As you all can see from the above, yes, that's my wedding invitation card. Yes, I designed it. Yes, it's cheap (RM0.50 per piece). Yes, we printed on gold color paper to make it look less cheap. Yes, we ran out of time to mail to everybody. Yes, we started late because we were busy with our own work. Yes, our workloads are taking too much of our time and add to our stress and subsequently, to less time preparing all those work related to this wedding in an organized way. And the biggest yes is, I can design this cheap card for you for an attractive price, according to your specification and you bet that you'll be tempted because like us who went around town peering at card designs, the cheap looks cheap and the expensive ones are nice but too expensive. After all, you are talking about living in KL.

Well, our original plan is to develop a special blog dedicated to our upcoming wedding whereby you can fill in your name and print the invitation card yourselves, chat with us etc. In truth and reality, we just don't have the time. Or we're too busy settling other stuffs. Believe me, doing wedding preparations are soooo exhausting. At times, we just wish we could fast forward time like in the movie 'Click' just to get over these exhausting preps.

Let's see whether I could answer one or two questions posed to us:

1. Are we going to have a reception in KL? We are considering based on how much is left in our fast depleting savings. Anyone who wish to make donations is hugely welcomed.

2. How many hantarans? Both of us are extremely kedekut. So he'll be getting 5 gifts for me and I'll reciprocate with 7 gifts. I wish to give just 5 gifts because I'm a strong believer in an apple for an apple (yes, one of the gifts will be apple), but my aunts wouldn't hear of that.

3. Whereabout honeymoon? Since I got 50% discount coupons for selectable hotels, we may end up utilizing those coupons.

4. Bersanding ke tak? Nope. We both agree we'd rather nikah in a sampan in the middle of the river behind my grandfather's house than bersanding.

5. What color is my wedding baju and what style? Aiyo. So kepoh. I'm not Siti Nurhaliza ok?

6. Can we get free flight tickets to attend your wedding? Do we look like we are related to Mr Idris Jala or Datuk Tony Fernandes?

7. Last but not least, on the question, 'Why Carneyz, Why??' Well, dude, we want to set up a non-violent organization that spreads love and lotsa love. Is that good enough for you?
Dear Somebody Out There,
Today I woke up miserable. Then I perked up a bit bcoz I remembered yesterday I went to cheer myself up by going for hair wash at the salon. My hair smelt really nice and it's really soft and bouncy. Unlike some people, I don't have to spend hundreds of ringgits doing re-bonding as I've been blessed with this naturally straight hair.

Dear Somebody Out There,
Today I was speeding to the office again. I knew I shouldn't do that but I had a joyous and indescribable feeling when I was zooming at 100km/h. It has been quite some time I acted in truly Minah Rempit way. I felt that when I was riding that fast, all my burdens were left behind and couldn't catch up with me.

Dear Somebody Out There,
I came in and chatted with the girls and we talked about erm, girl stuffs. They teased me because I walk fast, and my footsteps could be heard miles away. Someone once told my friend, 'Itu orang jalan aa, bumi tarak terima!' It seriously made me laugh. Ever since I was in school, I always walk fast and with firm footsteps. And I don't look left and right, but focused straight on to my destination.

Dear Somebody Out There,
Everything at work is not going great. If I could describe my work as anak ayam, then early this year I was given an anak ayam to mind. As months passed, I got a few more chicks and more and more were thrust into my hands. All the anak ayams tried to escape from my hold, and I am desperately trying to prevent them from straying away but they are too much for me to handle. I'm losing my grasp in everything. Everything.

I don't know why, but I felt like I was a fallen angel. An angel who had disgraced and then dismissed from heavens. Was I too rebellious? Perhaps. Was I too harsh in my criticisms against The Powers? Probably. Whatever it is, I'm facing difficulties at work where every minute, I can expect that I would be call in to be admonished by none other than Trump.

Anyway, today when I presented the souvenir proposal, he approved but not without saying that the souvenirs have to be all sold in six months time. I am appalled. There's no way I could sell 400 t-shirts in 6 months. We're not exactly running a retail shop, are we? Sometimes, Trump expects too much from me. I'm beginning to regret graduating as best student. With the 'best' title, people tend to expect too much even though you're inexperienced.

Dear Somebody Out There,
The only pleasant occasions today were when I received two ang-pows from one Datin who cannot make it to my majlis next month, and the other from our chairman, Datuk J who also wouldn't be able to attend the function. Maybe I should distribute my invitation to more Datuks and Datins. That way, I could get more money. Muahaha! By the way, the Datin who gave the ang-pow is a very nice lady. I like working with her and her creative director. She's such a down-to-earth person. And I'm not saying this because she gave me ang-pow ok? Datuk J, even though he rarely associates himself with us, is also a nice person.

When I came in to thank him for the early wedding gift, he was surprised to see me. 'Oh, you're the one getting married, is it?' as if I was the least expected person to give him the card. Hmm. Even Trump called me in to register his surprise. 'You're getting married??' in that I-don't-believe-this! tone. But those hardly beat the wackiest question I got from one colleague in JB who got the invitation and immediately called me:

'Why, Carneyz, why?? You broke everybody's hearts!' as if I was Siti Nurhaliza. So after this, I can expect people to criticize my wedding dress ('ugly!') / invitation card ('cheap!') / why I didn't hold a press conference announcing my wedding ('nak rahsia la tu!').

Dear Somebody Out There,
I think that's just about the only things I could confide here. If you ask me how I feel, I don't know what it is. Excited? Hmm. Nervous? Hmm. Sad? Hmm. Happy? Hmm. All I could think of right now are:

1. We're done with the filming and tomorrow, we need to drop by the production house and sit down to discuss the offline edit.
2. The calendar requires new photos and wordings for each of the pages. I will need to go to JB to discuss that with the designer.
3. How am I going to clear off 400 t-shirts in 6 months???
4. Christmas deco. How is the proposal coming along?
5. No news for the newsletter! How??
6. Sell idea to advertisers. How??
7. Can I clear those tasks before 10th? Oh, bloody hell. I'm turning into a swearing monster now.
I'm not happy today. I'm seriously, seriously upset. I'm terribly devastated. Deep breathe. Exhale. Deeper breathe. Longer exhale.

A voice told me 'Sabar2x. try to accept that there's nothing more can be done about it.'
Another part said, 'NO! Everything is about compromise! But I didn't get my part of the deal. Of course I've every damn right to be angry!'

Then the first voice told me, 'So what? It's not even YOURS. It's HIS what?' Hmmphhh... Betul juga. Like I wanted that in the first place. If he's fine with that, peduli haper. Dia punya, kan? He's paying for that.

Then the other voice argued, 'My dear, you still got a part in that even though it's HIS. Anyway, will you ever be able to have YOURS later ke? Hmm... Macam tak je...'

The first voice said, 'Tak kira la. You know what you want kan? You want that, you go for it. Make sure you'll get what you want because all this compromise thing? It doesn't work, girl. You know bloody well you can't sleep well if you can't get whatever you want in the first place.'

True, true. First voice won. Blood pressure goes down to normal. The panas meletup feeling became bara api only. I can't be bothered now. It's his property, why am I so worked up like this. I will save up to get MINE later.

I don't care. I want my own and I will get it rain, shine, earthquake or no earthquake. The End.
Me: How does your budget mechanism go by?
Him: Well, it's like fixing a deadline. If I could finish the project in two weeks, I'll inform my superiors that I need three weeks so in case there are more to what I estimate, I'll have the extra week.
Me: In other words, if you put a budget of RM350, you actually mean you want to spend only RM300.
Him: Well. If the amount is slightly higher, we still have extra money to cover this price difference. Say, maybe the price is RM320. But if the price is less than RM300, we can put that extra RM50 in our savings account, or use it for other necessities.
Me: What kind of budget is that?
Him: There are certain situations whereby we might over-estimate.
Me: Mine works differently.
Him: How do you go by then?
Me: You see, there are two kinds of budget.
Him: Which is?
Me: The first kind, is the proposal budget. You ask for more than what you actually need, in case the amount exceeds your estimation.
Him: That's mine right?
Me: Yes. The second one, is when you put the exact or maximum amount you could allow.
Him: Hmm. That is yours?
Me: Yes, because my concern is to spend the money that does not exceed the budget, so you have to make the limit clear to me. In this case, RM350 must means RM350, not RM300.
Him: Where does my mechanism apply?
Me: When I ask for money from you, I'll have to ask for slightly more in case the amount might be higher than what I estimate. So, there might be surplus, there might not be.
Him: A-ha. So I give you the maximum amount that I could allow you to spend?
Me: Something like that.
Once upon a time, in the southernmost state, there were five best mates who called themselves the Fab Five. Their friendship was struck when they were unknowingly snared into a dungeon and bound into enslavement by the most powerful curse that could only be broken when September ends.

They were made up of four gallant girls and one quiet and wise guy. The fairest girl was known as Jen the Criticiser who’d silence Paul Moss anytime she opens her mouth. The nicest girl was known as Ainie si Cantik Manis who was the most diplomatic among them all (let’s pretend we’ve never heard the word ‘pretty’). The third member of this secret clan is known as Survivor The Crazy – who has a warped and sudden sense of humor and quite boyish in appearance. The fourth girl was Scary Carneyz, who, when she narrowed her eyes, all hell break loose. Finally, the only guy who got stuck with the girls was hailed as The Chairman, whose main role was to ferry the girls around in his BMW.

They were insaparable lots, forever emailing each other in between doing their menial chores, going for lunch (voted the most favourite time of the day) and lunch was always raucous. Because they were the youngest lots, they were always bullied into staying back in the dungeon until late at night of which the only reason they stayed sane and intact is because they had each other (apart from the soothing voice of Jen criticising the keepers of the dungeon). Of course, you couldn’t really count in The Chairman’s offer to push Jen The Criticiser on her chair around the dungeon 20 times as a sign of sanity. The Fab Five were a crazy bunch of people anyway.

During the Untouchable Days, the Fab Five hang out at bowling alleys and after tiring themselves out, they hunted for the best eating place to fill their stomachs. Scary Carneyz thinks that is the main reason why she gained so much weight that she had to starve herself during latter days, but she doesn’t deny that they had so much fun.

Then one day, everything changed.

The curse was broken.

New people came to the dungeon and The Chairman switched clans.

Jen The Criticiser finally got her wish to break free and earn more elsewhere.

Scary Carneyz transferred to a quieter, more uptown and chic dungeon, still enslaved.

Thus, the Fab Five were forced to disband to follow their own destinies.

But in their deepest hearts, they wish that maybe someday, they can get back together. Maybe open a café like they used to talk about over dinner.

The End.
Ever since I came back from my Raya hols, I had a feeling like my head is being dunked under-water so my thoughts are all murky and soggy. You know, you got a feeling when you try to think hard, everything turns out fuzzy like a photo captured under water.

I tried to be more organized to help me think more clearly but even the effort is hard to achieve. It makes me exasperated.

Luckily, that didn't affect me from accomplishing my tasks. I managed to clear off a lot more things than before the raya break - I guess I really needed that break because at that point, I had gone stagnant. I was tired and fed up with everybody at work and everything that needed to be done. Now that I had unwind, things start to roll smoother and faster. Let's just hope to God that everything turns out ok.

Perhaps my under-the-water experience has got to do with my well-being. As soon as I got back to KL, I was down with flu. It's very easy for me to catch that bug. When I studied my horoscope, Geminis or those born in June are susceptible to lung-related diseases. Apparently, our lungs are quite sensitive. So we are most prone to flu, cough, etc.

I'm also worried about something that keeps tugging at the back of my head. I wish I can tell it here, but it's kinda private. The problem with me is I'm such a worrier. I think I need to straighten out my desk again and do my laundry tonight so I'll stop worrying and start focusing on more important things. Like my next 5 years plan. Yeah, right.