hill show, about a lawyer whose cousin died and left a baby girl in his care.

10.30pm. I made my way wearily to the Board room. When I entered, faces turned to me. Ah, the silent observer is here. I never talked during meetings unless I had to point out something. Thus the Silent Observer. Meeting started at 10.45pm and ended 11.45pm. Penat giler kan? Pegi reception counter to book taxi tomorrow and then went back to my room.

Mutiara JB tak se 'fabulous' macam Mutiara KL. In KL, there's a sliding wooden-paned window by the bath tub so I can watch tv while soaking up in the luxuriously warm water. The room is more luxurious, complete with jacuzzi. And the pillows were as soft as feather. Still, this is considered comfortable too and I should be thankful to be given the opportunity to de-stress in hot water-filled tub.

Lepas solat, aku buat notes sekejap, prepared tomorrow's outfit, and then snuggled myself under the comforter in front of the tv. I watched a Mexican drama and continued watching tv until 2am. Then feeling like I need to force myself to rest, I switched off the tv, set the alarm, and switched off the main light.

I lifted my hand and spread my fingers, studying them intently. I like now. The now after I had unknotted tensed muscle in the bathtub. The now when my mind was empty of complicated issues and focusing on simple pleasure. The now under this warm comforter, feet snuggly curled and wrapped in stockings. Dim golden lights from the lightings in the hall making my surroundings look like I'm trapped in time-capsule with this relaxed feeling, safe from the future and the past. The now when I am a nobody's girlfriend, sibling, daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend, enemy, subordinate, but myself and my own soul and my own heart. I like this moment. I've retreated into the deepest place in my heart where there are nobody else inside but me. My solitude, my fortress, my sanctuary.

With that I fell into a deep sleep, finally succumbing to dreamless slumber.

Chairman was in the office today. Before anything is narrated here, Chairman made me so humiliated last week that I was extremely angry at him (or probably, he was a victim of my anger tirade due to my personal problem as much as he was the predator who loves to make me angry).

I have no idea why. We started off as good friends but ever since I moved to KL, and whenever I had to ask for his help in work, the experience left me feeling like I want to plunge my hand in the phone receiver, grab him by the collar and shout, 'That was important, ok?? Can't you help me as a friend if not colleague? I helped you, didn't I, you ungrateful Earthling??'

At the current moment, I like Chairman less than fire likes water.

Chairman, oblivious to my frozen expression, greeted, 'Morning, Carneyz.'

I grunted in reply. He stood, unsure of whether I had replied him or not. Then trying to make conversation, he asked, 'Is Zara due already?'

I grunted again. He was baffled, by his expression. Then, he went straight to the point,

'Can I use your PC?'

I tore my eyes from the screen to look at him in a disbelief, before finally breaking the ice, 'In front Im's place, there's a laptop.' I said that with gritted teeth which he did not take notice.

'Oh. Boleh guna ye?' He went to it and I rolled my eyes. 'Not under normal circumstance, usually we use that laptop to make coffee...' I said under my breath, but I didn't think he heard my sarcastic remark.

After a while, he walked back to my place. 'Can I use your email? Can't attach document on web mail la.' I almost shot at him, 'Apa lagi, you anak orang kaya? Can't you see I'm not talking to you? Humiliated me last time, buat don't know ye? Gigit baru tau!'

But he was putting on his most innocent and poyo face that left me wondering whether he actually knew how angry I was last week. Feeling resigned and because I don't particularly wish to be as unhelpful as him, I just shoved off the chair aside to let him use my PC.


Later:

Me: Poyo was here just now.
Ainie: Really? Lempang karang (??)
Me (enthusiastic): Lempang kuat sket, bagi pihak I.

(Both laughed evilly)

Apparently, I wasn't the only one annoyed with him.














Salam kepada sumer.

Di sini, aku nak mintak maaf kat korang sumer sebab hari tu mood aku tak baper bagus + aku ngantuk giler2 jadi aku tak bertegur-sapa ngan sesapa melainkan Juliana yang memang peramah orangnya, dan Kiki yang bertanyakan nama. Tu je. Aku sebenarnya agak keberatan nak pegi memandangkan indeks mood aku di paras paling rendah tapi aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhh! aku terpaksa pergi jugak demi menjaga perasaan orang yang mengajak.

Half-way tu aku terpaksa pulak meninggalkan majlis dan tak balik2. Aku rasa bersalah plak tapi, memang waktu tu aku perlu bersendirian. Erm. Harap2 korang faham la yek. Plus, aku sememangnya tak baper gemar menyanyi sebab suara tak best, dan aku just nyanyi bila aku sesorang. Dan bilik tu bertambah sejuk, dan aku bertambah mengantuk gara2 tak bley tido malam sebelumnya.

Jadi aku pun buat keputusan meninggalkan korang ngan feel good moment, takut2 mood aku yang diam tu akan merosakkan mood korang plak. Aku berjalan2 sorang diri di tingkat bawah dan minum teh panas di Sushi King, barulah terasa lkurang tension sket. Itupun aku sememangnya lebih banyak mendiamkan diri sepanjang hari tu sampailah aku tido malam tu. Itu ialah aku di saat2 aku mengalami krisis dalaman :( :(

Harap2 klu korang carik awek, jangan la carik awek cam aku. Banyak sangat angin kus-kus dan krisis dalaman! Buat penat aje. Huahuahua! Ntah la. *mood dah jadi negatif balik*. Aku mengalami jiwa kacau skrang bila memikirkan aku kena balik bulan ni.

P/S: Dhekchiq, sowee tak de mood gak nak merasa kek coklat tu. Lain kali, kalau ada rezeki, tak de mood pun akan paksa diri makan gak. Mesti sodap kan? ;) Time kasih la sebab bersusah-payah buat kek.