Letter Day 9

Dear Khayla & Khadeeja,

I hope everything goes well in your life now. It seems that you are enjoying yourself very much with daily trips to the playground and eating out. Counting the days till we meet again sweethearts!

Today I didn't call again, even though it took me a great amount of effort not to pick up the iPad to open Tango. I paced, I did the laundry, I pumped while thinking about Khadeeja, I watched tv as I think about you girls...

Then Makyeng sent me a video of Khadeeja, I wanted so much to call... Instead I went downstairs and did 10 laps at the swimming pool... Then I felt a bit better. I know, you are too busy exploring the world I doubt you even remember that I am not there.

The past few days I struggled to produce as much milk as the first few days. Normally I could pump around 18-19oz of milk daily. As at tonight, I barely made it to 18oz. Barely. There's something wrong with the pump, I think I better bring it to service centre to get it checked out. But fret not Khadeeja, mak will try my best to bring you enough milk supply to last you for a few more days. And... I trust Makyeng will make the ration last long enough while I continue to give my best to feed you with nothing but the goodness of breast milk.

Khayla,

I am not so worried about you darling, I know you are having a fun time there. You are very good at adapting yourself and as Bapak noted, you seem to love being in Bintulu more than here because Makyeng can bring you jalan2 everyday and Pakyeng's place has many cats to chase and plenty of space too.

Khadeeja,

I'm really quite sad to see that you are starting to lose your baby self as you learnt to stand up by yourself at this age. I'm even sadder that I'm not there with you and being the one to teach you how to walk. I'm so sorry my cupcake. When this is over, I'll try my best to make it up to you sayang.

It's 12 midnight now. I have a long day tomorrow and I am pretty sure you both are already in dreamland. So sleep tight my babies. Dream a little dream of me.

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