The State of PMS

Lately, I've been feeling down. It's one of the things women have to endure every month, the state of depression. In my case, my depression is rather self-inflicted.

I got depressed when I see my house in chaotic mess. No matter how many times I pick up clothes, towels, bags, books, papers, remote controls, they always find their way back on the floor.

I can't imagine if I start to have children. I'd go crazy, I think.

I got depressed when I wake up to find it's another day at work. Another day of hearing complaints, b*tching, and as if the whole department load is on my shoulders.

I even got depressed when I woke up to find my husband reaching out for the latest 3G handphone to check his email - instead of reaching out to cuddle up with me. I'm beginning to get insanely jealous of the phone and who knows I might throw it out of the window one of these depressed days. Or just hiding it somewhere away from my husband - under the gas stove or in the oven or perhaps in the washing machine. There are endless possibilities to explore.

Recently, I made up my mind to stop whining and grouching about how the system is such a rotten thing and just go about doing works instead of pointing to the right person who ought to do it. Despite management tips to delegate to get more effective, to me it's just bulls*it. The right person never do it and everybody ends up unhappy because the target got delayed, AGAIN.

And I am sick and tired of delays and how people around me keep depending on me or forgot what they are supposed to do because they are so consumed with unhappiness with the whole entire universe. The minute they open up their mouth, they will complain. Or promise to do something but then forgot and when reminded, never do anything. The only solution is to stick my head in the ground ostrich-style and just get moving.

Pray that I get a better offer. I am depressed, depressed, depressed.

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