Last week, I cleared off most of the memos. All the memos are important. Department lain dah bising mintak itu ini. We have approximately 5 weeks to prepare an event. Yet, only 1 memo was signed. Last week, I sent a draft SOP to be cleared off. I never got any reply despite several reminders I sent.

It's really frustrating to work like this, isn't it? I have my own deadlines to achieve and it takes a helluva of a time to get past the approval phase. Tell me why I shouldn't get frustrated.

My boss is the most de-motivated person around. I do understand & I sympathise with the circumstances. But please la. While my assistant handles everything he is supposed to handle (including his travel claims, etc), I have to handle my assistant's work AND my work, on top of it. Tell me why that should not make me irritated with my boss.

Even the Finance Manager once, in a berrated way told us, 'I have 3 staffs over there, you have three staffs over here. Why can't you help us?' We start to do head-count and concluded he counted my boss' staffs as my assistant+me+me. Apparently, I'm a double-entry. Then I start to worry about how the company is faring when the Finance Manager can't even do head-count properly.

I guess this is the point of reflection. I am in the worst spot in my life - stuck with the work I love in a place I hate. Tough choice, Carneyz. Still, as I say - even the exit is forward.
Hari ni, keje aku memeningkan kepala.

Pening kepala#1
Baru jumpa Trump. Seperti biasa, ekspresi muka dier boleh buat lutut menggigil woo... tapi lepas satu demi satu memo taruk atas meja sambil explain,

'As a way to cut cost...
To help to trim the cost..
A cheaper alternative...'

mungkin menyebabkan cuping telinganya terasa lebih 'sejuk' dan 'nyaman'.

Tapi satu je memo dia sign. Hampehs. Whatever la Datuk, as long as gaji I tak kene trim. OK?

Pening kepala #2
Tengahari, ada meeting di PWTC. Kononnya nak mintak sponsor event. Beriya2 la dieorg nak 'memberikan sokongan padu'. Aku pun bersemangat la story2 pasal event ni. Akhirnya,

Aku: 'So, can I conclude that you are interested to be our main F&B sponsor?'
Encik X: 'Oh yeah. We'd love to support this event. We foresee that this event will enhance our brand & revenue on that day.'
Aku: 'Definitely, no questions about that. As our main sponsor, we'll make sure your brand will be visible. So, are you going to sponsor tea break, lunch or both?'
Encik X: 'Erm... Tengok la dulu.'
Aku: ??
Encik X: 'I can sponsor the mascot, the decorations, bla bla...'
Aku: !#$%&*?? Kata nak jadi main F&B sponsor, apakejadah nak sponsor mascot??

Dari zaman Uni lagi aku paling benci kene suruh carik sponsor. Sebab bila jumpa ngan orang cenggini, nak contribute kalau boleh sebatang pen je, tapi nak branding coverage mengalahkan corporation yang sponsor beratus2 ribu!

Encik X, kalau macam ni, baaaaaiiikkkkk lagi saya sponsor diri-sendiri ok? Lebih jimat tak payah nak buat advertisement khas untuk you!

Pening kepala #3
Bos kiteorg tanya, 'You all nak sponsor apa, ya?'
Aku dan Ira, assistant aku tengok each other dengan pandangan, 'What the...??'

Ira: Better lagi kalau I duduk atas pangku Encik X tu and cakap, 'Ala, Encik X... Boleh la sponsor makanan utk kiteorg... I think it'll work magic!'

Yes, Ira. Whatever is better than just asking whether they mind giving us a pen as sponsorship.

Pening kepala #4
Hari ni baru hari Khamis?? I can't wait for Saturday!!!
Yesterday, we were forced to go out to smell fresh air or die of boredom at home. Usually, we spent our time watching tv during weekends because: a. It's too hot to go outside, we might get skin cancer. b. Going out = spending $$; and we are not feeling that rich at this time of the month. In fact, at any time of the month.

Tv pun naik gila tengok muka boring kiteorang

So we decided to rekindle the old flame and went out on a date. Our choice of location was Lake Garden because we figured there'll be less people compared to Titiwangsa and more shady as the garden has more trees.

We were wrong on the less people part - the park was filled to the tiniest foot square with kids and parents. Kids running and screaming everywhere. Joggers, and even people filming a telemovie.

We bought some food so we can sit somewhere and have something to munch and a cold drink to cool ourselves, then set out to find a good place to sit and watch people. We talked and walked, and talked some more. Suddenly we spotted a cotton tree, with heaps of cottons on the ground. It looked like Christmas out of season.

Boleh kaya jadi pengusaha bantal kapas klu tanam pokok ni belakang umah

I was fascinated and kept blowing the cotton to see how far it could float. My suami terchenta pulled me away, afraid that someone would see me acting like a three-year old kid.

We resumed our walk until we came to the lake. Much to our delight, we saw some families renting pedal boats! Apa lagi, nak main jugak la.

Sewa pedal boat kat Taman Tasik Perdana cuma RM6 sejam!
We went from one end of the lake to the other, tried to go after the ducks and geese, then pedaled closer to the fountain jets to get some wisps of cool air.

By the time we finished using the pedal boat, it was after 6.30pm. Time to go back home. Before that, we stopped by Gombak to do some groceries, and only headed home around 7.30pm.

As he drove, my husband draped a hand over my shoulder and I leant against him and changed the gear on cue. We sang with the radio then watched the road in silent. I found that I was enjoying myself and that evening had been a peaceful one.

And we both agreed that it was a perfect date that we could repeat every week. Maybe when we are not too lazy to go out anyway.
Two weeks ago, I dreamt that I was at the brink of death. Nazak, to put it that way. Actually, in that dream, I felt perfectly ok but when I looked into the mirror, I saw a deadly pale face with white lips and grayish eyes. If you know how dead people look.

Of course many would say, that dreaming about dying only means you are going to live a little bit longer than you imagine you would. Haha. My question is - are you God?

Anyway, I just want to share the significance of that dream. How do you feel when you realize that any minutes now, the Angel of Death is going to come and take your soul away? In my case, maybe rip it off in such agony that no mortal can stand? But souls are immortal. Whether they can stand it or not, we all have to face the pains of death.

Then all the moments in your life flash back in front of your eyes - all the solat you left intentionally or unintentionally. All the excuses you gave to justify your guilty conscience. Can you fill a few minutes or even seconds to qada or replace the forgotten solat? What about lies? We all tell lies now and then. Will I leave this world with the word 'Munafiq' stamped on my forehead?

Then you try to think fast whether you have carried out your duty as daughter / sister / wife / employee as you should. You think about the days when you come in late for work and when you are dying, you can see it clearly that those aren't just minutes that are ok, but a breach of duty that translates into rezki that might be haram. So will I get whips of fire for that? What about the calls I should make to my family? Now, dah tak sempat.

The best part is as you wait frantically playing the kalimah of shahadah at the tips of your tongue so you won't forget it when Angel of Death comes, you think whether you have committed any offense to others. How in heaven are you going to seek for forgiveness when you are on deathbed? If you can't, how are you going to heaven anyway?

Sins are not a light subject when you are dying. You can't help but think about what you have done and how you regret spending your life doing wasteful things or negliging your duties as God's servant. You try not to think about the pain you are about to face. You try not to imagine the Angel of Death's face. There's only fear and regret that I felt in my dream.

I am terrified of death. I am terrified because I know I'm not ready to go to the Hereafter. I am afraid of darkness, yet my grave will be a dark place. I am claustrophobic (fear of being in a small, shut space), but my grave will be so narrow it will break my bones. I am afraid of getting hurt because the wound stings and throbs like nobody's business, but in the grave, Dark Angels wait with whips and mammoth-sized poisonous animals for people who committed sins.

And didn't God promise that all amalan (deeds), good or bad, small or big, will be rewarded accordingly? Even the smallest deed, as big as a molecule?

Have you dreamed about death?
Lately, I've been feeling down. It's one of the things women have to endure every month, the state of depression. In my case, my depression is rather self-inflicted.

I got depressed when I see my house in chaotic mess. No matter how many times I pick up clothes, towels, bags, books, papers, remote controls, they always find their way back on the floor.

I can't imagine if I start to have children. I'd go crazy, I think.

I got depressed when I wake up to find it's another day at work. Another day of hearing complaints, b*tching, and as if the whole department load is on my shoulders.

I even got depressed when I woke up to find my husband reaching out for the latest 3G handphone to check his email - instead of reaching out to cuddle up with me. I'm beginning to get insanely jealous of the phone and who knows I might throw it out of the window one of these depressed days. Or just hiding it somewhere away from my husband - under the gas stove or in the oven or perhaps in the washing machine. There are endless possibilities to explore.

Recently, I made up my mind to stop whining and grouching about how the system is such a rotten thing and just go about doing works instead of pointing to the right person who ought to do it. Despite management tips to delegate to get more effective, to me it's just bulls*it. The right person never do it and everybody ends up unhappy because the target got delayed, AGAIN.

And I am sick and tired of delays and how people around me keep depending on me or forgot what they are supposed to do because they are so consumed with unhappiness with the whole entire universe. The minute they open up their mouth, they will complain. Or promise to do something but then forgot and when reminded, never do anything. The only solution is to stick my head in the ground ostrich-style and just get moving.

Pray that I get a better offer. I am depressed, depressed, depressed.
Cerekarama #1
Aku mahu coret2 di sini selalu tanpa rasa bersalah. Coret2 dengan setulus jujur dan amanah sebab sekarang di rumah dah ada Internet! Tak perlu lagi curi2 blogging di office!

Mari kita bersama2 angkat tangan dan jerit, 'Hoyeeeaahh!!'

Terima kasih yang tak terhingga kepada suami terchenta kerana sekali lagi mengeringkan poketnya utk pasang 3G broadband di rumah. Aku sangat chenta kepada suami! Muahaha! Oopss... Gelak yg salah. Hihihi... *sambil menutup mulut tersipu2*

Sebenarnya sejak minggu lepas kiteorg bercita2 mendaftar 3G broadband tapi baru minggu ni kami pergi ke Menara Celcom. Bila dapat Sim card kami terasa ingin melompat2 kegumbiraan tapi perasaan tu ditahan2 sampai la balik ke rumah. Cik yang baik hati tu kata harus tunggu 24 jam untuk mengaktifkan tapi kami tak punya kesabaran setinggi itu. Baru beberapa jam, terus saja mengaktifkan Internet.

Sekali lagi, jerit, 'Hoyeeaaah!!'

Cerekarama #2
Suami terchenta dapat jemputan ke majlis pertunangan Cik Faizzah (K4sih) & tunangnya. Kami berbincang agak lama. Perlu bawak hadiah atau tak? Kiteorg tak pernah pergi majlis pertunangan sesiapa. Masa kami bertunang pun takde sapa2 beri hadiah sebab kami cuma buat majlis yang sempoi utk bagi cincin je dengan disaksikan oleh 2-3 orang sanak saudara. Akhirnya memutuskan untuk menghadirkan diri je. Lepas Maghrib, kami bersiap2 sambil cuba call sesiapa yg dijemput hadir (aku dpt tau dari cd @ Aida siapa lagi yg dah dijemput). Mr Shai balik kampung. Kak Retna tak dapat hadir. Agak lama untuk kontek cd akhirnya baru dpt. Dia pun tak dapat hadir jugak. Maka, tak dapat la kami menghadirkan diri sebab tak tau jalan ke rumah K4sih! Sori ya! Apapun, kami mengucapkan Selamat Bertunang!
Cerekarama #3
Oleh sebab aku dah bersiap2 dengan anggunnya, maka suami terchenta dengan sukarela nak belanja makan malam di Nando's. Seronoknya! Sesampainya di Nando's, suami terchenta order 1/4 chicken with 2 sidelines (peri chips & corn) manakala aku order 1/4 chicken with rice.
Makan malam berjalan dengan lancar dan romantik sampai la suami terchenta offer jagungnya kepada aku. Oleh sebab aku malas nak cuci tangan, aku pun cuba sedaya-upaya mencucuk garpu ke dalam jagung itu. Tiba2... Toing! Jagung itu terpelanting ke atas lantai!

Aku pandang muka suami terchenta, dia pandang muka aku. Akhirnya kami sama2 kontrol gelak! Muahaha! Sungguh malu! Di mana aku nak letak muka yang anggun ini??
Kami cepat2 menghabiskan makan malam dan melarikan diri dari tempat kejadian. Huhu! Aku tak mahu ke Nando's itu lagi! Tidaaakkkkk!! Suami terchenta gelak sakan kat aku. Sabar je la...

Resolution : 1024 by 768 pixel (right clik/properties/setting)
Laptop, LCD or CRT monitor : CRT monitor
Been using this desktop since : Awal tahun ni
Kaedah (sape yg tak tau) :Hit "Print Scrn" button (sblh F12) > paste kat paint/adobe photoshop..:)
Nak tengok desktop :
1. Encik Junaidix a.k.a suami terchenta
2. Survivor (marchattack@blogspot)
3. Jen2
4. Ainie
5. sapa2 lagi yg nak tunjuk desktop dieorg :)

Tell em' that u already tag them..pastu suh bagitau korang bila diaorg dah buat.
Semalam kiteorg balik dari kerja dalam keadaan basah-kuyup. Sebabnya kiteorang tak bawak kereta gi ofis dan tak sangka pulak nak hujan petang tu. Sampai rumah, aku asyik terbersin2 je. Alahai... Menci btol! Mesti nak selsema ni. Huhu! Aku memang pantang bila sejuk, mesti akan selsema.

Lepas makan malam, lepak2 di depan tv. Suami terchenta sibuk testing hp baru. Aku tumpang tengok. Tapi malam tu memang aku tak berenti2 bersin. Sejuk! Huhu..! Kompem aku nak demam la ni. Uwaa! Bila dah sejuk sangat, amik selimut sambil baring kat tepi suami terchenta. Lepas beberapa minit, konon2nya nak bermanja:

'Abang, nak air panas.'
Suami terchenta tak menyahut, terlalu asyik dengan hp baru.
Takpe2. Dia tak dengar kot. Sambung tengok tv sambil bersin2 dan tersiut2 dengan hidung berair.
'Abang, nak air panass...'
Merengek2 manja.
'Ok.' kata suami terchenta, sambil menekan2 butang hp baru.
Masih tak berganjak. Aku terbersin2 dan tersiut2 lagi.
'Abannnnggg... nak air panasssssssss...'
Merengek2 tak ingat dunia. Kalau boleh nak berguling2 sekali.
'Ok.' Suami terchenta dah bangun sambil mencangkung, tapi hp masih tak dilepaskan.

(Tekan butang Pause sekejap)

Teringat balik masa zaman bujang dulu, haram nak mintak org lain buatkan air. Sapa ajar merengek2 macam budak 2 tahun ni? Apsal aku dah tak macam Carneyz Minah Rempit yang brutal tak macam pompuan ayu tu?? Menjatuhkan maruah betol!

(Tekan butang Resume)

'Takpelah. Orang gi buat air sendiri.' Akhirnya aku bangun dan gi buat air sendiri. Ta-dah. Tapi geli hati gak tengok muka suami terchenta yang serba-salah kerana telah menduakan isteri terchenta dengan hp baru tu!

Kesimpulannya, kalu kawen ngan lelaki yang gila gadget baru ni, bersiap-sedia la menghadapi saat2 tak kena layan sekejap. Sama gak la kalu kawen ngan lelaki gila tengok bola. In fact, boleh amik kesempatan ni buat hal sendiri tanpa gangguan.

P/S: Pagi tadi, suami terchenta dengan baik hatinya rebus air mandi untuk aku. Hahaha! Tak nak aku merajuks la tu!
Recently, we have been exploring the idea of getting part-time jobs that we can fit in-between our hectic work life so we can earn a little more cash to support our very modest lifestyle.

The truth is, our day jobs simply can't allow us to save up and we are not talking about having a kiddo yet, but oh-my-God, the expenses for just the two of us already leave us with critical cash level every month. Maximum we can save up is probably RM100 and at this rate, we'd probably plan to start a family 25 years later. By that time, I'd be 50 and he'd be 53.

So, with the chances of demanding higher salary at -100%, the only way we can earn extra income is by offering freelance expertise. To start, we need Internet access at home to find freelance jobs.

But after waiting for Streamyx service at our brand new living area for months, we gave up hope that TMNet would ever notice our dire needs for Internet access so we start looking at other options. 3G seems the most viable (albeit at a higher cost).

However, that means we have to put up a slightly higher investment to get a good 3G phone with certain criterias that would enable two laptops to connect to Internet at the same time. Huh? Can ah? Dunno la. I have to depend on my husband's extensive knowledge on this sort of stuff to find out which phone models with that capability. Once we get the service, we'll know for sure whether this is possible or not.

So, we agreed to pool our resources (meaning he paid half and I paid half) to buy this very canggih phone. This weekend, we will sign up a 3G broadband service and see how this new hand phone live up to our expectations.

>> Hmm... need to get a part-time job fast since I'm saving up for something in May. Hopefully, this will work.
I put off writing about how my other CLK (Cute Little Komputer) had been badly hurt by ahem, somebody I know, for several days because I got really upset if either two of my CLKs (the bike and the computer) got in trouble.

So when I'm upset, whatever I write will be of something I will regret once I've cooled off, so I'd rather not risk it. I once wrote about how I was so upset with my closest bunch of friends when I was in that 'so upset' mood, and we ended up not talking for months while I pretended that I was ok not on speaking term with them (I was not ok and I really, really regretted my spur-at-the-moment action. Damage is done, anyway).

This is what happened that fateful night. It was Monday, a really bad Monday anyway. I hate Mondays.

As I was busy sewing up the hems of my new pair of trousers, my suami terchenta decided to play games on my laptop. Having access to my computer password, he helped himself to my account and when he got in, as usual, the annoying updates balloon popped up. I usually ignore the updates because when I bought my laptop, it came with not-so-original Windows OS so there's a risk that something bad will happen when I installed the updates on my counterfeit OS.

Because I was busy sewing, I didn't notice he had opened the alert and told me, 'Hey, there's so many updates here you didn't install! I install ya?' And he clicked on the Install button.

I was not worried because I trust his judgement as the programmer and deals a lot with IT stuffs. He should know better than I do, right?

Five minutes later, he said, 'Eh, how come the laptop keeps restarting itself?'

I looked up and to my horror, my CLK was behaving erratically. As if in slow motion movie, I slowly opened my mouth and let out a deep slow bellow, 'NnnnnnnNNooOOOO!'

That night he slept late because he tried to fix the problem (my Windows XP Professional is gone and some of the functions couldn't work properly) even though I kept asking him to just put it off to the next day. Poor suami terchenta.

So until today, I couldn't activate my wireless device which is a great inconvenience to me thrughout my trip out of town, which is a pity since for a change, I was early to the airport which offers free WiFi and I couldn't access it.

Of course I forgave my suami terchenta but if he asked me, 'Eh, I install the updates ok?' again in the future, I will immediately throw myself on top of it to protect it from any invasion. Huhu...!

P/S: Perhaps my CLKs have issues with suami terchenta. The bike got into accident and the computer crashed itself. But they always behaved wonderfully when I was using them :p What do you guys think??