Just after lunch, while waiting for my food to digest in my stomach, I glanced through my previous blog postings to see how much I have changed over the past two years. The finding is actually disheartening - I've become such a boring person who indulges more on what's happening in my head than what actually took place in reality. Whereas in my past writing I was quite illustrative when explaining events e.g. 'I had a meeting with two persons. We discussed bla3x. At the end of the meeting we agreed to bla2x. I look forward to bla2x...' Nowadays, I write e.g. 'Today I attended a meeting. Bye.'

In the past even when I walked I had planned what to blog whenever I came across something worth to share. Nowadays, I logged on, stared at the blank space, then logged out. Even 'Today I attended a meeting' became too much of a trouble.

Anyway, today I'll attempt to be less boring by telling about my boring job:

Today, I woke up to my very encouraging alarm ringtone of 'Doa Pagi' (Morning Prayer) which had repeated itself for I dunno how long. I set that alarm tone because it is becoming harder to wake up for Subuh prayer nowadays - when I was in JB, I can always depend on my housemates to wake me up for prayer but here in KL, it is self service or DIY kinda arrangement. Sometimes I still can't get used to the DIY arrangement over here.

It was drizzling quite heavily. After solat, I sat down on my comforter, trying to decide whether I should take my bath (cold!) or tidy up my room a little bit (messy), or continue to do my web design (I didn't sleep for the whole nite on Saturday because whenever the Inspiration hit me, I could never do anything until I have 'drawn' it in the Photoshop). Somehow, in the midst of debating which option to take, I had slid down on my side and dozed off, no thanks to the awfully cozy weather and warm comforter. I woke up at 8am, and it was still raining.

I reached office at 9am (the 8.30am new working hour doesn't work on rainy days), made myself a mug of hot Milo and started work while thinking with envy that my colleagues in JB are most probably still snuggled under their warm, cozy blanket (why did I transfer to KL??) since it's Johor's Hari Hol. Envy, Envy. Today I worked on the newsletter. We had finally (thank God) gotten our KDN license and I had painstakingly compiled the contents from scratch. I had completed the cover story which still needs a good photo shot (which I don't have and I'm trying think hard how should I get it). It took me four hours to write the editorial.

Many, many times I wish that I can write like
Magic. Magic writes as flawlessly as she speaks. When she writes about food, she describes it so temptatingly delicious when it's just a bowl of mee rebus. What took me four hours to write, she could probably whip up something 10 times better in a friction of that time. Magic, Magic! Oy, are you reading this? Give me some tips on how to write a good article! Thank you!

I had actually given the contents to the publisher and the Creative Director has come back with the layout and pagination of the newsletter. But I'm not too happy with it which is through no fault of her. I did ask her to use her imagination. I need to re-layout and re-paginate it again. She is right. The photos provided are so not exciting. Those photos were taken by me whenever I made my trip to JB so they are very amateurish shots.

By the way, I am not handling newsletter publication per se. The newsletter is published quarterly and this issue is very slow in progress because of numerous problems and we are extremely busy for this quarter of the year. Whenever I had finished editing something, it'll take a few days more for my manager to clear it off pulak coz he has to oversee a lot more other things. For the moment, Magic's articles are still in my boss' PC. I'd be very glad when the printing's started.

When I was re-doing the layout, the Finance GM stopped by to ask, 'So, 007, what are you doing right now?' I grinned when he referred me as Bond's famous ID. The reason is because he caught me closing all work files when he stood nearby. I had been asked by Trump to keep my projects confidential that not even my manager knows why I would frown the whole day deep in thoughts of things I have to work on for the projects. I never really like working on the projects because it's more to what Chairman is doing. While he has the patience to slowly but comprehensively construct his reports, I have not even an ounce of that patience.

I guess I prefer work that requires quick, creative and dynamic thought process rather than complicated, technical and factual report. My favourite project so far is the website. Website is cool, funky, dynamic and (in our case) colorful. Details are updated frequently, and I can always pick up the phone to change / add on something that I think would make the web more fun to browse through.

The keyword in being a web project keeper is FUN. Writing newsletter may be tedious, but the contents must be FUN. Whereas, any design job is a favourite of mine coz I think the work process and the output is FUN.

At the end of the day, I just like to see a job well done and include the FUN factors to keep me enthusiastic.

So now, I've finished my work and I'm going off for jogging again so I'd better sign off now, change and pray Asar before I make my way to Titiwangsa Lake. Ciao!
Malam semalam lepas tengok berita (grr.. kiteorg satu rumah kutuk kekejaman Israel dan ke'hipokrit'an US), member serumah tukar channel ke TV9. Rupa2nya ada final Akademi AlQuran (AQ). Kiteorg sumer terpegun dan terasyik mendengar suara qari-qari dan qariah yang layak ke peringkat akhir ni. Tapi peserta yang berjaya mencuri hati kiteorg sumer ialah peserta terakhir dari Kelantan, Sdr Abdullah Fahmi b. Shukri @ Che' Nor. Bukan setakat suaranya merdu (walaupun adakala pecah dan serak), tapi dalam imbasan, dia buatkan kiteorg tergelak dengan celoteh tentang kudanya yang suka mengangguk ('kuda saya berzikir agaknya'). Dan dia selalu tersenyum masa membaca Al-Quran. Sejuk perut ibunya mengandungkan seorang qari.
Bila ditanyakan 'Adakah anda berasa yakin jadi juara Akademi Al-Quran musim pertama?' Semua peserta termasuk dia cuma tersenyum dan tunduk. Tapi dia sekali lagi buatkan kiteorg tergelak bila dia spontan menggelengkan kepala sambil tersengih. Seperti yang diduga, dialah Juara Akademi Al-Quran!

Apapun, tahniah buat Sdr Abdullah Fahmi :) Simpan elok2 pitih tu, buat belanja gi ke Mekah! Hehe.

Juara Akademi Al-Quran: Saudara Abdullah Fahmi dari Kelantan
P/S: Hopefully ada Akademi Al-Quran musim kedua. Dan kalau ada CD koleksi bacaan Al-Quran oleh peserta AQ, sudah pasti aku nak beli!

Source: www.comicspage.com

I'm having a 'blank' moment. That is one of the moment when I can't think of what to write which is quite frustrating. After mulling over my 'Masters' proposal for 3 days, I am now forced to divert my attention to my real job - to oversee contents for a travel newsletter. The only things still missing are the editorial and the front page article. Bother, bother.

Yesterday after work I took a commuter to Midvalley to meet up with a friend I knew from my uni days, Magic. She now writes the travel articles for my newsletter and that saves me a lot of trouble begging the airlines' to submit destination articles to us. She brought along a friend, also a photographer, and they discussed a business idea together. Even though their discussion did not involve me, I found it interesting (just watching Magic talked, and boy she's an eloquent speaker, is fascinating enough).

Ever since I dropped out of debating activities in 3rd year, I've lost the confidence to speak in public and become the shy person I was before that. I didn't realize how bad it was until I noticed that I start to stutter whenever somebody spoke to me and I tend to mumble when I talk with someone who is superior or those I regard as superior to me.

It becomes worse if someone prompts me to repeat what I uttered earlier because my anxiety would grow worse and I become self-conscious that I had said something unintelligible. Trump has the habit to stop me in mid-sentence to ask, 'Come again? What?' so I ended up stammering and having the look of horror and panic on my face. Of course it saved me from further interrogation, but it made me cringe and feel awfully miserable at the lack of my confidence.

What embarrasses me the most is the fact that my grammar would be all over the place even though I am a fairly competent person in written English. The same thing also happens once in a while when I speak in Malay so it's terribly awful because for goodness sake, Malay is my first tongue! Could it be that I have lost the ability to converse in whatever languages?

I hope and hope-to-die, that whatever's stopping my tongue to speak flawlessly will soon be overrid and I will no longer make a fool of myself when talking to other people.

Any idea, people?
Kenapa ya?
Kenapa ramai orang bingung, runsing, susah hati, marah dan mengutuk2 artis-artis yang nak kawen / putus tunang / bercerai? (termasuk aku jugak)
Yang nak kawen, teruskan berkahwin. Tapi tak payah la sampai nak jadi puteri dan putera dan spend beratus-ratus ribu ringgit untuk satu hari yang akan berlalu. Ada baiknya duit tu dihantar ke Palestin dan Pengandaran untuk bantu saudara seagama yang sedang ditimpa musibah dunia.
Yang dah putus tunang, diam2 je tak payah nak mengadu ke sana sini. Nabi dah remind awal2, setakat tunang tu tak payah la announce satu dunia. Bila dah break, orang pun berkata-kata yang tak enak. Huhu. Sabar je la.
Yang dah bercerai tu, tak de apa nak dicakapkan lagi. Setakat itu je la jodoh dieorang.
Ada benda yang lebih besar sepatutnya dirunsingkan dan dimarahkan oleh orang ramai. Contohnya kebiadapan Israel yang makin melampau. Ketidak adilan US yang bila negara Islam yang buat kecoh, dia cepat2 aje menghantar tenteranya ke sana untuk campur tangan (especially kalau negara tu ader bekalan minyak). Tapi bila kawan baiknya Israel yang bunuh ramai orang tak berdosa, dia menikus. Aku benci sama US. Dan aku paling benci sama Israel. Bila melihat saudara2 di Palestin dibunuh sesuka hati, aku terasa mahu mendoakan agar cepat2 kiamat. Cepat2 datang tentera Islam yang kuat untuk membunuh orang Israel. Cepat2 batu dan pokok berkata2 - 'Itu orang Israel! Bunuh la dia!'
Waktu aku third year, aku amik subjek 'International relations' as subjek tambahan. Aku sengaja pilih topik konflik Israel-Palestin untuk dibentangkan. Aku baca setiap buku yang ditulis oleh orang Barat dan org Islam. Dulu, orang Arab Palestin tamak nak duit. Jualkan tanah sekangkang kera kat Israel yang lari dari peristiwa Holocaust. Dah namanya Israel, dari tanah sekangkang kera, dia claim pulak tanah sekangkang gajah. Lama2 penduduk Palestin tu dia halau sebab dia nak buat negara dia. Sebab tu la terjadinya konflik yang berpanjangan.
Masa buat assignment tu, aku terjumpa sebuah sajak yang ditulis oleh orang Palestin. Sedih sajak tu. Dia mempersoalkan ke mana perginya saudara-saudara Islam bila Israel mengacukan kereta kebal ke arah rumahnya. Ke mana perginya saudara-saudara Islam bila peluru merobek tubuh abangnya. Sampai bila dia harus menunggu saudara-saudara Islam untuk datang dan membantu? Jadi dia harus berjuang sendiri mempertahankan diri. Sajak tu menggambarkan kekecewaan yang sangat mendalam terhadap saudara-saudara Islam nya itu.
Sebenarnya aku pun sedey gak. Orang2 Islam sibuk bergaduh sesama sendiri. Camane nak mempertahankan saudara dieorang? Kalau marah pun, setakat bakar bendera, baling batu. Apa kejadah? Kalau nak marah bebetul, amik alih ekonomi dunia, pastu buat sekatan ekonomi kat dua negara ni. Ha, amik kau! Bukannya tak kaya, tapi sibuk nak bergaduh sampai tak sedar kekayaan dieorang lama2 dah bertukar tangan.
Aku pun tak tau apa yang aku boleh buat untuk bantu rakyat Palestin. Aku cuma boleh berharap dan berdoa semoga ada negara Islam yang berani tampil membela nasib dieorang.
P/S: Kekecewaan tahap maksima dengan isu Palestin dan tak sanggup lagi tengok orang Islam tak berdosa dibunuh sewenang-wenangnya.
Semalam aku berjalan-jalan ke Holland dlm mimpi:

Welcome to my dream!

Sejuk dlm mimpi, sebab tu bawak jaket :p

Sesambil berjalan-jalan kat taman bunga...

Tak sia-sia aku terbang ke Holland! Muahaha!

Last sekali, ada itik enterframe!

Cecey... berangan2 pulak makan angin kat Holland :p Padahal kat KL jer...
'Sir, when are you expecting that memo?'
'If I told you I want it yesterday?'
'I'd have to go back to yesterday to give it to you.'
I'm feeling very restless. This morning, I spent about two hours with my fingers poised on the keyboard trying to figure out what exactly I want to construct in that presentation. Trump is in a bad mood and I'm having a mental block. It's not a good combination, those two.

Finally I gave up. It's not that I don't know what to write, I just don't know which one to begin with. Should this idea precedes that idea, or that idea is the base to all the other ideas? My super active mind is somehow rushing in multiple directions today at a speed that I can't hardly understand. In frustration, I walked and wandered aimlessly. I feel like venting my frustration at something. The things that were wrestling in my head had slowly mounted in excess energy that needed to be drained out in order for me to think.

So I did what I do best when I'm distracted. I opened the department's cabinet. Things are strewn about untidily at every shelves. T-shirt samples mixed with paperbag samples, diary samples scattered haphazardly, and pens of rainbow colors were everywhere. The document cabinet were in the same state of mess - unknown piles of papers and folders filled the lowest shelf. Finished artworks were stacked carelessly on the top shelf. The only shelf that resembled a sort of civilized look is the middle shelf.

The first thing I did was to get a box from the store room. Then, in my typical mode of operation, I threw everything on the floor. Then I began to sort the papers out. Those that didn't meet my standard (is of the past, will never be looked again and will never be missed, ever) ended up in the waste bin. Those that might be of use but of the past were stacked neatly in the box. Printed FAs were filed away in its file. Souvenir cabinet also underwent the same springcleaning operation.

Two hours later, both the document cabinet and souvenir cabinet looked more or less a picture of perfection. Everything is in its place and there are plenty of room for more things. I beamed at my own creation. It was hugely satisfying to throw away useless stuffs.

In my head, two voices spoke to each other:

Voice 1: Between a rich, handsome guy and a tidy cabinet, which one would you choose?
Voice 2: Definitely a tidy cabinet.

Chairman, if your table is magically whisked to KL, I'd return it spotlessly tidy with documents organized in the document tray according to dates and subject and half the papers ended up in the dustbin.
Semalam aku terkedu sekejap. Dia ajak aku ke Pertama. Beli handphone baru katanya. Untuk aku. Huhu...! Syahdu, gumbira, tergezut dan sebagainya!

(Dulu aku selalu kutuk awek yg dapat hadiah mahal2 dari pakwenye. Aku cebik bibir, kata huh, dieorang ni tak pandai berdikari, henpon pun nak harapkan pakwe support! Maka, seterusnya aku kenalah upgrade lagi kutukan aku tu -- huh, apalah pompuan tu, kereta / rumah / baju / tiket kapal terbang pun nak harapkan lelaki yang support! muahaha!)

Dier nak belikan henpon sebijik cam henpon dier. Tapi aku terjatuh chenta pulak sama itu Motorola yang casingnyer kaler biru. Huhu...! Tak pelah, henpon yang aku suka tu pun lebih murah dari henpon dier punye ;) Tapi memori lebih banyak - 5MB! Huhu...! Akhirnya Motorola itu jatuh ke tangan aku! (gelak macam setan lagi)

Aku ucapkan bebanyak timecey kat dier lepas dier meringankan wallet nya itu.

'Terima kasih, sayang. Terima kasih, sayang. Terima kasih sayaaaannnggg!'

'Lepas ni tak nak bila orang tepon, asyik abis bateri je tau?'

Senyuman di bibirnya sudah berkuntum2. Senyuman di bibir aku sudah meleret2. Aku suka! Suka bangat sama itu henpon!

'Awak, saya nak bayar separuh harga henpon ni, boleh tak?' aku tanya. Rasa bersalah menghantui aku kerana menjadi pisau cukur kepada 'Biarlah Rahsia' ku ini.

'La... kan orang dah janji nak belikan henpon dulu??'

'A'ah. Tapi kan, saya tak suka la awak belikan hadiah mahal2 ni.' --> erk, apakah kata2 dusta ini?? Muahaha!

'Tak yah la. Orang yang offer.'

'Nak jugak.'

'Erm... Suka hati lah.'

Maka tertulislah dalam akaun dan buku lejar aku sebagai 'Penghutang' dan dier sebagai 'Pemiutang' sebab aku takde duit nak bayar bulan ni! :p

p/s: aku asyik main henpon je arinih :p hehe... Tapi aku masih sayang sama itu Nokia 3210 @ CLK (Cute Little Komunikator) ...
Last week, aku gi JB. Ada video shooting. Pergi naik kereta company dengan beberapa staff JB yang turun ke KL. Sampai di JB dalam pukul 10 malam, terus check in hotel.

Huhu.. Tak bestnya. Bilik aku dah la kat hujung dunia, lepas tu kejap2 kena telefon maintenance / housekeeping untuk baiki TV dan hantar tuala mandi. Akhirnya pukul 12 barulah aku setelkan mandi / iron baju /solat. Ces. Cakap hotel berbintang2. Tapi entah haper2.

Tengok TV sekejap sebelum tido. Yang puas hati ialah katilnya yang 'King sized'. Sayangnya Survivor dengan Ainie tak boleh join pulak malam tu.

Besoknya, Ainie amik kat hotel pergi ke ofis. Lepas tu aku arrange pas keselamatan untuk videographer dan pergi temankan dieorang buat shooting. Dalam pukul 12.30tgh, pergi ke ofis dan pujuk Survivor pergi lunch. Lama tak lepak2 sesama. Tak lama lepas tu, Ainie join kiteorang. Mulalah sesi 'gelak macam setan'.

Malamnya, tumpang rumah Ainie. Kiteorang tido lewat sebab tengok bola. Germany vs Argentina. Ainie terlompat2 bersorak untuk Argentina. Mungkin sebab permainannya yang membosankan, aku kurang emosional. Hehe. Kalau tak aku pun akan lompat2 sama. Akhirnya Argentina kalah. Sungguh tak disangka. Agak bengang dengan keputusan tu.
Hari Sabtu. Bangun agak lambat, borak2 lepas tu turun dan cuci muka. Mak Ainie ajak breakfast. Dia masak gulai tulang. Sedap. Mak Ainie memang pandai masak. Sesambil tu dia dok bercerita pasal kawen2 ni. Aku geli-geleman sebenarnya nak citer pasal benda2 cam ni, rasa dah nak terkeluar balik roti, hash brown dengan gulai tu. Tapi layan je la.

Tengahari, janji dengan Survivor lunch kat Arked Meranti, UTM. Rindu nak makan ABC Special ;) Lepas borak2 dengan lamanya, Survivor balik dulu sementara aku & Ainie naik keta Chairman ke Skudai Parade, gi main archery. Best gak tapi sakit tangan pegang busur panah tu lelama. Lepas dua game, dah cuak giler tengok jam dah pukul 5.30 ptg (flight kul 6.30pm), kiteorang bergegas keluar. Chairman pecut ke Senai. Nasib baik dia bawak BMW. Dengan confident nya dia cakap akan sampai ke airport pukul 6.15 pm. Tengok2, memang tepat sangkaannya. Oleh sebab aku sangat lega in time untuk flight aku, aku puji la mamat ni:

'Dahsyat la you. Camane you boleh agak ye? I wish I boleh jadi terer macam you.''Apa? Ulang sekali lagi? Tak dengar la?'
Ainie dan aku buat muka boring.
'Takde2x! Nanti you jadi poyo.' Mamat tu dah tersengih2.
Menyesal pulak aku puji dia.
Lepas check in, Ainie belanja strawberry smoothie sementara tunggu boarding flight. Then barulah naik ke departure lounge. Huhu.. Sedihnya tinggalkan JB!!! Tapi, what a fun weekend :) I miss my friends.