The Pre-Birth Story - Khadeeja

Hahaha. I'm a lazy momma. Been a week since I gave birth to my beautiful second daughter and I only posted her announcement. Eh, what to do la, being a mom to a newborn is not free-and-easy. Nowadays, pantang also sendiri jaga, my Mom only helps out with the kids. Fair enough la, it's not like she's the one getting me pregnant *jeling at hubby*

Anywaayyyysss...

This is the birth story of Khadeeja Binti Junaidi, beloved daughter of yours truly and Encik Junaidix.

My last day at work was on 7 December 2012. I remembered feeling so relieved that I could finally look forward to a week-long break while waiting for my baby to pop out, either through induced or natural labor. Having GDM sucks, because my obgyn flatly refused to let me carry my baby till Week 40. But I was still hopeful that by going for long walks (albeit in shopping mall and year end sales) and daily swims, I could stand a chance of triggering my own labor, just like all my friends recommended. Besides, I was hoping that this baby will be born on the same day of our wedding anniversary and her big sister's birthday - 15 December. It was what I told her every night, to hold on and only make appearance on that day. Haha. HAHAHA. Next time, be careful when you make a wish huh.

10 December 2012 (Monday) - No such luck. Went for my weekly check up and was horrified to be told that I have to be admitted by that night so that I could be induced the next morning. Reason? My baby seemed to not gain any weight - 2 weeks ago, she was 2.62kg, and this week, she was 2.66kg. My obgyn said it could be due to placenta insufficiency. No amount of persuasion and tears could change her mind (some more go and scare me by telling me that if I delayed further, there's a risk of baby starving inside).

11 December 2012 (Tuesday) - Early morning, I was given a dose of prostaglandin, the tablet which was inserted through my vajayjay to ripen my cervix and start my labour. Then I waited. And waited. Around 10, I felt strong pressure on my tummy and... went to the toilet. Was disappointed that it was not labour yet. At 4pm, started to feel contractions (it was like menstrual cramp at this point of time) and I got really excited. OMG, I'm going to deliver my baby and it's going to be a normal birth! Kept my friends and family posted via FB (what to do, I've got to do something to distract myself from the discomforts!). As the night progressed, so did my contractions and by midnight, the discomfort turned into pain (felt like being slowly drilled down there). Nurses kept checking in on me and asking whether I would like to have something to relief the pain (but at this stage, I could still bear the pain and politely rejected their offer). Had to go through another vaginal exam (VE) to see how dilated I was but was hugely disappointed when told that I had not even opened to 1cm. In total, I had to endure 3 VEs in one day. Tough luck.

12 December 2012 (Wednesday) - Second tablet given as the first tablet was insufficient to start labour. Another VE (I was sick to the back of my teeth already having my vajayjay poked each time!). The thing about VE is it is only a minor annoyance if it was done by a gentle midwife, but it could be worse than the contraction itself if done by a midwife who had poked too many vajayjays to care about the patient's feeling by then. Eh, I'm not exactly expecting any foreplays before having my vajayjay poked but a little TLC could help to alleviate the stress!

So, anyway. Renewed my hope that perhaps I would deliver my baby on this beautiful date (12.12.12).  By afternoon, my contraction pains are becoming harder to ignore and at the same time, I was doing my best to follow advice by the nurses i.e. to walk around and see whether it could help to open up my cervix. Hubby tried to help by giving me back massage, foot massage and we even studiously pored over the 'Beautiful Birth' book to look at the various positions and touch points that could help baby to descend. It is worse than taking final exam, we even have to study for it!

I wanted to go for a walk outside of the room but the midwife on duty did not allow me to leave my room because she was scared that my waters would suddenly break (which is soooo not happening!). Secretly, in my agonised state, I thought she just did not want me to scare other pregnant ladies with my groans and moans whenever the contractions hit me. So back in my room I went, pacing up and down.

By 3pm, I was begging my baby to 'pleaseeee... be good and go downnnnnn...' My hubby had given up on giving me weird looks every time I stopped in my tracks and muttered to myself. I even tried visualising my baby going down the birth canal every time the pain hit me. It was not easy to relax my pelvic floor when the pain built up and hit me full-blown. At times I thought I got it, but most of the time, I ended up clenching up as tight as a clammed-up shell.

My obgyn came again to check on me, did another VE, and regretfully informed me that I was not even dilated to 2cm. Excuse me??! I thought I had been making some progress forcing myself to pace, squat and lean over to help my baby descend, not to mention all those coaxing and visualisation. I wanted to cry already but was too exhausted. By 8pm, I was in so much pain that I wanted to just be angry at anyone - at my hubby who apologetically had to leave for his class (wth? I'm in pain and all you care about is missing a class??! Where's the 'we're in this together' spirit?), at my mom who kept praising God every time I was hit by the strong contraction pains (I know she meant well, but a little empathy please? Saying 'thank you for the pain' by someone who did not suffer the pain, did not sound good to someone who actually felt the pain!) and even at my daughter Khayla for making too much noises. But I felt most anger at my obgyn who convinced me that I need to be induced immediately and it was already the second day, where's the urgency that you kept telling me???

Ok, I was not rational at that time. Pardon me for being racked by the most painful pain that makes most women leave their sanity temporarily.

And so, 12.12.12 came and went, and still no baby. I was beginning to think that the baby is not going to come out anytime soon. I was not ready, she was not ready.

13 December 2012 (Thursday) - Obgyn came to check on me first thing in the morning. She's not a morning person, I guess. After two nights in a row of being in pain, I was exhausted, stressed and not able to think much. When she told me that I could try for a third cycle of prostaglandin and risk uterine rupture and / or another failed induced labor and ended up having to go for C-sec, or I could be rational and just go for C-sec considering that the previous two full dosage of prostaglandin did not even succeed in making my cervix budge open - I mean, my cervix remains fast shut and baby remains well, inside. Or, I could go find another doctor.

At this grim reality, I wanted to break down and cry. I had endured contraction pains for more than 48 hours, and to be told that I could not have a normal labour was a bit too much for me. The only cheerful news was that my baby did not seem to be stressed by all the stress that I had to endure, her fetal heartbeats seemed to be normal.

Only after talking out to some people and also the midwife on duty (who is such a nice motherly lady who after sharing her insights and previous cases she handled, also told us to go for a walk at KLCC to release our tension of the non-progressive labour), we finally decided that we did not want to continue with normal labour seeing that the possibility of it being successful was reduced to just 30% or less.

Before we went out, we met the obgyn again to tell her our decision and then asked whether we could choose to deliver the baby on 15th instead of tomorrow? She immediately called the OT to check on OT room's availability on that date, and we were relieved to hear that OT room IS available at 7.30am on 15 December 2012. The date I told my baby to make her debut appearance and the date I had been dreaming to give birth to my second child.

Spent the rest of the day happily buying birthday gift for my Khayla, watching movie (Twilight Saga) and dining at KLCC. Still felt contractions now and then but was in a much better mind frame.

14 December 2012 (Friday) - still felt hopeful that I could suddenly go into labour. But began to look forward to celebrate my second daughter's birthday on 15 December 2012, along with my wedding anniversary and firstborn's birthday. Oh, and birth did not happen on this date.

15 December 2012 (Saturday) - D-Day. Will continue this in another post ^_^ Hehe.

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