Tonight is a hot night.
! Not only because we did something hot, but because it is really hot, literally. That is why I have to get up and guzzle more water, another process I have to endure under my food change regime. While I'm struggling to down 2 litres of water at one sitting, I might as well update my blog.

Remember my posting about how I am diagnosed with PCOS?
The good news is, now I can stop blaming myself for weight gain over the past years! *pumps fist in the air!
It is all because of this PCOS, bad PCOS! It sorts of messed up with my hormones and somehow, my body can't seem to handle stress as well as other normal persons which then led to lower metabolic rate, resistance to insulin, increase in appetite, yada2x...

The not so good news is, PCOS sufferers also have more male hormones in their body! Like, hmm.... (garu chin as if I had beard) excess hair growth, acne problems, etc.? (Although I assure you, that I have yet the need to shave my legs)
Why can't I have more of the good male hormones, like their metabolism and stamina?

Is that why I am so ambitious, so competitive and aggressive when it comes to delivering my objectives, like a sportsman on steroid?

Anyway, PCOS alone is my number 1 reason to combat weight problem. Although, the whole thing is actually chicken-and-egg issue... which comes first? The weight, or the symptoms? Somehow, the blame game has to stop and mind has to take control over body.


Read more on PCOS here.
I have been enjoying fruit-based drinks lately as part of my food change regime. One of my fav is strawberry & banana shake. It is not only easy to prepare, but cheap too if you make it yourself! So who says you can't enjoy a little luxury in this difficult time? :)

Introducing my 'Ex-straw-bana-ry Shake', made from wholesome ingredients!

Yummy purplish drink...

1. Crushed ice
2. Strawberries - cut
3. Banana - cubed
4. Unsweetened soy milk (my choice: Homesoy) - 200ml
5. Fruit yogurt (my choice: Nestle Extra Creamy & Fruity mixed berries yogurt) - 2 spoonfuls

6. Nestum / instant oat / muesli - 3 spoonfuls to provide fibres to keep you full for hours
7. Honey - for those who wants to sweeten their drinks, but the fruits are already sweet enough to me!

How to make it:

Add in crushed ice and strawberry...

... followed by banana and yogurt.

Pour in the soy milk. Blend until smooth.

Lastly, blend in the fibre-packed nestum / oat / muesli. For weight watchers, 2 scoops of Herbalife F1 French Vanilla powder & 1 scoop of F3 for extra flavor (and benefits. Ngeh3x!)

Try this recipe today!
Recently I have been such a hardworking worker got a slight increment and suddenly, all sorts of unreasonable temptations came to mind! I certainly have been thinking to buy a brand new BMW PDA phone because it's a hassle to bring both PDA & phone around (I certainly need a PDA because I have to attend a lot of meeting / training / deadline in my current job).

I have zeroed down my dream phone to these two of which I was hoping to buy... erm, as my birthday gift next year? (have to start saving RM200 per month exclusively to afford one of these gadgets!):

Samsung Omnia... powered by Windows Mobile 6.1Professional, WiFi, Bluetooth-enabled, 16GB memory, 5MP camera. Current market price: RM2.8K

HTC Touch Diamond... powered by Windows Mobile 6.1Professional, WiFi, Bluetooth-enabled, 8GB memory, 3.2MP camera. Last checked price: RM2799

So, which one should I burn my hard-earned cash for, huh?
.... get a life la, Carneyz. *Shake head*

Seriously, I don't know what to write this week. I'm so busy with work, work is too boring to tell here, so how leh?

Anyway, this weekend I'll try to spare some time to think of how to have fun in 100 days. Can or not? Have fun also need to think, kesian la this lady... Memang tak de life la.

I'll start with Fun #1. A Healthy, Yummy Drink.

If you work in KLCC like me, it'll be good for your health. Why la? By lunchtime, food court is packed to the brim with people you can't hardly feed yourself, so are fast food outlets. Other places are too expensive to eat. So, go cuci mata la. Walk around and burn some calories. Or go to either TTFC or Fitness First gym to work out.

Today while I cuci mata, I decided that I should have something light for lunch and I stopped by Juiceworks. I was tempted by O'Briens but I was craving more for something sweet. So I bought myself a meal replacement drink called Ri*e N Shi*e.

What's in it? Mango, banana, soy / dairy milk, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, cereal, yogurt and other nice stuffs. They also have one almost similar drink called Bana*a Bla*t *ff that swaps mango with strawberry.

The taste? I am oh-so-lovin'-it! It's simple, fuss-free pick-me-up that tastes yummy and fulfilling. I'm not too sure about the calorie content though because its lousy website doesn't carry the info - but it leaves me full till 7pm. Hah. How's that for a power meal? Not only it tastes good, it has protein, fibre-packed cereal, yogurt and vitamin C-packed fruits which takes care of the nutrition part.

I am so seronok now that I have a healthy option for lunch :) So, can put in Fun list, kan? Boleh kan?

(I love the shake-juice so much that I made my own banana-strawberry shake, minus the vanilla ice cream for dinner. Will share the recipe later, Insya Allah)
We were watching 'Troy' on TV3 tonight and I swear by God's name, I have not watched this entire movie before. So naturally, I did not recognize the characters in the movie. Naturally.

'Wonder who's that guy? Must be Helen's hubby.'
Suami Terchenta casually answered, 'Nope. He's Paris' brother.'

Surprised, I asked him, 'How did you know?'
He replied, 'We watched this movie together. Don't you remember?'
'No we didn't.'
'Yes, we did. I remember we watched it during one of our dates.'

How could I NOT REMEMBER a character if I've watched this movie before??? I know sometimes I forget stuffs, but it can't be that bad that I forgot the entire story line of a movie I watched before?

So again, naturally, I had to smack his bottom and ask, 'No, I don't think so. So, who did you watch this movie with? Answer me!' ((Sambil buat mata besar))

He insisted that we watched this movie together, during one of my date trips to KL. But, I was not convinced totally. I can't have forgotten ALL scenes in the movie!

'If I watched Troy with you, how come I can't remember it?'
'I have no idea... but I know I watched this movie with you.'
'My memory can't be that bad! At least, I should remember at least one scene in this movie!'
'But we watched this movie together, I remember!'

After 10 minutes of bickering, I finally exclaimed,

'I know I haven't watched this movie, mister hubby! Coz I don't remember a thing at all about this movie. Unless I was knocked down by a car and lost my memory. But I don't REMEMBER LOSING MY MEMORY, okay!'

Somehow, the incredulous sentence that spewed out of my mouth got into both of us and we were laughing our heads off. That was the time when he suddenly remembered:

'Oh, my ex-housemate bought the CD. I must have watched it with them!'

*Smack head*
Tonight, I spent my time reading back on my old postings out of boredom.

Then suddenly, I realized that, 'Hey, I wanna back that girl! She sounds like she had so much fun even though she hates her job!'

*Shake the dust of gloom off myself*

Enough already! I was here before, this depression - when I came back from Africa (Yes, I'd been to South Africa! Courtesy of my uni) and found out my Grandma passed away. I spent time grieving, but I bounced back. Friends helped me a lot. I helped myself a lot. I had 'crash & burn' before, but I survived.

I wanna be that girl, that spunky survivor. That sarcastic, say-what-I-want-do-what-I-please obnoxiously rebellious character.

I'm going to pummel myself to life, and be my own shining star once again. So help me, God.

p/s: Azkam, TQ tolong aku berusaha. Hehe. Hope perubahan pertama ni akan jadi titik-tolak utk perubahan2 seterusnya.
Tomorrow marks 2 weeks after I came back from the hospital without the baby. I am doing better now. I stopped having urges to stuff something in my mouth because I felt empty inside. I stopped crying on my pillow at night. And I stopped dreaming about babies every night - I only dream of babies occasionally. I am coming to terms with our loss.

To everyone who had sent condolences, thank you. To those who shared their own experiences, thank you. To those who prayed that we'll have lots and lots of babies in the future, thank you very much and may God blesses you all.